Profile best read in FA "light" theme while I work on a better, more compatible "color code" for both themes. My apologies to the "modernists!!" If you have better color suggestions please note me kindly ^^;

I:

~ Am still around! ...At least since 2007 on this website. ~

No matter how hated and outdated this place may become; I feel safe and welcome here.

~ Was born IRL on: November 16, 1984 ~

~ My IRL ancestry is: 50% Italian, 26% Irish, 21% English, and 3% "Other" (I "may" be a descendant of Irish Heraldry; But it is yet to be tested 'officially'.) ~

~ Am an ADVOCATE / ACTIVIST for the betterment of people with my medical issues. And have actively participated in the CANADIAN LEGISLATIVE PROCESS (as a Citizen Self-Advocate;) both FEDERALLY and in the PROVINCES of ONTARIO and MANITOBA ~

~ Am ACE, MALE, and go by "HE/HIM" or "THEY/THEM". ~

~ Am TOLERANT! As best I can be. ~

~ Have been a BABYFUR since 2005; and an ABDL since 2003. ~

However, that is a long time ago --in a different time...

~ Have a Babyfur/ABDL age of between 2 AND 6 YEARS OLD. ~

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- Vary Between times of wanting to completely isolate out of revulsion of everything... To the point of total solitude and sensory deprivation... To times where I need and love the company of others to survive; less I die! Though, I do desire friendships and commonality--all the time~
- Recreate while being here--in a way I never have before in my life.
- Have found here what I have now; no where else that I've ever been in my 38 years of life.
- Have ran into numerous conflicts, but at least I've found enough good things that make it worth staying around.
-- Want to have continued good times while growing and developing further as a person. Even if that is through a computer and occasional IRL meets.

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- Am a FLUFFY POKÉMON with soft ROYAL BLUE fur... --like a certain "Disney monster."
- A strange-looking; but cute; hybrid mix of a Pikachu and a Goldduck... My type is Water / Electric.
- I have Psychic abilities. (...Inherited from some of Mewtwo's DNA; and some IRL ...maybe.)
- Have a nature of: ~HARDY~
- Posses a long (relative to my size); prehensile tail:
- Like to wrap creatures up in my tail and give hugs (or gently bounce "Micros" ^-^).
- Can also use my tail as a third hand x3.
- Am much larger than a Pikachu, but slightly smaller than a Goldduck... About the size of a human 4 year old.
- Am in total control of my blue electricity. It has a 75% chance of paralysis on contact with it! (...XD)
- Don't bite mostly--though DGAF what you think!
- May bite then if provoked... Be warned!
~ Have little black claws at the end of my paw fingers --and I know how to use em :P ~
- Seem to have found a place of stability, as a Pokémon furry; in the furry fandom.

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- Will always be a Pokémon! No matter what!! It has helped to make me who I am!! (Though I have other characters that may appear from time to time, I primarily play most of the time.)

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- Am an oversized cubby Pokémon ...in a human's body.
- Am a "switch;" who likes to play the "little caretaker" role sometimes (with a bit of telekinesis x3).
- Like to spend a lot of time in character... Cause: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s86K-p089R8
- Like To wear THICK, BULKY, (maybe) CRINKLY, and PRINTED; INFANTILE LOOKING DIAPERS in IRL... Like most babyfurs do! (This is not exclusive from enjoying the rest of ABDL though.)
- Like To RP! LOTS! (Just keep it to FA's "mature" content rating.)
- Like to be "plushie-hugged", and 'sometimes' be a living plush! (Only temporarily though. ^^;)
- Love to SNUGGLE and be cuddly with mutuals and loved ones online.

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- Am quite athletic IRL. Though, not as much as I used to be due to the ravages of life.
- Am a news junkie.
- Whine/Rant alot. Oh well~

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- Have an IQ that has been tested to be somewhere between 122 and 134! Go figure!!
- Took 2 years of university (BA-Sc Mechanical Engineering;) but stuff [below the horizontal lines] made me not finish...
- Graduated high school Cum Lade; by winning a prestigious award.
- Did Experiential Work on a MAJOR DEFENSE PROJECT that I cant talk about publicly.
- Passed 2 of the 3 major engineering exams required to practice as a Professional Engineer in the US and Canada (in 2008 and 2009, but things have since changed BIG TIME!!) but couldn't continue as an engineer due to not being able to handle university (thanks to his -issues-).
- Have non non-furry interests in: computers, electronics, science, engineering topics, cooking (LOVE TO COOK!!), gardening (I'm "distlephobic" though - severely), nature, taking pictures, being lazy, building things with 'kids' toys, some crafting, and martial arts. (when I can afford to do them).

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~ Am like a TUMBLEWEED! ...That buries things in its gnarly mess. Just settle, spread roots, and move on: over and over. A long journey, and alot of problems, but regardless; able to survive and maintain Homeostasis... ~

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~ I could maybe be like this: watch?v=yEnDOXmyU-o ~

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~~ Or this: watch?v=RfHnzYEHAow ~~

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I'M ON OTHER SITES TOO CONSIDERING WHAT HAS HAPPENED HERE (MORE THAN FA) AND I AM NO LONGER HOSTING CONTENT HERE DUE TO "TRUST ISSUES". MY CONTENT (IF I HAVE ANYTHING REALLY) CAN BE FOUND ON BLUESKY, AND IB. I CHAT THOUGH DM ON THOSE SITES OR, IM (Discord & Telegram) and I'M ALWAYS ON IM!! I'VE BEEN BALANCING MORE SITES AS OF LATE SO I AM MORE OUT THERE IF YOU JUST WANNA SAY HI! ~.

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~~ HAVE OPTIONAL, BUT IMPORTANT INFORMATION ABOUT ME TO SHARE UNDER THE LINES BELOW: ~~

(Read at your own risk!)

Just to explain some of my issues of the past a bit further--and to just show just how "rare" I am. (Almost a crime against nature, in fact.) Plus, I like taking a sledge hammer to STIGMA! _{(Even if it means death and self-shattering my skull with it...)}

I've had difficulty interacting with lots of people before and running into serious conflict because of it. So, I find laying everything down; here in the raw: will help break any misconceptions...You; the reader: may have when encountering the WEIRD ME. Its no excuse for being an ass, or performing socially inappropriate behavior though, and I acknowledge that. I won't hide that I do have legitimate issues that will 'irk' people; leaving me bullied by: and avoidant from most people. Nor will I hide the cycles of improvement and regression that I work through.

Most people know I'm pretty messed up and that I have a history from IRL no one wants to listen to (thanks to my meltdowns over many years). So, you can scroll to my intermittent art postings and go TLDR at my 'TLDR stuff below the lines...' If you want. I don't really fit in anywhere to be honest but I gotta try. I guess I still get along at a nominal level (mostly). I try to at least in this great microcosm of furry--in my small Pokéball... And / Or digitally--in my allotted PC storage. All life is precious... Even, at times if its against an individuals will; or the will of society...

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I:

~~ AM 'OK!' ~~

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I:

~~ GUESS... ALOT!! (Life is what it is!) ~~

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~ I Am PICADUCK ~

(or just "Pica" for short)

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(TLDR PARTS BELOW)

(Beacause Im tired of explaining...)

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I:

~ AM [technically] DISABLED ~

-- Am undergoing medical treatment with high levels of [...finally. ...tolerable...] medication: injectable and oral. (Though, Getting 'therapy' in Ontario, however... Is a TLDR/political issue that I wont elaborate on in my profile. (Nothing's perfect, as it involves a lot of money for private care. Of course, I can't afford it.)

-- Am currently under the care of a 'reasonable' and 'accommodating;' but not perfect: Medical Care Team.

~~ CAN STRUGGLE WITH EXTREME HOPELESSNESS FROM TIME TO TIME... (Because of 'everything') ~~

-- At times, have the emotional instability of a 15 year old due to the extremely rare and unusual makeup of psychological issues that I deal with daily. My life is full of trauma from failed and improper interventions, or treatments, to manage my mental illnesses. Doctors and caregivers have performed many experimental treatments and they have done psychologically abusive things to me. To cope; since 7 years old... Ive been turning to... What I later found out to be: Paraphilic Infantilism (...in 2004). Because of this; I feel like: what you call a "Forever Child".

-- Used to Self-Harm and have horrible Autistic Meltdowns... However, the medication changes made for me in 2016 eliminated 95% of these two issues.

~~ Was born with an inoperable, fucked-up mass of MYELIN in each forearm. The abomination, shorts the MEDIAN and ULNAR nerves together; into a single: gnarly: MOTOR RESPONSE... ~~
--- Figured out the "how's, why's, and what's" of this on my own, but it wound up costing $35,000CAD in consultation fees! (This was required as a part of Work Rehabilitation efforts...)
~~~ Am delayed in 'muscle actions' by a good 43 - 48 ms by this issue... (don't ask me for specific terms please! As that is information burred in my health records... [Call ODSP lol...]) ~~~
---- would forever be called a LAZY ASS! [...Without fault] For not performing menial work tasks FAST ENOUGH [compared to 'normal completion time'],had i not made it a mechanical--not 'effort'--issue...
---- Can't draw, or play video games that well because of the delay. (I don't even try most A+ titles LOL!)

~~ AM DIAGNOSED WITH: "ASPERGER'S DISORDER" [Somewhere between 'ASD level 1 or 2.' (However, no psychiatrist in Windsor, Ontario wants to follow Health Canada Guidelines {for ASD Adult Patients} to get a proper label)], MAJOR DEPRESSION, SOME KIND OF A "MOOD DISORDER" (But they cant really pin it down, as my "symptoms" keep changing...), AND I'VE HAD -Several- "PSYCHOTIC EPISODES"(caused by possible "PTSD...") ~~

-- Am one of only 35 known patients in Ontario that suffer from the combination of conditions that I do. (Of over 14.57 million people!) Other than myself, the rest have an Intellectual disability...
--- Of this group; only 3 are functionally independent. THE REST ARE MEDICATED TO THE POINT OF BEING AMBULATORY...
~~~~ THE MOST INDEPENDENT OF THEM ALL -- LIVING ALONE!! ~~~~
---Spent the first 15 years of my life locked-up in institutions for children and youth:
---- They kicked me out; when they realized realized that I was ASD, and not a 'bad kid [criminal, violent, aggressive, etc...]'
---- "Aged out;" of the system At the same time; then returned to my family until I was "kicked out:" Again!! _{(For my issues with family...)}
---- Is the only babyfur; with a public profile: who seems to have experienced what I have as a child. Or at least talks about it. _{('Who dares to speak of this taboo!? At least with ASDs?'})
~~~~ HAS A HUGE, NEVER-ENDING FEAR OF BEING RE-INSTITUTIONALIZED! To the point of it being the primary driver of my SUICIDAL IDEATION 'episodes'. (I prefer MaiD over institutionalization for myself now adays.) ~~~~
---- Has an 'Institutional Background' where: 65% of people with it KILL THEMSELVES before their 35^TH BIRTHDAY! Otherwise: 15% wind up in long-term care facilities and 15% become violent offenders. Only the remaining 5%; make it to FREEDOM.
~~~~ AM A 'PRECIOUS' LIFE ~~~~
~~~~ AM BEATING THE ODDS! ...SINCE 2019! ~~~~

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~ AM BASICALLY RELYING ON THE 'GOVERNMENT-ENFORCED;' SLOW DEATH MARCH; OF THE: ODSP [ONTARIO DISABILITY "support" PROGRAM] TO SURVIVE...

_{(I would have died already if it wasn't for this; because people like me dont exist in a "purely capitalist" system. Though maybe as slaves and unpaid workers!)}

-- Ask you to follow these people to see what it is really like to live like me: ODSP Action Collation(I am not affiliated with them)

-- Its a poverty and somewhat miserable life, but I do better than most recipients by sacrificing just about everything "HAPPY" to feed myself properly and having a "last chance housing subsidy" (before homelessness or death). Sadly though, this province doesn't GAF about people like me so they are slowly giving out less and less. Eventually, all of us; the 508,000 or so ODSP recipients--will starve to death due to lack of funds / inflation. Or we will all eventually be killed off by #MAID if things don't change soon! (or the 'elements' perhaps...)
--- Am trying my best to be comfortable financially, but I struggle with the occasional help of friends and family. Their help is greatly appreciated and keeps me from being SUICIDAL!
--- I have no money for any entertainment, or socialization whatsoever even if I wanted to. I haven't seen a movie in over 3 years, been to a restaurant or bar in over in 6 months, own no consoles, and have a minimally capable 11 year old PC as of {16052023} (not that I can play video games as it is). I subscribe to no music or TV services, and have bare minimum Internet. Due to one of the failures of canadian socialism, I cant get much more "net speed" than I have already. I do not pirate material anymore --WHATSOEVER-- and I gave up fan-subbing anime over a decade ago. I pretty much just surf the internet and Youtube; or watch FTA TV[CBC] on my custom Fractal Antenna while twiddling my days down until the 'END'! ...with bare minimum recreation. _{(Other than the escape of the free internet, or playing with my plushies; at least.)}

~~ Was also declared Permanently Unemployable by the Ontario Social Benefits Tribunal in 2008... ~~
--- Have tried a number of basic / entry level jobs unsuccessfully (aside from successfully completed contracts for temporary vocational / experiential positions); like several years in back of house kitchen operations, or customer services part time. My desire for seeking out employment has phases like the moon does; but over years instead of months._{(if i even can at all anymore...)}

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~ HAVE BECOME QUITE SKILLED AT INTERPRETING AND RESEARCHING MATTERS OF CANADIAN LAW... ~

-- Am good at assisting legal experts who help me to deal with the legal matters related to my mental illness(es)...(not a lawyer though so still need them to finalize things.)
--- Can do some legal work on my own with minimal assistance (self-represent)...
---- Have attended a number of courts & committees, and have gone before several judges, or magistrates; in these matters. Cases and history for me, go back to the age of five...
~~~~ Have INDEPENDENTLY sought guidance from the Ontario Human Rights Tribunal n past advocacy efforts 3 times; To: correct & discuss policy alternatives, seek legal policy on matters related to my medical treatments, as well as to obtain 'protection & understanding of lifestyle preferences.'

~~ Canadian Socialism keeps me alive and independently out of institutions!!~~

~~ I ran an officially registered sole-propriety; political lobbying / self-advocacy group called THE ASPIE ARMY for about a year.
~~~ Shut it down due to a Conflict of Interest with the Defence contracting that I was involved in. (Had a 'GST exemption number' and everything / a 503(b) US -equivalent- worth about 35k CAD at the end.)

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~ AM ALWAYS WALKIN' ON EGGSHELLS!! (Because...) ~

-- Am Constantly FUCKING-UP SOCIALLY...!!

-- Frequently step on'social land mines!' THEY CAN WIPE OUT YEARS OF GOOD RELATIONS with individuals or groups...
--- Have done this in a single paragraph! That's all it is all it takes. Unintentionally!! Or without even knowing it... (Like my profile has possibly done. Maybe??)
~~~ Have latent fears about making someone so mad again... THAT THEY WANNA KILL ME! (It could happen again...) ~~~~
~~~ HAVE BEEN A VICTIM OF IRL VIOLENCE~ MANY!! MANY!! TIMES!! ~~~~ (shot stabbed, beaten, Molotov Cocktails thrown through open/broken apartment windows, crosses burned on my apartment's front lawn, car bombings; you name it. All because of my 'socially inappropriate (autistic) behavior'-- It's why I only really leave my apartment for essential supplies, family functions or medical appointments. Remember as well; that I haven't gone to a restaurant, bar, or social function, in over 3 years--due to ODSP finance issues. People usually like me a lot or they just get so annoyed at me for what I wanna say/do that they wanna beat the fuck out of me IRL! It just is; no room in the middle.)
---- Some local furies have come right up to me and basically indicated that I am lazy and should starve to death because I'm not working... That's when I was all but banned by one of the local fur groups because of it.
~~~ I have marched on 2 different legislature grounds in protest and have gone as far as setting myself on fire for my causes. Those were dark times -.- ~~~
~~~ I am a lobbyist and political critic and has been banned from speaking about these matters everywhere but FurAffinity and extreme leftist groups ~~~

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I:

~ Believe that I may be slightly CLAIRVOYANT IN IRL! ...And definitely an 'EMPATH...'~

~~ I HAVE AN INTERMITTENTLY OPERATIONAL, HIGH SENSITIVITY; PSYCHIC ANTENNA! ~~
~~ MY BRAIN PICKS UP THE MOST RANDOM (...and appropriate) STUFF; OUT OF THE BLUE: WITH NO LOGIC OF ACQUISITION ~~

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Don't mind the melancholy... It's not you. Life has dirty diapers sometimes--and information is lost... Blame the, Third Law of Thermodynamics.