Honestly, right now I'm not too sure how to feel about myself.

So, I stumbled across something about "Aphantasia" while browsing Reddit and suddenly, a lot more things make sense. Before I go on, I encourage you to watch through this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ewsGmhAjjjI.

Theres a little test at the beginning, which I tried on Kel; someone I've always considered super creative. He scored himself around 8-9. Me? I scored myself an absoloute 0. Anyone who knows me knows I talk VERY negatively about my art and I consider myself lacking creatively -- sadly people have often (though understandably) seen it as fishing for compliments or worrying over nothing. When I'm looking at the art of others and seeing all these wonderful images, it hurts knowing that I'm not able to imagine this stuff myself.

I've always subconciously pinned my lack of creativity on my depression, hoping that once I am cured of it I can be a better artist. I honestly feel a little defeated knowing that wont really be the case. At the same time though, it feels a little liberating knowing my past frustrations and self-loathing have been somewhat validated...