The Reluctant Vampire Quotes

“Oh dear, is that a skunk?" Leonora asked.
"No," Alessandro gasped in horror. "No the smelly cat!"
"I've told you, Alessandro darling, they aren't cats."
"They look like cats. Like the big fluffy cat she's been stepped on and flattened to a big fluffy pancake cat," Alessandro argued.”
― Lynsay Sands, The Reluctant Vampire

“I'm going to brush my hair and change my clothes if we're going out. That gives you two ten minutes to get it out of your system, so I'm not stuck with a couple of frustrated horndogs all day. But no pressure," she added on a laugh as she swung out of the room and started upstairs.”
― Lynsay Sands, The Reluctant Vampire

“Harpernus Stoyan, if you can't behave yourself and go and turn all Roman hands and Russian Fingers under that comforter, you're going to have to sit on the couch," Stephanie snapped, sounding for all the world like a stern schoolteacher.”
― Lynsay Sands, The Reluctant Vampire

“She nodded, but Tiny was still holding her arm, and he asked uncertainly, "Are you sure you want to do this, Beau? It sounds painful."
"Not as painful as the turn," she said solemnly.
"And I'd go through this and a lot more to keep you as my life mate.”
― Lynsay Sands, The Reluctant Vampire

“Harper: "What are FM shoes?"
Drina: "Ahh. These are FM shoes."
Harper: "And the FM stands for?"
Drina: "Fuck Me.”
― Lynsay Sands, The Reluctant Vampire

“He had never fainted in his life, and while he knew it was this whole life-mate, mind-blowing-sex business, it was still damned demoralizing to be fainting like a breathless virgin at the end of every encounter.”
― Lynsay Sands, The Reluctant Vampire

“A doorstop?‖ he squawked.

―Yes, doorstop. As in big, silent, and good only for holding wood.‖ She smiled sweetly,

and added, ―At least I‘m pretty sure about the wood part. Nanos do make sure immortal males

function in all areas.‖

Drina watched with satisfaction as Anders‘s mouth dropped open. She then shifted in her

seat to a more comfortable position and closed her eyes. ―I think I‘ll take a nap. I never sleep well on planes. Enjoy the drive.”
― Lynsay Sands, The Reluctant Vampire

“Harper shook his head. “Well, I’ve never been treated like a girlfriend in all my life. It was a bit lowering.” “Nah.” Tiny shook his head. “It’s a compliment. It means they don’t see you as sexually threatening. You’re a friend rather than a man friend.” “And that’s a compliment?” Harper asked doubtfully.”
― Lynsay Sands, The Reluctant Vampire

“funny thing about people. The ones who seem strong and mouth off the most, or bully others, are usually the ones most terrified and weakest inside. And the ones who seem quiet and speak their fears, appearing the weakest, are often the strongest under it all.”
― Lynsay Sands, The Reluctant Vampire

“No, my eldest brother. He was named after our father. Our parents died when the Romans first invaded, and Stephano then became the "head of the family". " She grimaced. "He and I are like oil and water. Or we were. We get along well enough now, though." She grinned. "But boy did he pitch a fit over the concubine thing. He even called in Uncle Lucian to deal with me."

Harper's eyebrows rose. "I'm surprised Lucian bothered to intervene."

..."Yes, well..." Drina grimaced. "I'm afraid while I was een as a concubine, I was really playing puppet master with my lover and kind of ruling the country though him. At least until Uncle Lucian caught wind of it and came to give me hell.”
― Lynsay Sands, The Reluctant Vampire

“Okay. Let's see..." She considered her past, and then smiled wryly and shook her head. "Well, I was a perfume maker, Amaone, concubine, a duchess, a pirate, a madam, and then a hunter."

Harper's eyebrows had slid up his forehead as she rattled of her resume.”
― Lynsay Sands, The Reluctant Vampire

“You guys put them all on a boat and sent them over here to North America a couple of hundred years ago.” “The English maybe would do such a thing. Is what they did with the criminals, so maybe they would send you the smelly cats. But no the Italians. We would no be so cruel.”
― Lynsay Sands, The Reluctant Vampire