hOI!!!!!!!!

The Seeing Eye has been around for over 95 years. It's purpose is to provide those who are blind, or visually impaired, with a service dog who is capable of replacing the need to use a white cane. The training is quite intense, but worth it for the amount of confidence, wisdom, and freedom a Seeing Eye Dog provides.

***

Please allow me to apologize for having been so quiet this past week. Training at The Seeing Eye starts at 5:30 AM and does not end until after 8:00 PM. During this span of time, you are caring for the dog, training in travel on how to safely navigate various types of routes one may travel to get from a Point A to Point B, shown how to work the dog in stores and other types of places you may travel to, sitting in on lessons on all aspects of caring for, loving, and providing for the Seeing Eye Dog you are partnered with, etc. Downtime is brief, but I will try and get on when it is possible to see what you all have been up to and/or have had to share with me. :)

***

The interesting thing about The Seeing Eye is that, for me, it offers a chance to meet others who are blind, or visually impaired. This is both good and bad as it is nice to talk to others who have struggled with losing their vision while also making me quite jealous of those who still have usable vision left compared to my total lack of physical eyesight. Often, I forget to not compare myself to those who still have partial vision. There is just a jealous duck-butt who really misses being able to visually appreciate anything and that duck-butt is me. :)

***

As for my writing, I am thankful for all the great advice that you all have provided to me. For now, I think I will stick to really short stories while simply enjoying the stories and art that you are all putting up to be seen by the community. I have some ideas for longer stories, but nothing that feels ready enough to write. There is also the fact that, even after I finish my studies at The Seeing Eye, I have to work to successfully transition the new Seeing Eye Dog, whose name is Nugget, so he is comfortable at home and with the travel routes I typically take while exploring the city I live in.

***

Well, the break is over and more schooling to become perfectly partnered with Nugget is about to begin. If anyone is interested in what a Seeing Eye Dog is, I encourage you to either ask me in a comment below and/or watch the following video.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pmossob3sgM

Your Pal:

---Yosh E. O'Ducky ;)

Hamha!

Kazootles! 2025 is definitely quite the year for this dino-duck. For starters, I am set to begin my training with my new Seeing Eye Dog on January 6th. This will mean that I will be away in Morristown, NJ for approximately three weeks getting reacclimated to the proper techniques for using a Seeing Eye Dog. It's a pretty intense program at The Seeing Eye, but the reward is great and, if I'm lucky, I'll end up with another great pup who will aid in my travels for just as long, if not longer, than Uri / Buddy did before retiring.

Oh, speaking of Uri / Buddy, he is really enjoying his retirement with Winry, Flynn, Owlbert, and Mrs. O'Ducky. He has really taken to my sister's son / my nephew, too. When he is not trying to play with Owlbert, he is following Winry and Flynn around to make sure he is always keeping an eye on someone before he finds a good place to take a long nap. He may be doing a lot of sleeping now, but he does still have a lot of energy he can bring out when playing with my sister and her family.

The only downside to my forthcoming adventures at The Seeing Eye is that I'll be missing out on being present for my son's 18th birthday. :( Golly, gee, kazootles can I remember thinking how far away 2025 seemed when my son was born in 2007. Now that time seems to have just flown by at warp speed. I do believe this is why people will always tell you to not rush the experience of being a parent. Kids just grow up so fast. However, I can certainly say that I am proud of my son, his accomplishments, and the goals he has set forth for himself after High School.

Double yikes! My son is graduating High School this year, too! I remember being in disbelief when I finished High School. Knowing I had spent over 13 years navigating preschool, primary, and secondary school seemed like quite a lot. Now my Peep has done the same. However, unlike me, he is set to graduate with over a 3.7 GPA with plans to attend college in the Fall to pursue a career in Art. Art is a tricky field to succeed in, but I know he'll find a way to maintain his love for the arts no matter what professional career he finds himself in post college.

***

In other news, I am hopeful my time at The Seeing Eye will help jumpstart my writing once again. This writer's block has been a total pain to deal with. I have the desire to write , but just don't know what to write about. Anybody have any suggestions? I have thought about updating some of my stories that I've written over the past 16 years, but really don't know what to do to truly create new and enjoyable content at this time.

***

I wish you all a very happy and prosperous 2025! Lucca and I have some pretty big plans for the year, too. However, I'll share more on these as we get around to making them into reality.


Your Pal,

---Yosh E. O'Ducky ;)

Hamha:

More than seven years have passed since I got my Seeing Eye Dog. As of tomorrow, he will be officially retiring from being my sighted guide.

***

Uri / Buddy was originally set to retire back in July of this year. However, The Seeing Eye did not feel my home was quite ready to bring in a new service dog. Fortunately, the delay worked out in allowing me to find the perfect place for Uri / Buddy to spend his golden retriever years. This being with my sister, Winry.

***

In other news, my mom recently had both of her knees replaced. It's amazing how such a procedure to reenable one to be comfortably mobile again can be done over the span of three months. (My mom had to put in a lot of effort to get to her first surgery to repair her knees, but all her hard work allowed for a quick turnaround on having the first knee fixed on September 6th and the other being repaired on December 6th.).

***

I want to thank everyone for your support in my last journal. I was so worried about feeling alone after people started leaving FA that I totally forgot about just how many friends are still here. I'm still struggling to get my Writer's Block to go away, but I have been enjoying going through posts from pals to see all that everyone has been up to. I've also been happy to learn of friends to whom I forgot to follow and, now that I am, I am finding my submissions folder being filled with delightful content for me to enjoy as I find the opportunity to do so.

***

Back on The Seeing Eye Dog, I am set to get my new one on January 6th. All necessary documentation and prerequisites have been completed with only having to pass a COVID test on January 3rd standing in the way of me and my new Seeing Eye Dog. Never will any Seeing Eye Dog replace Uri / Buddy, but it will be nice to have a young pup who is eager to go for long walks while Uri / Buddy enjoys the easy life of being able to enjoy the life of a non-working dog by spending his days with my eighteen-month old nephew, Owlbert, Winry, and Winry's husband, Flynn.

***


Happy Holidays!

---Yosh E. O'Ducky ;)

Hamha!

Some may have noticed that I have been quite a bit slow when it comes to posting and replying online. The reason is that I have been feeling unsure of what to do now that so many friends and folks I follow have migrated to different places as a result of all the drama that has befallen both Fur Affinity and Twitter.

***

Since September 3rd, 2008, I have been a part of the furry community here on FA. I have made lots of friends and learned how to be a better person both online and off. I have also become so enlightened by the creativity of everyone who has allowed me to participate in their creative efforts both before and after I lost my physical eyesight…

…However so much has changed in the furry community since I decided to open myself up to it. The biggest part is how a once accepting community has begun to shame and drive away those who share what it is that they feel is worth sharing about themselves.

I am a [Baby Fur]. I enjoy animated, animal characters doing cute and cuddly activities in their diapers. I also enjoy being able to freely explore parts of myself that do not pose any harm to myself, or anyone else. For years, this has not been a problem. Unfortunately, recent events have shown a lack of tolerance for those of us who are trying to cope with our lives through the arts.

There are those who know of how, prior to discovering the baby fur community, my greatest fear was for people to misjudge me for an interest I never asked to have in the first place. I have used my writing to try and make sense as to why I enjoy diapered cartoon animals and have greatly appreciated those who have aided me in my journey of self-discovery. The recent actions that have been taken against baby furs has brought back a lot of trauma that I experienced prior to joining FA. Most notably how my ex-wife reacted when I told her of how I had such interests. She shamed me constantly for what, no matter how hard I tried, I could not make go away. She even made it a point to state how I needed professional help with my problem. (Fun fact is how, as I began to lose the rest of my eyesight, I did ask my therapists about my affinity for animated animals in diapers. None told me that I was ever doing anything harmful to myself, or anybody else.).

I will always remember how my ex-wife put me down for something that had been a part of who I was since for as long as I can remember. I did not choose this interest as much as it chose me. I know many others also did not choose to have an interest in something that is as misunderstood as liking cartoon characters in diapers. Who in their right mind would ever want to bring upon themselves teasing, shaming, and being perceived as a horrible person who would do horrible things?

***

Since I lost all my physical eyesight on December 15th, 2016, I have struggled to find something to feel happy about. So many aspects of our world are visual. This includes web sites and phone apps. Most of which do not work well with the screen reading software that is made available to those who have little, or no, eyesight.

So, as I write this journal, I feel like a kid who is walking all by himself to an empty playground. If I was not blind, I know I could easily follow everyone to where things are a lot more friendly to baby furs, but my physical disability and lack of accessibility make this extremely difficult. How can one feel inspired to write, comment, or do anything positively productive when they feel like nobody is there to share in the fun of being creative while not feeling all alone for who and what you are on the inside?

***

Sorry for this journal being so long. I just really needed to write out my feelings to better understand why I just don’t feel like getting on the computer anymore. It’s a lonely world when you are blind and it is even more lonely when you feel like there is no place for you to find any amount of happiness without having to struggle and/or feel like you are going to be assaulted by close-minded, judgmental people who assume over attempting to understand.


Your Pal,

---Yosh E. O’Ducky ;)

hOI!!!!!

I wish to start by thanking everyone for their suggestions and support as I plot a course to where I may try to go if FA ever gives me the boot. Currently, Babyfur.Me is showing promise through being fairly accessible to my screen reading software. However, as not all of my friends are ‘Baby Furs’, I may do my best to establish myself over on Ink Bunny. IB appears to have the most people to whom I follow on it and I definitely want to keep in as much touch as I can given my physical limitations, my ability to interact through adaptive software, and the best chance for what I post to get noticed by anyone who is my friend, or may be interested in becoming friends.

***

Now that I’m feeling a bit more comfortable about what to do if my days on FA ever come to an end, I would like to see if anyone out there may be interested in one of my Story Commissions. The price is $30 for a simple story of up to 2,000 words with longer, more complex stories being $50 with a minimum of 5,000 words being used to tell your tale.

The way my Story Commissions work is that I communicate with you through Direct / Private Messages to get an idea of what you’d like to have your story be about along with what characters will be in it and how you’d like the characters to act and interact with the world around them. Once we establish the story that you would like written, I will get to work and send you regular updates to make sure you are happy with the story. If you require any additions, subtractions, or modifications to make it more enjoyable to you, I will do my best to make it happen.

***

As for how things are going outside of the internet, I am still finding it hard to no longer be able to play video games. However, in a very kind gesture, one of Lucca’s friends took the time over Discord, which was set up by Lucca for me to use just for this purpose, to listen to a play through of Chapter 1 of Indigo Park. The friend who did this was very descriptive of what was going on in the game and, as a result, I felt like I was able to enjoy the game in a way that felt like I was playing it myself. (Molly McCaw is my favorite, of course..)

***

May you all have a most wonderful day! I look forward to sharing new stories, or writing a story for one of you, very soon.


Your Pal,

---Yosh E. O’Ducky ;)

Hamha!

The most recent news of people being banned on FA for their content in relation to Baby Fur, Little, Age Regression, etc. has me quite worried. The biggest issue at play is how many of my friends have either left FA or have been banned from the site.

I've seen how many of those I follow are moving to other sites to continue their creative efforts. However, being 100% blind, makes this difficult for me to do so since a lot of sites, like 'Deviant Art' and 'Ink Bunny' are very difficult to navigate using non-visual tools.

'Babyfur.me' claims to have "Accessibility", but I don't see many of my friends flocking to the site. As it would take me a long time to figure out, if it is even possible to do so, a different site for sharing and discussing creative content, I am looking for advice on where may be best for me to take the time to attempt to learn how to interact with everyone outside of Fur Affinity'?

***

Everything I have done here over the past 16 years has never been meant to be anything more than finding a way to better accept, understand, and empower myself within a community of people who share similar interests. First impressions may make some believe some of my work is illicit, but that has never been my intention. Yosh, my OC, has always been a character designed to represent my adult self trying to better understand why I like diapers and cute, diapered cartoon animals. My ex-wife shamed me for sharing this interest and I struggled to feel at peace with myself as, for as far back as I can remember, diapers and diapered, cartoon animals have always been a point of interest. I never asked, nor wanted, to be this way. I'm even more sure that others never just woke up one day and said, "I want to do things that make people think I'm scum!". Nobody wants to feel they are too weird, taboo, etc. to deserve acceptance, understanding, empowerment, and a sense of community with others. The bans, sadly, only make those who struggle with who and what they are harder for individuals who, without doing harm to themselves and/or others, are just trying to better figure out why they are the way that they are while seeing how they are worthy of being loved and appreciated.

***

If anyone has any good ideas as to where I would best try to create a new account, please let me know. I don't want to lose contact with any of my friends and I definitely don't want to miss out on making new ones.


Your Pal,

---Yosh E. O'Ducky ;)

hOI!!!!!!

This is an idea that I've been working on with my son for a number of years now. So, for fun, I'm trying to write a bit of it to see what everyone may think of it.

---

Cryos Elektra is a most foreboding place. The average surface temperature is below -100 Celsius with -80 Celsius being as warm as it ever gets at its equator.

Yet I am here. If it wasn’t for hearing that Galactic Federation distress call. If it wasn’t for it being my former colleague, Anthony, being the one seeking aid while talking about a threat that should not exist. A threat that I personally made sure did not exist.

Thankfully, the Varia augmentation of my suit allows me to survive in such extreme environments. However, as has been my curse for so many of my other missions, I am incapable of utilizing my full arsenal and abilities due to just how Cryos Elektra is not only located so far away from its star, but it also has a very strong, magnetic field that requires much of my available energy in order to keep my power suit from malfunctioning.

This all doesn’t matter. I have proven that I don’t even need my power suit to deal with the likes of space pirates, bounty hunters, and monsters that still haunt my nightmares to this day. What does matter is how Cryos Elektra has no breathable atmosphere and the outside temperature would flash-freeze me if I were to not be protected by this great gift that the Chozo have given me. I was their “Hatchling”, raised as one of their own, trained in the ways of their warriors, and set out for the stars in search of my destiny.

The distress beacon that Anthony sent is very close to where I landed my ship. Though, to my surprise, there appears to be a structure of some kind that I can see just a short distance away in the opposite direction. There was never any mention of any colony, or even research facility, mentioned when I did my research on Cryos Elektra prior to setting down upon its frozen surface. Could this be another of the Federation’s secret research labs? It really wouldn’t surprise me after what I discovered on The Bottle Ship, or on The BSL Research Facility. Could the Federation, yet again, be trying to cultivate those creatures in which I was contracted to destroy?

I suppose that I should stop asking questions and just go get answers from Anthony before anyone else arrives on the planet. Whatever is in that structure will just have to wait until I verify the safety of my old friend and his crew.

---

Your Pal:

---Yosh E. O'Ducky ;)

hOI!!!!!!!

I’m officially feeling ‘Writer’s Block’. I feel inspired to write, but I have no clue what to write about.

Anybody got any advice? Should I go rework some of my previous stories? Perhaps I should open up commissions to seize upon my inspiration while I attempt to think of something worthwhile to write about?

Thank you for your time and any suggestions you may have.


Your Pal,

---Yosh E. O’Ducky ;)

hOI!!!!!!

I’ve lately felt like a lame duck. So, to help regain my spirits, I decided to try and see if I could figure out how to, through use of my screen-reading software, upload videos to YouTube…

…And I was successful!

---

MR. NUTHATCH’S THERAPY JOURNEY:
https://youtube.com/playlist?list=P.....C-KA2CHHpLOc5T

---

Part of my hopes with creating a ‘Patreon’ was to show how a very influential / inspirational show I discovered, Birdz features a character who goes through the process of improving their mental health and well-being through seeing a therapist / psychiatrist. My son, Peep, helped me to get clips of the show off of YouTube to use towards this goal, but I never felt I could upload these videos on my own given the limitations of being 100% blind and using a video-based platform. However, despite missing a few things, I feel I succeeded in making this goal.

***

If you have time to check out the playlist, which I linked above, I would love to hear your thoughts on Mr. Nuthatch’s Therapy Journey. I am also interested in seeing if anyone would be interested in me creating videos of myself discussing Mr. Nuthatch’s therapy sessions with Dr. Storkowitz and how they played a relatable part in my journey towards my mental health.

***

Other ideas I have, which I plan to do until I can come up with some good story ideas, is go through my Gallery to better organize the content that I’ve uploaded here over the past 16 years. Hopefully this will make what I’ve worked so hard on over all this time more enjoyable to visit by those who may feel a bit intimidated by my over 1,200 posts.

***

I’m really just trying to find more ways to interact with everyone while making new friends. If you have any ideas for stories, or things I should try to do to get more involved with the community, please let me know.


Your Pal,

---Yosh E. O’Ducky ;)

Hamha,

I’d like to begin by apologizing to everyone who has kindly supported me over on Patreon. I had so many great ideas for things to share and offer in exchange for your support, but I just cannot do them all on my own… yet.

Since I am not able to share unique content in exchange for your patronage, I am putting my Patreon on hiatus. My hope is to, after resolving the issue with the state of my house with The Seeing Eye, to try and teach myself how to successfully post to Patreon and YouTube with as little help from anyone as is possible. I do not know if I will be able to work Patreon, YouTube, or other relevant sites for the ideas I have to earn your financial support, but I do plan to try my best to offer a unique experience that continues what was started with Coping With Limitations Through Pony while creating interesting art and stories with Lucca and giving an insightful look on what life is like when you go from having some eyesight to none at all.

Again, I thank you all for your support. I look forward to catching up on all the real life stuff I need to do in order to get my next Seeing Eye Dog, returning home, familiarizing the dog with the routes I travel, and then doing all I can to restart the Patreon by finding the most accessible ways to share what I want to share without as much reliance on other people to make it possible.


Your Pal,


---Yosh E. O’Ducky ;)[/b][/i]

Hamha:

First, and foremost, I have to share that I did not get my new Seeing Eye Dog. Instead, I was brought all the way to Morristown, NJ to be told that the lady who picked me up to attend the school to get my new dog felt I was not fit to have a new one at this time. This resulted in me being driven home less than 24 hours after I had arrived at The Seeing Eye.

Why did she say I was unfit to get a new Seeing Eye Dog? It was a result of allowing her into my house to use the bathroom. In her, at most, 5 minutes of time, she determined the condition of my home to be too cluttered for the new Seeing Eye Dog to safely live within it. She further felt I was not taking proper care of my current Seeing Eye Dog, which is a statement that hurt me more than her review of the home Lucca and I share. Uri / Buddy and I have been a solid team for nearly 7 years. I have more than kept up on his vet visits and pay over $60 per month for his insurance. We have walked many miles together over the years and, despite what she may believe, he is in great shape and at the perfect weight for a dog of his size. (They say if you can feel the ribs of your dog when pushing lightly on their side that they are a healthy weight. His working harness also does not squeeze him tightly around the barrel of his body.).

As a result of the unfair review by the individual who thought it best to drive me all the way to Morristown before sharing her concerns, I have suffered a huge blow to my self-confidence. Though it has also put Lucca and I in a very tough situation of trying to figure out just what and how much we have to do to improve the house so that I can, potentially, be considered for the October class at The Seeing Eye. (No particular recommendations were given as to what needed done. The only thing that was shared were vague statements about reducing clutter and having Uri / Buddy lose weight.).

I was supposed to be away at class getting my new dog from Monday, July 22nd through Thursday, August 8th. Instead, I have been home since Tuesday, July 23rd working the best I can with Lucca to make as many updates to our house as our limited resources allow us to. We are making steady-and-slow progress, but feel we need to do quite a bit more work before calling The Seeing Eye to have one of their instructors drive back down to give it a look over to verify I can be eligible for the October, or November, class. (These two classes are the earliest I could get into if everything works out when the house gets, I hope, a thorough review instead of a 5 minute quick glance.).

Wish Lucca and I luck as we do all we can to show how everything is perfect for welcoming in a new Seeing Eye Dog while proving how Uri / Buddy has been, and always will be, cared for as best as can possibly be.


Your Pal,

---Yosh E. O’Ducky ;)

hOI!!!!!!

Back in October 2017, I headed off to Morristown, NJ to get my very first Seeing Eye Dog. It was here that I spent the next four weeks living and learning how to best work with my dog, Uri / Buddy, before returning home to see just how well a service dog worked compared to a White Cane.

I was nervous to put my trust in Uri for my travels about town, but I soon began to realize that he really did know how to navigate around obstacles while being very safe when it came to making all sorts of street crossings. It wasn’t long before I couldn’t ever think of going anywhere without him.

Now, nearly seven years later, Uri / Buddy is ready to retire from being my sighted guide to all those places I would ever want to go that are within walking distance. The trainers at The Seeing Eye informed me that the dog will let you know when he is ready to retire and Uri / Buddy is just not all that excited about going on adventures like he used to be.


Earlier this year, I began to notice the signs of Uri / Buddy getting ready to retire. It started around his eighth birthday and has only become more obvious by the day. Knowing it could be a long time before I would be able to get back in to get a second Seeing Eye Dog, I called the school, explained Uri’s / Buddy’s status, and was invited to apply for my second Seeing Eye Dog.

Flash forward to this past Tuesday, July 9th, and I got a most surprising call from the manager of admissions at The Seeing Eye. The wait for getting a service dog to take over for Uri’s / Buddy’s duties was already over! Not only that, but I was asked to return to the school in Morristown, NJ on Monday, July 22nd to begin work with one of two possible dogs who will be best able to keep up with all the walking I like to do on a regular basis!


Needless to say, I’ve been scrambling to get paperwork together so that I can successfully attend the, for returning students, three week session to acclimate myself to the new dog. Upon my return, which is approxated as being Thursday, August 8th, Uri / Buddy will be 100% retired and, hopefully, happy to have a new friend to play with who is far more excited about going out for a long walk than he has become after nearly seven years of service.

I’m quite nervous to be gone from home for such a long period of time, but it is necessary if I want to continue using a Seeing Eye Dog instead of a White Cane. Personally, I can tell you all that having a Seeing Eye Dog is extremely liberating compared to using White Cane techniques to go from place-to-place. I also can say that people are more likely to talk to me / acknowledge my presence with a Seeing Eye Dog than they ever were when I’d travel with the White Cane.

***


Thank you all for your support and for all the amazing times we’ve shared since the last time I attended school at The Seeing Eye. It amazes me how much has happened over the time in which Uri / Buddy and I began our journey together. I look forward to sharing even more good times as I journey off for my new, canine companion and start working towards acclimating him to where I live as much as I have acclimated Uri / Buddy to the area. These dogs are truly amazing and seeing mine ready to retire is sad, but I am very grateful for everyone who supports The Seeing Eye to allow those, like myself, to acquire such an invaluable aid / friend.


Your Pal,

---Yosh E. O’Ducky ;)

hOI!!!!!

Ever since getting put on Abilify, which is a medication that helps in coping with anxiety and depression, I have noticed that I have a lot more energy and positivity. However, I also seem to have more doubts about myself, my abilities, and my goals.

***

The biggest thought that troubles me is how I don’t feel my writing is really all that worth doing. I don’t plan to stop writing, but I feel I need to rethink what sort of content I put my time and effort into.

Other thoughts that plague me are whether-or-not I am a good friend to those who are my friends? Do I do enough to be there for those who wish to share their time with me? Do I truly show everyone just how much I appreciate them and their time?

The final thoughts are mostly money related. I know I need to make more of it to offset the 3 home repair loans that Lucca and I now will be paying off for the next decade. I know we can cut back on a few things, but we’ve already cut back on a lot of things and, as most should agree, you need to find opportunity to do something meaningful for yourself in order to not feel overwhelmed by life’s responsibilities. Just yesterday, I purchased a Pokemon T-Shirt that features Pikachu & Flamigo and feel bad that I did so. Did I need a shirt, yes. Should I have made it a Pokemon shirt, well, I feel less sure for how I feel I need to be responsible while not feeling guilty for doing things that help make all that responsibility and sacrifice worthwhile.

***

Expanding more on the money part, I have started to look for work again. Unfortunately, I haven’t been hearing back about the opportunity to work at the local YMCA that I applied for. The ‘Career Counselor’ and I have both reached out to explain how I can do the job if the right tools are available and compatible with their software systems. However, I do not know if this will work out and I really worry about, even if it does work out, how long it will take for a software upgrade to force me out of the job. I know I shouldn’t worry so much about how long I will be able to hold the job as much as I would be able to get back to work and earn some muns to help with our home expenses, but it still scares me to think how technology has always been my downfall to success where it should be what allows me to succeed.

I haven’t heard of any other job opportunities that go best with my skillset and how easily I can get to-and-from work. I do plan to see if I can identify possible other opportunities to reenter the workforce, but knowing I have to get the company to take the time to make sure I would have a job at the end of the hiring process is both frustrating and demoralizing.

***

On a positive note, my sister and I are getting along again! Winry has been a lot nicer and has told me that she was largely grumpy towards me as a result of how things were for her during and after her pregnancy. (It is hard to believe Owlbert is almost a year old now..).

What I think I should do is see if I can find a way to talk to my therapist again. I love all the energy and positivity I have been feeling, but these anxiety-inducing butterflies in my stomach are driving me nuts and making me doubt parts of myself that I know I shouldn’t be putting so much extra thought into.

***

That’s it for now. I thank you for reading this and will gladly take any questions, comments, or other thoughts you may have to offer. Perhaps there is something that you have noticed about me that I need to do better with and/or consider to feel less anxious about who and what I am? No matter what, I always feel better after writing these journals and hope that you all know I am here as much as is possible to be a good friend and creative colleague.


Your Pal,

---Yosh E. O’Ducky ;)

Hamha!

It makes me so happy to share that I have just about caught up on all those submissions I missed out on while battling with depression. I had no idea over three years worth of art and stories had been buried beneath sadness that I had not been able to properly manage. It feels amazing to have been able to check out all I missed, commented on what I could, and added new favorites for others to find within my favorites folder.

Along the same lines, I want to thank everyone for supporting my Inspirational, Yet Unseen, Art postings that I have done over on 'Twitter / Cap X' along with on 'Patreon'. The series will continue as a way to spotlight work that has influenced me through the author's presentation and subject matter, but was largely used to help show love to those whose works I failed to see for so long.

***

If you are a part of 'Twitter / Cap X', you can look me up at yosheoducky. I mostly share what I put up on 'Patreon' along with the posts done by friends along with retweets of birdwatching photos and videos.

If you'd like to help Lucca and I out by supporting our work and ideas, you can do so for a small, monthly donation at the following link.
https://www.patreon.com/LuccaYoshArtTherapy

***

Other news is that, despite feeling I never could do so again, I am attempting to find a job where I can succeed despite my lack of physical eyesight! I have already found one lead and, through the aid of someone at PA Career Link who checks to see if the employer is committed to 'Universal Design / Diverse Workforce', I am seeing if it may be possible to be employed again.

***

That's it for now. Thank you all for your kindness, patience, and caring support. I couldn't have gotten to a better place within my mind without you.


Your Pal,

---Yosh E. O'Ducky ;)

hOI!!!!!

I’d like to start by thanking everyone for all of your support. I’m FINALLY getting to submissions that, to my disbelief, I had not gotten to in over 3 years! I had no idea how much I allowed my depression to freeze my ability to communicate and show appreciation to my friends. Please forgive me while knowing that, thanks to my new medication, it takes a lot more to get me to where I give in to the awfulness of depression making me disconnect from the world.

***

I also would like to thank everyone who has made a monthly donation to our Patreon page. Even the smallest of amounts has helped us to keep up with the cost of maintaining our home.

Right now, a majority of what I’m posting to Patreon, as it is taking longer than we thought to get to Subscribe Star and Kofi, is free to all to see. However, I am open to suggestions on what you’d want to see for paying more than the minimum. Perhaps some “TRULY BLIND GAME REVIEWS” and/or “TRULY BLIND SHOW / MOVIE REVIEWS”? Maybe you’d like to have an “ASK BOX” where I can answer questions you have in a video-based format?

Should you wish to check out our Patreon, you can do so at...

https://www.patreon.com/LuccaYoshArtTherapy

More on our mission to get established on Kofi and Subscribe Star coming as soon as Lucca can better narrow down all that is needed to put up relevant content for your enjoyment.

***

While working on stories, I have been finding inspiration through the creation of the INSPIRATIONAL, YET UNSEEN, ART concept I’ve been sharing with everyone on Twitter and Patreon. This series takes four images from a given artist, or artists, and links them back to their creator for people to discover art and/or stories that have gotten my imagination to see / experience what I never got to see with my own eyes. It is my hope that this series shows just how powerful the words, [ALT TEXT], and ways in which you communicate with others brings creative content to life without one needing any physical eyesight to enjoy it.

Want to follow me over on Twitter? You can do so yosheoducky.

***

This seems like a good place to leave off for tonight. Overall, I am happy to be on a good medication regiment that allows me to do more than just feel sad over not being able to do all those visual things that exist in our world today. Some days are easier than others, but all your support and encouragement has gone a long way. I look forward to continuing to push past the sadness to bring myself joy while sharing positivity through any and all conversations we may have.


Your Pal,

---Yosh E. O’Ducky ;)

hOI!!!!

It's been a while since I shared information on the video game style story, Further Realms - Creative Campaign: Cosmic Crisis. So, at long last, I give the Alpha Version of the types of {Rooms} a player would encounter while playing through the game and its story.

---

TYPES OF ROOMS:

“FRCC: Cosmic Crisis” uses an overhead / bird’s eye view of a randomly generated sequence of {Rooms} that is determined by the [Routes] a player decides to go through during the completion of a Run.

The following is a list of the types of {Rooms} a player will find and how these {Rooms} become available for a player to access during a Run.

{START ROOM}
All [Paths] begin in this {Room}. The {Start Room} itself is based on the [Path] the player has chosen to start their Run.
 Nishidor’s Realm
 Thanksalot’s Realm
 Owlnard’s Outpost
 Cthulhu’s Realm

{Storage Room}
This {Room} will always appear to the ‘left’ of the {Start Room}.
 Contains a Storage Box that allows the player to equip Consumable Items that they had stored in a Storage Box they visited during the completion of a Run.
 Features an ATM Machine that allows the player to withdraw CHIRPs that they had placed in an ATM Machine they had visited during the completion of a Run.
 There is a Wardrobe where the player can access different costumes for their character to wear in which they have unlocked through the completion of Runs.
 A Cabinet will be accessible for the player to equip Projectile Attack and Melee Attack weapons they have unlocked through the completion of Runs.

{NORMAL ROOM}”
Most {Rooms} fall under this category. The number of Exits in each {Normal Room} will be dependant on the randomly-generated map of the current Region of the player’s chosen Path to complete their Run.

{Mini Boss Room}
The {Mini Boss Room} will contain a randomly generated ‘Mini Boss’ in which the player must defeat in order to unlock all the Sealed Doors. There can be more than one {Mini Boss Room} on a given map that the player is actively completing during their Run. Mini bosses will be discussed later in this document.

{Boss Room}
The player will encounter the given boss monster for the map they are currently completing as part of their Run. The boss monster must be defeated in order to unlock all the Sealed Doors upon entering into the {Boss Room}.

{Shop Rooms}
Each map on a given Path towards completing a Run can have one, or more, of the following {Shop Rooms}…
 Goatella’s Shop
o What a player can acquire in exchange for collected CHIRPs will be discussed later in this document.
 Macaroni’s Shop
o What a player can acquire in exchange for collected CHIRPs will be discussed later in this document.
o
 Lesbuni’s Shop
o What a player can acquire in exchange for collected CHIRPs will be discussed later in this document.

 Kiwi’s Shop
o What a player can acquire in exchange for collected CHIRPs will be discussed later in this document.

{Secret Room}
A {Secret Room} is accessed through using an Explosive Charge on a Secret Door. They can be one of the following…
 Aro’s Archeology
o An item will be available atop a pedestal in the middle of the {Room} in which has a rarity value of four, or greater.
 Dawn’s Dive
o The player will be able to choose one of the following…
 Return to the beginning of the Run with all the CHIRPs, Consumable Items, Buffs, and other items they have collected over the course of the current Run.
 Taken to the next Region within the given Run the player is advancing through.
• If a Path is not unlocked yet by the player, Dawn’s Dive will not make it a choice to be advanced to.
 Faux’s Shop
o What a player can acquire in exchange for collected CHIRPs will be discussed later in this document.
o Stan’s Shop
o What a player can acquire in exchange for collected CHIRPs will be discussed later in this document.
 Casino Celeste
o Various games of chance can be played here in exchange for CHIRPs.
 The ATM will be accessible in this {Room}
o What a player can acquire in exchange for collected CHIRPs will be discussed later in this document.

{Endurance Room}
The {Endurance Room} will feature a random assortment of enemies associated with the given map the player is on in their current Run. Defeating all the enemies will unlock all Sealed Doors while an item of rarity value no greater than three will appear at the room’s center.

{Hospital Room}
The {Hospital Room} is where the character, Anomolly , will restore up to three hearts without any cost.
 A player may CHIRPs for the following…
o All hearts restored to their maximum health value
o Completely filling your Recovery Meter
o Strength Buffs
o Defense Buffs

{Exit Room}
The {Exit Room} will take the player to the next map of a given Run.
 Always found connected to only the {Boss Room}
 Has an ATM
 Has a Storage Box
 Has a {Hospital Room} connected to it
 Has a {Rune Room}, or {Library Room} connected to it

{Rune Room}
The {Rune Room} is where a player may use the runes they have acquired during a run to perform a Level 1, Level 2, or Level 3 spell
 Runes will be discussed later in this document.
 Requires the player to have acquired a Spell Book from a {Library Room} in order to cast a spell

{Library Room}
The {Library Room} features the character, Phoebe Vogelsong. She will offer the player a free Spell Book
 Spell Books remain in the player’s inventory if they are able to finish a Run
 The types of Spell Books will be discussed later in this document.

---

Thanks for giving this a look over. Once I share the master document with my son, I will try to work towards making the full document available on our Patreon for anyone who is interested in reading through the whole thing as it is developed. (The story and game concept are also meant to be accessible to anyone to freely use if they should desire to make the game, or a game based upon the documentation itself.).


Your Pal,

---Yosh E. O'Ducky

hOI!!!!!!

https://www.patreon.com/LuccaYoshArtTherapy

So far, I have yet to create particular categories as to the type of content you’ll find on our Patreon page. This update is to fix that oopsie by letting you know what you can expect going forward.

TALES OF UNSEEN ART:
Tales based upon digital and traditional artwork that, with permission, I write short stories to show how the Mind’s Eye of a Blind Guy can use what I know about the artist, the artist’s characters, and artist’s interests to bring the image to life through my talents as an author.

INSPIRATIONAL, YET UNSEEN, ART:
This series highlights those creative submissions that I have found inspiring, but did not write a story for. It is meant to highlight those who have been supportive towards making their art accessible to those with limited, or no, eyesight through the use of [ALT TEXT] and/or [VISUAL DESCRIPTIONS] within the works they post.

CREATIVE CAMPAIGN: COSMIC CRISIS:
Join me in making a story built upon concepts and ideologies utilized during the software development process. Creative Campaign has always been about finding new ways to tell a story and ‘Cosmic Crisis’ is no different.

METROID – PEEP:
A long-awaited fan fiction based upon Nintendo’s ‘Metroid’ franchise. I currently do not have enough fleshed out about it to share much more than how this project is one I am very committed to completing. Look for posts regarding this Yosh-E-O and Peep inspired entry in Samus Aran’s ongoing effort to ensure the galaxy is safe from the Space Pirates and the parasitic Metroids.

MIND’S EYE MUSIC:
Music that I’ve used to write stories, build inspiration, etc. Sound is a blind person’s greatest strength and I want to show you how the imagination can flourish with the right melodies playing outside, or inside, your head.

THERAPY WITH MR. NUTHATCH:
Clips of Mr. Nuthatch from the 1998 animated series, ‘Birdz’ that I have used to self-motivate, self-improve, and build upon the foundation of mental health tips-and-tricks I’ve acquired before and after I lost the rest of my eyesight. My personal interpretations will be included with the hope that you, too, can use various forms of media to help in your journey towards improving your self-esteem and self-worth.

There will be other categories, along with individual posts that do not fall under a given category. Lucca and I just wanted to find a way to show you all what you are helping to support through your monthly donations. If you have any ideas for something Lucca and/or I can do to make our Patreon / Subscribe Star more interesting, please let us know.

SUPPORT OUR EFFORTS AT:
https://www.patreon.com/LuccaYoshArtTherapy


Your Pal,

---Yosh E. O’Ducky

Hamha,

I learned that those lovable, virtual pets who got me through all the trials and tribulations of completing my Masters Degree / Graduate Studies are becoming super-popular again. This lead me to discover that the sets of Neopets I had put together between 2005 and 2008 have become quite valuable. Knowing that I need to get ahead of bills / debts as Lucca and I do more to make our Patreon / Subscribe Star worth investing in, I have decided to sell more than half of my collection.

WHY THIS IS A BIG DEAL TO ME:
As I mentioned above, Neopets was the best way for me to enjoy gaming while in the thick of completing projects and homework while keeping my grades well within the required 3.0 / B average needed to graduate with my MBA. (If I had brought my GCN to my college apartment, I doubt I would have been able to have kept as focused as I did. Especially when Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door came out.).

Neopets was the first time I ever played a game that was, to me, only limited to what I could imagine to be my goals. For example, after creating my Green Scorchio, Caldma, I spent a year earning enough Neopoints to buy the Baby Paint Brush to color Caldma into a Baby Scorchio. I also adopted a Red Zafara, Jar_Zar, who I just had to earn and use the Royal Paint Brush on. (The original design for the Royal Girl Zafara was too cute!).

Along with making up fun adventures for Caldma and Zarra, I delighted in participating in the events that Neopets had on their site to support the releases of each set expansion of the Neopets TCG. I was confused on how to be a part of 'Battle For Meridell' and 'Hanna & The Ice Caves', but did make quite a splash during the events of 'Curse of Maraqua. (I even earned the exclusive sidebar theme that, if anyone logged into my Neopets account, would still be proudly displaying this aquatic sidebar / user interface in which features heroes and villains from the card set and in-game story.).

---

WHY IT IS HARD TO LET GO:
Those adorable, virtual pets helped me to rekindle my passion for the creative arts during a time that I was really struggling to have any part of beyond being an observer. I practiced to draw Scorchios and Zafaras and, just before the first major eye disaster in Fall 2006, submitted a story that won me first place in a Neopets story writing contest. (Some of you know it as Zarra's Great Adventure.).

Some of the first toys I ever shared with my son were Neopets plushies. The talking Scorchio and Shoyru were most notable. I also, before my son was born, drew conceptual art of him as a Baby Scorchio.

I also made some great friends through Neopets. Most notably,  therainbowtroll. Doodle Noodle and I would go on to work together for over five years in being an active part of 'BronyCon' through Coping with Limitations Through Pony.

Truly, without Neopets, I would have given up on ever being any kind of writer of any kind of story. although my diminishing eyesight made playing Neopets next to impossible, it got me to where I joined FA and made great friends who kept my creative spirits alive.

---

FUN FACTS:
My first FA User Icon was King Roo from Neopets!

My User Name, Yosh-E-O, was derived from a book you could buy and read to your Neopets. This being "Scorch E O".

My first Baby Fur / Little stories I shared and wrote on FA were based after the adventures of Baby Caldma, Princess Zarra, and her Christmas friend, Deathblade Darkfire (DB).

---

Selling the cards was hard, but the right choice given how I'll never be able to enjoy them from a visual perspective ever again. I always feel better knowing that something I once enjoyed can go on to give someone else happiness. I may no longer have most of my phyiscal cards, but the memories of my time and inspiration from Neopets will be with me forever-and-ever.


Your Pal,

---Yosh E. O'Ducky ;)

Hamha,

Lucca and I continue to find more-and-more ways to stretch a dollar, but some bills just come at the worst possible times. In this case, it's the gas bill. :(

***

Given how my new medicine has made my productivity and creativity shoot through the roof, I can promise anyone who commissions me for a story that the turnaround time will be super-ultra-mega quick. Story commissions are, typically, around 2,000 words and $40 USD. All I need is your idea, who you want in it, some important details to best share the characters and their activities, and an optional link to an image / picture you'd like to go with the story. (I have a default for Yosh's Little Tales if you don't want / need a specific image to go with your story.).

To commission a story...

1: Send me a DM with all the details on the type of story you'd like written. (I can write just about anything, but do best with cute-and-cuddly stories of childhood innocence with loads of love and friendship.).

2: Send your $40 USD payment to my PayPal at palumbo.ms[at]gmail.com

3: Upon receiving your payment, I will verify it has been received and will add you to my commission queue. (4 spots are open).

***

I'm still in the process of getting some of my Neopets TCG card sets up on eBay / Etsy. I expect to sell them based on how I am willing to part with the ones I'm selling at a price that is notably lower than they are being priced and are selling for. (I'd rather make sure my bills are paid than be fussy over not getting loads of muns for cards that, ideally, I want to go to someone who can appreciate the beautiful art that my lack of eyesight prevents me from doing.).

If you are interested in purchasing a set of Neopets TCG cards, I'm looking for $200, which includes shipping, a binder, and all cards in 9-Pocket, Ultra Pro pages. I'm also willing to take a 'Best Offer' given my immediate need for money to pay the $150 gas bill.

The sets I'm selling are...

---

RETURN OF DR. SLOTH:
Intending to be tied into an online plot, this set was released in 2004 & the online tie-in was delayed until early 2008 due to workload.[2] This set totaled 100 cards. This expansion's theme was space, providing players with futuristic and robotic items and equipment. Six new Neopet species made their debut in this expansion (Basic Type: Cybunny, Grundo, Jetsam, Jubjub, and Kougra).
https://www.ccgtrader.net/games/neo.....n-of-dr-sloth/

MYSTERY ISLAND:
Based upon a tropical island locale, this 100-card expansion provided no new card types, but did introduce four new Neopet species, including the Pteri and Techo (other Basic Type: Krawk and Peophin). The related plot was the Secret of the Volcano mystery plot in Fall 2003, but the plot and the expansion were not released together.
https://www.ccgtrader.net/games/neo.....ystery-island/

LOST DESERT:
This 100-card expansion took players to the shifting sands of the Lost Desert. Basic Neopets released in this expansion are the Ruki, the Kau, and the Tonu. Site-wise, there was a plot and war revolving around this expansion.
https://www.ccgtrader.net/games/neo.....g/lost-desert/

HAUNTED WOODS:
The final expansion, featuring 100 cards with a spooky theme. Cards are related to ghosts, werewolves, and zombies, among others. This deck is associated with the plot, Tale of Woe; where a village has fallen under a curse, and only the Neopets can determine what happened to the townsfolk. There are no new Basic Type cards, although they did fill out the basic 4 colors for the Lenny and Tonu. Special color versions are included for Acara, Aisha, Cybunny, and Korbat. As with previous recent releases, this release appears to be been done with a minimum amount of publicity. This is the last expansion produced by Wizards of the Coast.
https://www.ccgtrader.net/games/neo.....haunted-woods/

---

This need for money wouldn't even exist if my tax return, being based on taxes I pay as part of the home mortgage, will not be sent to me until July, or August. :(

Thank you for your time and any consideration and/or sharing of what I can do to earn what I need to pay this accursed gas bill.


Your Pal,

---Yosh E. O'Ducky ;)

hOI!!!!!

It's taken me a long time, but I have finally gotten to start writing the Story / Use Case for Further Realms: Cosmic Crisis!

FRCC: Cosmic Crisis follows in the tradition of previous works in the series by being written in a fairly non-traditional way. In this case, it is inspired by the documents I once worked on while I was employed as a 'Business Analyst'.

This project, formerly referred to as The Binding of Madison for its inspiration being drawn from the dungeon-crawler, 'The Binding of Isaac', will be far more silly than scary. It is also going to be Open Source Content to anyone who may feel inspired to make this game into a reality.

So, without further adieu, here is the control setup for FRCC: Cosmic Crisis! I hope you enjoy this project that, between my son and I, has taken over 8 years to truly see the light of day.

---

STANDARD CONTROLLER SETUP:

The following is how a player will interact with FRCC: Cosmic Crisis. (Please note how the layout of buttons is based upon the layout of those found on the Nintendo 3DS. These controls, their positions on the controller itself, and labelling / identification for each button may be changed to best interact with the hardware in which FRCC: Cosmic Crisis is developed for.).

ANALOG STICK / THUMB PAD:
Moves the player’s in-game character in the chosen direction that is away from the central / calibrated position. The speed and manner in which the selected character will move is dependant on how far away from the central / calibrated point the player is pressing upon the [ANALOG STICK / THUMB PAD].

DIRECTIONAL ARROW – UP:
Uses the [ACTIVE] Consumable Item. (The player’s chosen character at the start of completing a ‘Run’ determines how many, if any, Consumable Items that the player can carry upon starting their ‘Run’.).

DIRECTIONAL ARROW – DOWN:
Drops the Consumable Item the player has set to [ACTIVE]
 Dropped Consumable Items can be retrieved and set to either [ACTIVE], or [INACTIVE] given the player can retrieve the Consumable Item they chose to drop within five seconds. Failure to retrieve the dropped Consumable Item will result in the dropped Consumable Item being removed from play.
 Retrieved Consumable Items that have been dropped are set to [ACTIVE] with the number of uses of the Consumable Item being equal to what they were when the player had chosen to drop the Consumable Item.

DIRECTIONAL ARROW – LEFT:
Sets the current Consumable Item from [ACTIVE] to [PASSIVE]. The [PASSIVE] Consumable Item that was displayed now becomes set to [ACTIVE]. (The player’s chosen character at the start of completing a ‘Run’ determines how many, if any, Consumable Items that the player can carry upon starting their ‘Run’.).

DIRECTIONAL ARROW – RIGHT:
Sets the current Consumable Item from [ACTIVE] to [PASSIVE]. The right PASSIVE] Consumable Item that was displayed now becomes set to [ACTIVE]. (The player’s chosen character at the start of completing a ‘Run’ determines how many, if any, Consumable Items that the player can carry upon starting their ‘Run’.).

ACTION BUTTON – Y:
Pressing this button will activate the player’s chosen character’s Projectile Attack. (The Projectile Attack of each character will be discussed further in this document.).

ACTION BUTTON – B:
Pressing this button will do one of three actions based on the character the player is using for their ‘Run’ and/or {AUGMENTATIONS} the player has acquired for their chosen character during a given ‘Run’. (NOTE: Certain {AUGMENTATIONS} can only be used by a specific character. Picking up {AUGMENTATIONS} that is not compatible with the chosen character will result in adding a value of five to the player’s current total of CHIRPS. CHIRPs will be discussed later in this document.).
 Jump – (Height and speed of the jump vary based upon the character that was selected by the player prior to starting their ‘Run’.).
 Double Jump – (The player’s chosen character for the ‘Run’ executes another jump while they are still in the process of completing a jump action. Some chosen characters start with this ability while others have to acquire {AUGMENTATIONS} before this action can be executed during the completion of a ‘Run’. NOTE: {AUGMENTATIONS} can allow a player’s chosen character to earn the ability to execute more than three consecutive jumps before returning to Solid Ground on the [CURRENT REGION] the player’s chosen character is currently active within.).
 FLY – (Press and hold the “Action Button – B:” to allow the player’s chosen character, if applicable, to remain above Solid Ground until “Action Button – B:” is activated by the player, or an in-game action causes the player’s chosen character to return to Solid Ground in the [CURRENT REGION]. NOTE: Only specific characters are compatible with {AUGMENTATIONS} that grant the Fly ability. These will be discussed later in this document.).

ACTION BUTTON – A:
Pressing this button will use the player’s chosen character’s +RECOVERY+ ability. This action works as follows…
 Applicable characters restore a number of hearts equal to the displayed Skill Value. (A Skill Value of “1” restores up to a single heart value. The Skill Value of the player’s selected character for the ‘Run’ has a default value assigned to each individual character in the game. Skill Value can be increased, or decreased, through {BUFFS} and {DEBUFFS} found throughout the completion of a ‘Run’.).
 +RECOVERY+ can only be used when the “Recovery Meter” is at 100%. (The speed in which the “Recovery Meter” recharges is based upon the player’s chosen character, {AUGMENTATIONS}, and {BUFFS} & {DEBUFFS} acquired during the completion of a ‘Run’.).
 Use of +RECOVERY+ will reduce the “recovy Meter” to 0%. (NOTE: There are enemies, events, and hazards that can increase, decrease, or nullify the rate in which the “Recovery Meter” is replenished.).

ACTION BUTTON – X:
Pressing this button will activate the player’s chosen character’s Melee Attack. (The Melee Attack of each character will be discussed further in this document.).

ACTION BUTTON – L:
Pressing this button will set an Explosive Charge directly in front of the player’s chosen character. (Explosive Charges detonate after one second of in-game time in which the game is not paused. Explosive Charges are all capable of opening secret passages, removing obstacles that may prevent the player’s character access to parts of a [CURRENT REGION], [PAST REGION], and/or [FUTURE REGION], and eliminate enemies that cannot be eliminated through use of the player’s chosen character’s Projectile Attack and/or Melee Attack. The size and amount of damage an Explosive Charge does is based upon the player’s chosen character along with acquired {AUGMENTATIONS} and {BUFFS} & {DEBUFFS} acquired throughout the ‘Run’ the player is actively completing.).

ACTION BUTTON – R:
Pressing this button will activate the player’s chosen character’s “Super-Ultra-Mega Attack”. (The “Super-Ultra-Mega Attack works much like +RECOVERY+ in how it requires its meter, SMU Meter, to reach 100% before it can be activated. Each character has their own “Super-Ultra-Mega Attack”, which will be discussed in detail later in this document. The “Super-Ultra-Mega Attack” has a range and attack value based upon the player’s chosen character along with {AUGMENTATIONS} and {BUFFS} & {DEBUFFS} the player acquires during the completion of a ‘Run’.).

START BUTTON:
Pressing this button will pause the game during a ‘Run’. (A screen capture of the current ‘Run’ in progress will be displayed on the upper-left corner of the Pause Screen with the remainder of the Pause Screen displaying the player’s current amount of Health, CHIRPs, SMU Meter percentage, Recovery Meter percentage, [ACTIVE] & [PASSIVE] Consumable Items with how the number of uses remaining for each Consumable Item the player has acquired during their ‘Run’, Projectile Attack value with applicable {BUFFS} & {DEBUFFS} values included , Melee Attack value with applicable {BUFFS} & {DEBUFFS} values included, a map of the [CURRENT REGION] the player is at the time of pausing the game, and selectable choices to Resume Run, Save Current Progress, Load Saved Progress, Restart Run, and Quit Run & Return To Main Menu. The Pause Screen will be discussed in greater detail later in this document.).

---

Your Padded Pal,

---Yosh E. O'Ducky ;)

Hamha!

I'd like to start by apologizing to those I am actively working on projects with. The reason I was unavailable over the past two weeks was a combination of the following...

1: Interior home remodeling to optimize the shared workspace for Lucca and myself

2: Started a new medication to help me not so easily fall into an unproductive and deep state of depression

The room modifications really helped Lucca and I make more room for our respective inspirations, items, and opened up a large area so we did not feel so crammed together into an itty-bitty workspace. Given our respective disabilities, completing such a task took a long time and needed to become the #1 priority to make it possible for both of us to get back to working on projects. There is still work to be done, but we are to where we can use the room to be productively creative while having the completion of its overall look and feel done at a more leisurely pace.

As for the new medication, I talked to my Family Doctor / Primary Care Physician (PCP) about how I have been suffering from more frequent bouts of depression since my last appointment with her. We agreed to max out my use of the generic prescription for Zoloft while adding the lowest dose of a new medicine, Abilify.

Since starting on, generic, Abilify, I have found myself able to become much better at not allowing the struggles of being someone who is 100% blind bring me down as they once did. After I catch up on more of what I missed during these past two weeks, I'll be writing my PCP to let her know, as per her request, how I am doing with Abilify paired with my Zoloft.

NEED TO SELL NEOPETS CARD SETS:
The bills are kicking me and Lucca in our padded patooties. Thankfully, Lucca found my old Neopets TCG binders. The sets I assembled between 2003 and 2007 are beautiful in how they all feature original artwork that appears like it had been made for a cartoon series instead of an online, virtual pet site. However, given the need for money and how I can no longer even see these cards outside of my memories, I am asking for help to find someone who would buy one, or more, of the following complete TCG card sets. (3-Ring Binder and 9-Pocket Ultra Pro protective pages are included along with trackable USPS shipping.).

RETURN OF DR. SLOTH:
Intending to be tied into an online plot, this set was released in 2004 & the online tie-in was delayed until early 2008 due to workload.[2] This set totaled 100 cards. This expansion's theme was space, providing players with futuristic and robotic items and equipment. Six new Neopet species made their debut in this expansion (Basic Type: Cybunny, Grundo, Jetsam, Jubjub, and Kougra).
https://www.ccgtrader.net/games/neo.....n-of-dr-sloth/

MYSTERY ISLAND:
Based upon a tropical island locale, this 100-card expansion provided no new card types, but did introduce four new Neopet species, including the Pteri and Techo (other Basic Type: Krawk and Peophin). The related plot was the Secret of the Volcano mystery plot in Fall 2003, but the plot and the expansion were not released together.
https://www.ccgtrader.net/games/neo.....ystery-island/

LOST DESERT:
This 100-card expansion took players to the shifting sands of the Lost Desert. Basic Neopets released in this expansion are the Ruki, the Kau, and the Tonu. Site-wise, there was a plot and war revolving around this expansion.
https://www.ccgtrader.net/games/neo.....g/lost-desert/

HAUNTED WOODS:
This final expansion, featuring 100 cards with a spooky theme. Cards are related to ghosts, werewolves, and zombies, among others. This deck is associated with the plot, Tale of Woe; where a village has fallen under a curse, and only the Neopets can determine what happened to the townsfolk. There are no new Basic Type cards, although they did fill out the basic 4 colors for the Lenny and Tonu. Special color versions are included for Acara, Aisha, Cybunny, and Korbat. As with previous recent releases, this release appears to be been done with a minimum amount of publicity. This is the last expansion produced by Wizards of the Coast.
https://www.ccgtrader.net/games/neo.....haunted-woods/

These sets are valued on eBay, and other sites, between $250 & $350 USD. However, as I really need the money and no longer have need of these sets, I'm selling each of them for $200. This will include trackable shipping, a 3-ring binder, and the 9-pocket Ultra Pro pages that currently hold each card that is in Near Mint (NM) to Mint condition. (I always did my best to take care of those things I valued. Rest assured that I'm keeping some of my Neopets sets. However, if anyone knows a way to find someone interested in buying the ones I listed above, I'd be very thankful.).

***

Okay, expect the real Star Day to start tomorrow, March 17th. As I have some projects to catch up on, like Just Animals - Issue #3, you can expect to see the festivities going on throughout the forthcoming week.


Your Pal:

---Yosh E. O'Ducky ;)

hOI!!!!!!!!!

PREFACE:
There is no obligation to read all, or any, of the following. There is also [u[no[/u] need to reply, comment, and/or interact with this journal in any way, shape, or form.

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INTRO:
The Art of Self Destruction – Part 2:
By: Nine Inch Nails
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g6UPjmuFXFs

I am the voice inside your head (and I control you)
I am the lover in your bed (and I control you)
I am the sex that you provide (and I control you)
I am the hate you try to hide (and I control you)
I take you where you want to go
I give you all you need to know
I drag you down, I use you up
Mr. Self Destruct

I speak religion's message clear (and I control you)
I am denial guilt and fear (and I control you)
I am the prayers of the naive (and I control you)
I am the lie that you believe (and I control you)
I take you where you want to go
I give you all you need to know
I drag you down I use you up
Mr. Self Destruct

You let me do this to you (I am the exit)
You let me do this to you (I am the exit)
You let me do this to you (I am the exit)
You let me do this to you (I am the exit)
You let me do this to you (I am the exit)
You let me do this to you (I am the exit)
You let me do this to you (I am the exit)
You let me do this to you (I am the exit)

I am the needle in your vein
I am the high you can't sustain
I am the pusher, I'm a whore
I am the need you have for more
I am the bullet in the gun (and I control you)
I am the truth from which you run (and I control you)
I am the silencing machine (and I control you)
I am the end of all your dreams (and I control you)

I take you where you want to go
I give you all you need to know
I drag you down, I use you up
Mr. Self Destruct

I take you where you want to go
I give you all you need to know
I drag you down, I use you up
Mr. Self Destruct

---

MY INTERPRETATION OF THE LYRICS:

The music of Nine Inch Nails / Trent Reznor was introduced to me by my childhood friend, Enoch Myers. If not for him, I would have never been able to gain the computer skills necessary to do what I can do despite the decreasing amount of accessibility through technology that is afforded me as someone is 100% blind.

Enoch was the first person to not only introduce me to music, but also how to use MS DOS, Doom, game modding, software testing, the internet, and how to operate a local Bulletin Board Service (BBS). ([/i]A BBS was what many people used before the internet was widely available to the everyday user. People would use an ISA, or PCI, modem installed in their computer’s ISA, or PCI, slots to connect their home phone line to access the BBS. Upon logging into the BBS, the user could write e-mails, make posts on chat boards, play games, upload files, and download files. Most BBS could only support one user at a time unless the BBS’ System Operator (SysOp) had more than one modem and phone line dedicated to accessing their BBS. The SysOp was also able to interact with active users in a variety of ways with the most common being one-on-one chat.[/i]).

When I first started buying Nine Inch Nails albums, I didn’t so much listen to the lyrics as I had the music on to help inspire me as I worked on homework assignments and improving my skills with the computer. It wasn’t until much later that I began to notice how much I related to what Trent was sharing through the words he had put to his songs. (Beyond the one I’m sharing for this journal, which is a remix of ‘Mr. Self Destruct’ from “The Downward Spiral”, I often find myself relating my feelings to ‘Wish’, ‘Happiness In Slavery’, ‘Into The Void’, ‘Only’, ‘Capital G’, ‘Copy of a Copy’ and ‘Came Back Haunted’.).

The above said, the lyrics of Mr. Self Destruct’ / ‘The Art of Self Destruction’ have always felt like a representation of my internal battle with who I am, who I want to be, what I can never be, being forced to be what someone else wants me to be, and my overall battle to remain positive in a world that grows more-and-more visual while I become less-and-less able to feel a part of / interact with it.

---

MOST RECENT REALIZATIONS:
I’ve been 100% blind for over seven years now. However, in truth, I’ve been losing ground on what I can interact with on my own for over sixteen years. Each time sight would be stolen from me by complications of surgery, unsuccessful treatments after each surgical intervention, and/or just what being born with an incurable disease, Glaucoma, does throughout one’s lifetime. (Glaucoma typically afflicts those who are over fifty years of age. It is an eye disease that causes the amount of fluid in your eye to be improperly regulated. If there is too much fluid, the eye starts to destroy the key relay of visual data from your eye to the brain, The Optic Nerve. Too little fluid in the eye causes it to collapse with its inner-workings, like the Retina, becoming broken / detached.).

Each time my ability to interact with our sighted world got worse, I tried to find some way in which to reconnect with it. However, the end result was always the same in how something that once gave me joy, independence, and gainful employment had to be left behind forever.

The greatest loss came when the rest of what limited eyesight I had left was lost forever after a failed, third attempt to reattach my Retina. The only things I would ever see again would be what my memories and imagination afforded me.

As I was officially 100% blind as of December 15th, 2016, I thought my life could only get better now that I no longer required regular eye appointments, surgeries, and medications. I believed the stability of no longer having to worry about when my next battle against total blindness would take me away from my family would allow me to finally bond with my, at the time, ten year old son and wife…

…I was wrong. My wife, feeling that I was “Doing better”, felt it was time to end our relationship right after I took a job working within Customer Service for a regional chain of grocery stores. (Time and expenses considered, I actually made less money working this job than I did by not working at all.).

After my wife left me, I found myself spending less-and-less time with my son, Peep. Although we agreed on how to evenly split our time with our son, my ex-wife found ways to have him more-and-more while making sure he knew that I wasn’t, “…his responsibility to take care of…”.

With MLP: FiM / BronyCon and my career in Customer Care ending in Fall 2019, I struggled to find something to help me feel a sense of purpose in life. The scariest thing is to be trapped with your thoughts and, I can assure you, not being able to visually distract your mind from memories and thoughts of what you can no longer do is really, really hard. Add in solitude, web sites and phone apps becoming less and less usable to even the most updated screen reading / text-to-speech software, and being told everything you are doing wrong by your immediate family and ex-wife only makes being able to retain a positive outlook on life even harder.

---

LUCCA: MY BRINGER OF LIGHT:
The best thing to happen to me since starting my life without eyesight is having Lucca move in with me. He is a constant companion, voice of reason, and the first person to not make me feel how shameful it is to like and do what makes me happy. (This is, of course, the comfort and joy I feel from wearing diapers, onesies, snuggling and/or diapering plushie pals, and participating within the Baby Fur / Little community.).

March 15th, 2024 marks our second anniversary as a couple. Over this time, I have learned just how much my family has only seen me as a scapegoat / means-to-their-end rather than as an individual. I also must come to terms that, although my son does come over and visit more frequently, this frequency is a single day each week that is more an opportunity to share a few words before he meets up with his girlfriend, goes to sleep, and heading out for school the following day. (He is seventeen and, well, I definitely want to see him be happy as he grows into being a young rooster over feeling like he is obligated to spend time / entertain me.).

CONCLUSION:
Without Lucca in my life, I may have never been able to see just how much my own family really only likes me around if I am doing what they want me to do. My mom is alright, but she normally only calls me to share something depressing about life that I can’t really do much about. Any attempts to connect with my brother-in-law and sister, even after they brought their son, Owlbert, into the world on July 21st, 2023, has ended with little discussion beyond how ‘difficult’ and ‘exhausting’ it is to care for a baby. (If they think that is hard, they should try it while undergoing multiple surgical procedures, having your job threatened over-and-over again as a result of needing so many surgical interventions as your eyesight gets worse-and-worse, and being told by your wife that she felt so stressed by you that they had to have a fling with another man in order to get away from being stuck in such an emotionally difficult situation.).

Another realization is how and why I feel uninspired to do my own creative work. I love when I can create stories for others. I also really enjoy helping people with the creative process. However, I feel it is time I gave up on my own projects. They bring me no joy and, moreover, they are not what people are interested in. So, going forward, I am going to focus my efforts on what I can do with other people while phasing out my original works. It is just too painful to feel alone in what you enjoy and it is even worse to know how you have to take time away from one, or more, people in order to do what you and you alone like and want to do.

Lastly, as Lucca is such a caring and supportive individual, I look to find the joy in what we can truly do together. I need to stop living in the past and trying to get back what was never meant to be returned to me in any way, shape, or form. In order to stop feeling so depressed, I have to really-and-truly move on with my life. Since Lucca is my love and support both online and off, I look forward to setting aside the weight of my past to enjoy a productive and happy future as duckling and papa.

---

I feel a lot better since I got to write this all out. If you read all of this, I thank you for your time and hope that it may have provided you some kind of support in your own life’s journey.


Your Pal,

---Yosh E. O’Ducky ;)

hOI!!!!!

Kazootles! There's nothing quite like having to purchase a brand new heating system for your home to start off the new year. It will more than pay for itself through the cost savings through being immensely more energy efficient than the old model, but it will take a very, very long time to reach its purchase and installation cost of $6,500!

Oh, the joy of home ownership. The interesting thing is that our mortgage is the current rate for a small, two bedroom apartment! It is these insane living expenses that make me very happy that Lucca and I can pull our talents together while helping to support Leon / Cat of 1,000 Worlds as they work with us towards being the best we can be despite our respective disabilities.

***

In other news, Leon / Cat of 1,000 Worlds and I are going to collaborate on bringing his voice acting talent to stories that I've written over the years to make them more accessible to everyone. They are also going to assist me in efficiently reorganizing my gallery here on FA along with developing the YouTube channel that will help get Coping With Disabilities Through The Arts[/b moving full steam ahead.

***

On December 22nd, 2023, I received an e-mail notifying me that my case was closed with The Bureau of Blindness & Visual Services, which is a part of Pennsylvania's Department of Labor & Industry. This was quite abrupt as my vocational rehabilitation counselor (VRC) had not reached out to me in over six months. I could get back on the waiting list to have a new case opened, but there is nothing more that even a State / Federal agency can do for me when it comes to be gainfully employed, or employed at all, as an individual who is 100% blind.

***

Since every possible avenue to put my educational and professional experiences to work towards supporting our household have failed, I am hoping to earn the support of those who would be willing to donate to the Patreon / Subscribe Star that Lucca and I are working to build upon.

We are not sure how long it will be until Patreon removes us, but we are still waiting for subscribe Star to finalize our approval. So, for now, our Patreon link is...

---

https://www.patreon.com/LuccaYoshArtTherapy

---

As long as Lucca and I can avoid getting sick, investing in home repairs, and combatting cockroach infestations, we should be back to making regular and more frequent posts to our Patreon. We also should be able to take in all of your feedback regarding what we can do to deserve monthly donations beyond the $3 tier.

***

Now I want to openly apologize for my hiatus from working on the comic book series, [b]Just Animals. The author has provided me with his third script for review back in December, but I've been unable to give it the time it deserves until now.

Curious about what Just Animals is all about? Follow this link to see the, nearly complete, first issue of the Sci-Fi / Drama series that delves into the not-so-distant future of Philadelphia where "The City of Brotherly Love" is a major battleground for the acceptance, understanding, empowerment, and community for those who, as a result of a catastrophic event that occured after 2023, were born as human / animal hybrids.

https://www.furaffinity.net/user/ju.....imalsofficial/

***

There is definitely far more to share and talk about with all of you. Lucca and I look forward to doing all we can to make 2024 a great year where we succeed in catching up on our projects while earning your support so that we may be able to continue to afford living in our little home.


Your Pal,

---Yosh E. O'Ducky ;)

hOI!!!! hOI!!! hOI!!!

Kazootles! Another year has nearly reached its end. Despite a laundry list of ups-and-downs, I can truly say that I accomplished more this year than I have in any previous year since having lost all of my eyesight at the end of 2016.

THINGS THAT GOT DONE:
* Began posting content to our, still active, Patreon page

* Acquired all Birdz clips of Mr. Nuthatch to build a solid foundation for the 2024 Coping With Limitations Through The Arts video series (YouTube channel coming soon!)

* Successfully began an ongoing comic book project, Just Animals, with an up-and-coming author (I've helped review, edit, and advise the content for Issues #1 and #2 and should have Issue #3 alpha and beta reviewed before the start of 2024)

* Reacquired my passion for writing and have begun a new series, Tales of Unseen Art while feeling confident enough to reopen my story commissions. (Stories are $20 and will consist of approximately 10,000 words. If you are interested in one, please send me a Note / DM and we'll see what we can create together.)

* Made forward progress on catching up with the posts that have been stuck in my submissions folder for over two years (It's amazing just how much work goes into maintaining a house when you have no physical eyesight. However, with Lucca's help, we are getting everything under control one day at a time.)

* Found the closest thing to a blind friendly game, Mortal Kombat 1. I'm hoping to put some more time into it when there isn't just so much to get done in which my playing of the game would not disrupt what projects Lucca and I are trying to complete around the house. :)

* Got the prosthetic for my left eye (Still need to finish paying for it, but it is quite cool, a symbol of my relationship and devotion to Lucca, and allows me to further heal after over seven years of being 100% blind and needing both of my eyes removed.)

---

Lucca and I are exploring other places in which to host our crowd funding efforts. Patreon has taken quite a firm stand against people by stereotyping everyone in a given category group as being something that 99% of us are not (I plan to discuss this during the forthcoming video series I will be making where I, personally, discuss how much the disabled community as a whole is best unified through the creative arts.).

For 2024, Lucca and I are looking to become more reliable providers of past, present, and future artistic efforts in which you have all so kindly provided us monetary support to get on our feet. The $10,000 replacement for our HVAC system, $6,000 plumbing repairs, and $1,000 professional pest removal put quite a strain on our strained budget. This, of course, did not help our individual and shared anxiety given how individuals with profound physical and/or psychological disabilities, like us, have hundreds of social "Barriers to Entry" to find a job and not be forced out of said job as a result of our disabilities not aligning with a given organization's ever-changing ways of performing their day-to-day operations. (Lucca and I value your patience and hope you are enjoying how we both are getting back to our best and following through with our promised work. It has taken awhile, but it means a lot that you have stuck with us and helped us find success despite so many setbacks to get to where we are today.).


Your Pal,

Yosh E. O'Ducky ;)

hOI!!!!!!

As most have already heard, or experienced, Patreon’s decision to abruptly close a large number of Baby Fur, Little, and ABDL accounts has had devastating impacts. The most notable being how, when you take time to think about it, a large majority of these content creators are individuals with physical and/or psychological disabilities that prevent them from acquiring gainful employment beyond what they can achieve through the creative arts.

---

Lucca and I have not yet been impacted by Patreon’s purge of those whose talents revolve around Safe For Work (SFW) and/or Not Safe For Work (NSFW) content. We do know that our Patreon site could go down at any time and, until it does, we plan to post as much art, stories, videos, and insightful journals that relate to how one’s liking of diapers and/or diapered cartoon animals is, like having a disability, 1% of what truly defines who and what we are as people.

---

If you are interested in providing monthly assistance to a disabled couple who are working hard to prove that we are more than our shared interests and disabilities, please follow the link below…

https://www.patreon.com/LuccaYoshArtTherapy

In the meantime, we are working with our housemate, Leon / Cat of 1,000 Worlds, to find a new place to share our creative content that is primarily aimed at ‘empowering’, ‘understanding’, ‘accepting, and creating a sense of ‘community’ for all those who go misunderstood for who and what they are as a result of society’s ignorance to whomever, or whatever, may not fit within the proverbial ‘box’. (Leon possesses strong knowledge of many of today’s social networking platforms and web sites that are least likely to discriminate against those who have interests that do not align with the outdated stereotypes and stigmas that improperly label people before genuinely taking the time to understand how and why someone may be ‘different’ from the rest of society.).

---

Lucca and I thank you all for your continued support as we do all we can to help advocate and support those who are both disabled and struggle with feeling outcast by a society built on double standards, hypocrisy, and the perpetuation of feigning ignorance towards anyone who does not fit within a status quo in which, by no choice of our own, we have been placed into.

I plan to write a more thorough editorial on the Patreon situation soon. Lucca and I would have already done more to help our friends and colleagues if it were not for, yet again, coming down with a very intense chest cold / flu. (Really and truly, we hope that this is the last time we get super sick for a long, long time. Medicine is not cheap and being trapped, as others with disabilities are, with an extremely limited income really hurts when you must choose if it is financially feasible to pay your home’s upkeep, or buy $12 cold medicine that specifically targets all the symptoms that we both have been trying to overcome.).

---

Thank you all for your time, patience, and consideration. If supporting us on Patreon does not work, you are welcome to send donations to us through PayPal at palumbo.ms[at]gmail.com until Leon can help Lucca and I find a better place to continue our efforts. In the meantime, now that we are feeling better, look for more posts on our Patreon page with all content being gradually made available on Fur Affinity (FA) and Twitter (X) as I am able to work the sites with my [Text To Speech] software that, sadly, many software developers fail to make their updated releases of web-based content able to interact with. (I write most of my posts using an older version of MS Outlook before Lucca converts them to where they need to go for wider exposure. It is extra work for him, but the only way that I can ensure I am able to add to the creative content out there despite having no physical eyesight of my own.).

Again, if you are interested, our Patreon is still up and running and can be joined, or sampled, by visiting…

https://www.patreon.com/LuccaYoshArtTherapy


Your Pal:

---Yosh E. O’Ducky ;)