LOVE THIS +__+
I thought the pacing was perfect. I have read many bara VNs and often they drag out a scene having the dialogue be too verbose. But the writing here, each scene says and shows what was needed for it and moves on to the next one, wonderful. Excellent art, character designs, background art, music, sound effects, like that cracking sound of what happened to the main character, fuckin ow, I winced hearing it, very immersive drawing me in instantly. My only critique is the narration, having a main character be the narrator, often what is narrated and what is their own thoughts both get lost together. So when y'all are rewriting the story (which saddens me cause I love this 1.0 version) I'd suggest an example as "Feenyx eagerly awaits Bowers' cock" etc instead of feenyx thinking/narrating "I eagerly awaited Bowers' cock" as such.
so yeah solid 5/5 from me honestly, can't wait to see the next update :D