This looks great and you should definitely make it at least "pay what you want". Also, I am no editor but here are some typos I found and some commas suggestions (hope you don't mind):
p3:
- since the palace was build -> built
p4:
- It's vast crystal doors -> Its
- Palace is made -> The palace
- The palace is created it's played -> as it's(?)
p5:
- sections it's made up of -> made of
characters cannot see disappear -> see, disappear
p6:
- used as tour guides by the place -> palace(?)
p8:
- are the champions now at which point -> now, at which
- balance withing the Fractal Place -> Palace(?)
Thanks for this!