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My Week So Far
5 years ago
This week has probably been the most interesting I've had in quite some time
One of my rats had a huge lump on her chest that turned out to just be breast milk
I've somehow got a job interview tomorrow afternoon
Our property/lease was suddenly taken over by another real estate agency
Literally all I did yesterday was read yaoi doujins
Twitter is having a meltdown
Everything is simultaneously hilarious and stressful and I'm starting to wonder if this is what it feels like to "crack"
When Devon started showing this growth on her chest I was hoping for it to just be an abscess that needed to be lanced and kept clean but trying to psych myself up for the worst possible outcome: that it was a malignant tumour and having to ask the vets what I could do to make her more comfortable because I couldn't afford surgery for her. And then the vet just comes back with two little syringes and tells me it's just plain ol' breast milk. Not even an infection or anything that they can find, and I just.. was not expecting that at all and it's like all my body weight just fell off my shoulders and all I could do was laugh for the rest of the day. It was the weirdest high I've ever felt.
$248 later I had to apologise to my housemate for having to wait a little longer for my portion of the power bill, but I was able to send her some money at least, cuz she was upset that I might not be able to send her anything. But then when she asked if I had any money left for food or meds and I said no, she just gave me this exasperated sigh and it's like.. I'm sorry I'm poor?? I'm doing the best I can with what little I have, here. So if I didn't send her money she's be mad and I'd be stressed, but I was able to send her money and she's still mad and I'm still stressed. I can't win.
The next day I get a call from my case worker for my employment agency I'm with asking if she could put me forward for a storeperson position, and then like 10mins later she calls again asking if I can do an interview for said job on Friday and I was just dumbfounded and it wasn't until the call ended that my brain really started working. I haven't had any job interviews for literally years. I've put on a lot of weight and outgrown almost all my clothes, especially my nice ones, what the fuck do I wear? I'm just freaking out constantly in the back of my mind, trying to psych myself up for it and not make a fool of myself.
Like an hour later I get a call from a real estate agent telling me they've taken over our property/lease and wanted to confirm all our contact details and all that. It didn't seem to be anything more than just a change of agents, but it was so sudden and I still have no idea what the fuck happened to our old agents. Did the company get absorbed by this other one? Did they sell the property? The fuck?
Ever since then it almost feels like I've crashed hard from my relieved high after taking Devon to the vets. I'm just.. really depressed all the time for what seems like no reason, and I've had enough "training" in mindfulness to be cool with just accepting it and riding it out, but usually I'm able to figure out what may have been my trigger for being in this emotional state, so it just feels very alien to be this sad because of that.
To make myself feel better / distract myself I've just been reading yaoi/BL doujinshi. It doesn't exactly calm one down, but it's a much better kind of excited emotional state to be in, haha. I recently finished watching most of Kuroko no Basuke (finally) so I've mostly been reading AoKaga and KuroKaga, because yes. And occasionally sustaining myself with a few slices of bread because I have no food thanks to Devon's singular over-excited tiddy, lmao.
And like an hour or two ago when I started checking my messages here, I noticed twitter was acting a bit strange. I thought I had just used mobile links from people's journals but changing the url wasn't doing anything, and it turns out that twitter just overhauled their whole site in favour of an outdated mobile version. It's really gross but the #newtwitter tag is filled with so many great posts and reaction gifs and videos so that's been very entertaining, to say the least.
So.. yep that's me. Everything is funny but also really stressful and I'm hoping to offer something to help me to afford some food and meds wheee
One of my rats had a huge lump on her chest that turned out to just be breast milk
I've somehow got a job interview tomorrow afternoon
Our property/lease was suddenly taken over by another real estate agency
Literally all I did yesterday was read yaoi doujins
Twitter is having a meltdown
Everything is simultaneously hilarious and stressful and I'm starting to wonder if this is what it feels like to "crack"
When Devon started showing this growth on her chest I was hoping for it to just be an abscess that needed to be lanced and kept clean but trying to psych myself up for the worst possible outcome: that it was a malignant tumour and having to ask the vets what I could do to make her more comfortable because I couldn't afford surgery for her. And then the vet just comes back with two little syringes and tells me it's just plain ol' breast milk. Not even an infection or anything that they can find, and I just.. was not expecting that at all and it's like all my body weight just fell off my shoulders and all I could do was laugh for the rest of the day. It was the weirdest high I've ever felt.
$248 later I had to apologise to my housemate for having to wait a little longer for my portion of the power bill, but I was able to send her some money at least, cuz she was upset that I might not be able to send her anything. But then when she asked if I had any money left for food or meds and I said no, she just gave me this exasperated sigh and it's like.. I'm sorry I'm poor?? I'm doing the best I can with what little I have, here. So if I didn't send her money she's be mad and I'd be stressed, but I was able to send her money and she's still mad and I'm still stressed. I can't win.
The next day I get a call from my case worker for my employment agency I'm with asking if she could put me forward for a storeperson position, and then like 10mins later she calls again asking if I can do an interview for said job on Friday and I was just dumbfounded and it wasn't until the call ended that my brain really started working. I haven't had any job interviews for literally years. I've put on a lot of weight and outgrown almost all my clothes, especially my nice ones, what the fuck do I wear? I'm just freaking out constantly in the back of my mind, trying to psych myself up for it and not make a fool of myself.
Like an hour later I get a call from a real estate agent telling me they've taken over our property/lease and wanted to confirm all our contact details and all that. It didn't seem to be anything more than just a change of agents, but it was so sudden and I still have no idea what the fuck happened to our old agents. Did the company get absorbed by this other one? Did they sell the property? The fuck?
Ever since then it almost feels like I've crashed hard from my relieved high after taking Devon to the vets. I'm just.. really depressed all the time for what seems like no reason, and I've had enough "training" in mindfulness to be cool with just accepting it and riding it out, but usually I'm able to figure out what may have been my trigger for being in this emotional state, so it just feels very alien to be this sad because of that.
To make myself feel better / distract myself I've just been reading yaoi/BL doujinshi. It doesn't exactly calm one down, but it's a much better kind of excited emotional state to be in, haha. I recently finished watching most of Kuroko no Basuke (finally) so I've mostly been reading AoKaga and KuroKaga, because yes. And occasionally sustaining myself with a few slices of bread because I have no food thanks to Devon's singular over-excited tiddy, lmao.
And like an hour or two ago when I started checking my messages here, I noticed twitter was acting a bit strange. I thought I had just used mobile links from people's journals but changing the url wasn't doing anything, and it turns out that twitter just overhauled their whole site in favour of an outdated mobile version. It's really gross but the #newtwitter tag is filled with so many great posts and reaction gifs and videos so that's been very entertaining, to say the least.
So.. yep that's me. Everything is funny but also really stressful and I'm hoping to offer something to help me to afford some food and meds wheee
THANKYOU AND GOODNIGHT
I hope that things start getting better soon!!!