Thanks for your comment, I’m glad you liked those aspects of the story! Mae’s attitude was fun to write and of course I really adore conflicted emotions and blends of comfort & discomfort myself, so it’s nice to hear you enjoyed those aspects too, and feel the emotions were well executed!
Also am flattered you found my character’s thumb sucking as cute as you did! Ty ty!
Thanks for making this VN! In terms of tone, atmosphere, and visual direction, it’s honestly pretty special to me, and the religious community you’ve portrayed feels very believable, problematic trans integration and all. To me there’s also a very unsettling aura here that works well with the main character’s recent trauma - and to foreshadow the situation at the convent. I also love the poetic/prayerful language you use to convey Mala’s inner emotional turmoil.
Also… I am very much taking a liking to Casna, even though I also recognize the red flags as of the end of day two.~ I can understand why Mala told her big sister everything’s fine there… And given that Velika seems remorseful over what she did, I’m really curious to find out more about her!
Anyways, great work and I look forward to reading more!
Thanks for your lovely comment! It’s interesting hearing your thoughts about why this story worked for you. I’m glad my portrayal of the kink resonated, and that you liked the relationship & atypical D/s dynamic between my lead characters!
I prrrobably shouldn’t say too much about the dub-con aspect since I enjoy death of the author… but! Dub-con tends to be kind of an anxious thing for me as well, which might be why I like it best with some sweetness. That can include things like mutual physical intimacy and copious talk about feelings (or being vocal in the dynamic as you put it!)… perhaps alongside some appropriate nervousness on the characters’ parts. Ultimately I think the feelings & interactions here are up to reader interpretation, but I’m glad you found my take on dub-con unusually comfortable, I will take it as a sign I’m doing something right!
Oh, and ty for pointing out the similarity to text RP! That’s like, at least unconsciously intentional I think… I’m glad it has a cute effect!
I hope you’ll find something to like in my next projects as well. Fingers crossed I’ll have something substantial uploaded soon(tm) from the next next game jams that have caught my eye, so feel very free to stay tuned!
Very fun and cute! Exactly my kind of simple game too. I very immediately set about trying to play an optimal game and get a high score… The jingle is also really good and fitting!
I also liked your write-up on the code. It’s very cool that you were able to implement most of the shuffling algorithm using GameBoy Studio’s visual scripting!
Hi there! I saw you post this entry on the Yuri Game Jam Discord server. Congrats on your first completed game! Your passion comes through very clearly in your writing and I really enjoyed some of those chuuni lines your characters dropped. Your protagonist and her wife had a cute dynamic, too.
Since you mentioned wanting critique - I did find the plot a little bit confusing to follow on my first read through, and there were a few things that could use some cleaning up! I think your writing would benefit from an editing pass with spellchecking or grammar checking software; there were some distracting typos and inconsistent capitalizations, particularly during the news segments. There’s also a lightvn error notice that shows up for me (a little inconsistently!) when the snow marshal starts speaking; I think one of the images on that page has a loading or animation issue.
There were a few key moments that I think could use some editing for clarity, e.g. “Two shots in the distance” sounds more to me like two shots echoing in the distance as opposed to being fired from Canaan’s gun - which I think was the intended reading. It also wasn’t 100% clear to me how Canaan was fatally wounded at the end! This can be subjective, though I do recommend showing your drafts to beta readers if you don’t make a habit of that already, since they can offer feedback on writing clarity.
All in all though I enjoyed your sense of whimsy and the banter between your characters! Thanks for sharing your VN, and I hope I get to see more games from you!
Thank-you for the lovely comment! I appreciate you letting me know what won over your click, and I’m glad you liked the feelings and descriptions and the kink too.
Your critique is fair and appreciated! I’ve been told once or twice that the alternating inner monologues are a bit confusing, but I think that using the characters’ names more at the start could help mitigate that. I’ll keep that in mind for my next editing pass!
Thanks for your comment, I’m glad my little VN resonated with you! And ty for the compliments to my character writing. I feel like you are a fellow enjoyer of cuteness so it’s very good to hear that you liked my art as well.
Fingers crossed I’ll be making more VNs about such things in the near-ish future, so you’re more than welcome to stay tuned…!
Much has been said about this one but I want to remark upon the atmosphere surrounding the arctic research facility! Anoninsula is a great name and I also appreciated the contrast between the exacting scientific documents written by Estelle and the, y’know, the sexting.~ And just the general allusion to surveillance and quarantine protocols and all of that was good, really well done with the setting!
Got stuck on one of the puzzles (the three buttons one! oops…) but I loved the retro aesthetic, the sprite animations, and the limited color palette! Just overall a #relatable tone and aesthetic to me, thanks for making it!
Lovely work! I’m glad I got to see your ultra charming art style in action, and discover the lore behind that cute doggirl you posted in the jam server awhile back!
Also that was pretty messed up and will stay in my mind for some time to come.~
