A commission I bought from the excellent dez-a-sketch ( https://www.deviantart.com/dez-a-sketch ) In this pic, Jam swaps bodies with Ammit (or rather, a discarded design her for a cancelled Blue Sky movie called "Anubis" based off "The Anubis Tapestry" book. I ended up going nuts on this story, basically turning it into a 10th anniversary story of my work

Focuses less on the swap itself, since I wanted to do a lot more worldbuilding and lore. Since I've been writing these stories for a decade now and the lore remains vague. It also features  mallardent's Felgar, who I KNEW I had to include in this. Again, apologies for taking so long to get to the swap in the story. It is worth it though and quite fun!


Story:


It was a dark and mysterious night, one that would also prove to be quite dangerous. For within a local museum, trouble was stirring. A hapless simian would soon awaken a dangerous force and trifle with its grand power and even grander belly. Little did he know that his simple visit to the museum would turn into something far more treacherous...


Jam was visiting "The Osiris Museum of Egyptian Antiquities" one day, something he did from time to time. However, the monkey didn't come here to look at the artifacts on display, but rather to grope busty female mummies! He would sneak into their sarcophagi and grab hold of their chests as tightly as he could. Surprisingly, they still kept their firmness and bounciness, despite centuries of degradation.


On this particular outing, Jam had lost track of time and ended up groping the dead for hours. After getting his fill, Jam left the sarcophagus and ventured into the darkened museum. Jam looked around as he scratched his hairless butt, "Where did everybody go?"


Jam wandered through the museum, walking on his knuckles as he skulked through the shadows. To his surprise, nobody was there! He had lost track of time and was stuck in the museum after closing hours. Worse still, it was Friday and the museum wouldn't open back up until Monday!


Jam sat on the floor and angrily scratched himself, "I can't believe I'm stuck here ALL weekend! Plus, security is useless and probably won't notice me!"


Jam continued to talk to himself for several minutes, trying to think of a solution. Thankfully, the monkey's chattering eventually led him to one! Jam smirked and inhaled, before exhaling, "Oh, Felgar!"


From across time, space, and throughout the multiverse, Jam's voice echoed until it reached the ears of a certain individual. With a snap of his fingers, he appeared before Jam in a blast of energy. The vest-wearing duck smiled, "It is I, Felgar!"


Jam walked up to the duck and patted him on the back, "Ah good, you're here to save me!"


Felgar grumbled and crossed his arms, "Here to use me as a ride again, Jam?"


"What? Come on, I just want to be out of this creepy old museum! I'm trapped in here all weekend,"


The duck narrowed his eyes, "You were groping the mummies again, weren't you?"


The monkey chuckled nervously and batted his hand at the duck, "Don't be silly, Felgs! I was just, uh... Knocked unconscious, yeah,"


"Fine, I'll get you out of here, but I'm transforming you right after!" Felgar said with a sigh. As he spoke, something stirred in the shadows behind him. Neither of the cartoon animals took notice of this initially.


"Thanks, Felgs, you're a real friend!"


"We are not friends, we're sworn en-"


Felgar's voice was interrupted by the sounds of heavy breathing behind him. He looked up and saw a pair of red eyes staring at him from the darkness. A booming feminine voice spoke, "Long time no see, Fel-Ra!"


Jam raised an eyebrow, "Who's 'Fel-Ra'?"


"N-Nothing, I have no idea!" Felgar said while stammering nervously. Jam took notice of the fear in Felgar's voice, something that was uncommon to the demon. Whoever this shadowy being was, it truly seemed like a force to reckon with.


The shadowy being emerged from the shadows and presented herself, a strange Egyptian chimera of various animals. She had the head of a crocodile, the torso and tail of a lioness, and the legs and bottom of a hippo. She wore a golden headdress atop her beautiful, scaly head. Adorning her scaly snout was a pink horn. Her whole body was decked out in fancy Egyptian jewelry.


The mismatched being smirked as she stomped up to the duck, her fat jiggling with every step, "I haven't seen you in millennia, Fel-Ra! How's my favorite traitor doing?"


Felgar pleaded with the fat chimera, "Please, Ammie, I'm not Fel-Ra anymore! And I'm sorry about what happened,"


"Silence!" The chimera bellowed, "You've lost the right to call me that, you can refer to me by my actual name: 'Ammit'!"


Jam's eyes opened wide as a sudden realization hit him, "Felgar, did you date the Egyptian goddess of death?!"


"For the love of Lucifowl, here we go..." Felgar said as he hung his head in shame.


The goddess gave a feint nod as she circled her long tail around the pair of cartoon animals, right before wrapping them up in it. The pair struggled in the goddess' tail, unable to break free. Ammit cackled as she held the pair up to eye-level, "I see the lab-coat isn't a false sign of intellect! Yes, this 'Felgar' and I dated thousands of years ago. Of course, back then he was a jackal named 'Fel-Ra!"


Jam looked at Felgar, "You were a jackal?!"


"Yes, I change forms to a different anthropomorphic animal every few centuries or few decades or so!"


"Huh, that makes sense!"


The goddess cleared her throat in order to get their attention, "Focus, boys! Anyway, back then the Egyptian pantheon was thriving. I dated Fel-Ra in secret, as goddesses dating demons was forbidden. Things went well for a while, until he betrayed me and stole ancient tombs from our celestial homeland! The other gods blamed me and the pantheon fell into ruin in a matter of centuries,"


The monkey turned back to Felgar and shot an intense glare at him, "Hold up, you destroyed the Egyptian Pantheon by stealing something?!"


"It was a long time ago and I was a cowardly kleptomaniac back then, before mastering my transformation powers. Besides, how was I supposed to know stealing some dusty old books would make the gods drift apart?"


The crocodile's eyes glowed with an immense energy, "They were more than just 'dusty old books', you quacking fool, and you know it! Those tomes contained advanced knowledge on transformation magic, spells that gave the gods an edge over other shapeshifters. You took those books, absorbed their knowledge for personal gain, and then handed them to mortals to toy with!"


The monkey snickered, "Wow, Felgar, you used to be a badass!"


"What do you mean 'used to'?!" The duck snapped back at him.


The goddess shushed the pair, "I'm not done! Regardless, after the gods went their separate ways, I traveled here. I bound my body and soul to this location and slept for millennia under a spell I cast. The only way of breaking that spell was for the source of my hatred to show himself and here you are!"


The duck gulped, "So... What happens now?"


She licked her scaly crocodile lips, "I devour both your souls, that's what happens next!'


Jam panicked, "W-What?! But I'm his enemy, why would you eat my soul?'


Ammit rolled her eyes, "It's obvious you two are friends! After all, why would the duck come visit you after being locked in the museum?"


Felgar scowled, "Because I wanted to transform him, of course!"


The goddess cackled as she stomped her hippo feet, causing the exhibits to shake in the process, "That's rich! It's clear to one as ancient as myself that you too are buddies, despite your rivalry. Regardless, nothing will save you now!"


Ammit giggled as she opened her mouth wide and dangled Jam and Felgar over it. Jam sighed, "Way to go, stupid, now we're going to get eaten!"


The duck growled, "This is YOUR fault, you're the one who got himself locked in the museum!"


"I'm not the one who ticked off a goddess and destroyed the Egyptian pantheon, am I?"


The two bickered as oblivion approached them. They were about to be devoured by Ammit, truly a cruel and terrible fate! Nothing could save the pair now, it looks like this is the final story featuring our simian hero and demon duck dork...


THE END


The monkey scowled as he screeched at the narrator, "We're not ending it like that! This channel's not going to kill off the main character during the 10th anniversary!"


Okay, well then how would you like to end it?


Jam made happy chattering noises, "You'll see, just let me work my magic!"


Sounds good to me!


Ammit looked at Jam in confusion and pulled the pair away from her mouth, "Who are you talking to?"


"Don't sweat it, he's just breaking the fourth wall. Jam and I do that all the time!"


"So, you're a demon too?" She asked as she poked the tiny monkey's forehead.


Jam confidently tilted his head confidently and grinned, "Nope, I'm a god!"


Ammit and Felgar simply looked at Jam in utter silence, unable to say or do anything. After a few minutes, the silence was broken by the pair bursting into laughter. The monkey pouted, "It's true, I'm a god,"


Felgar tried to collect himself and hold back his laughter, "Ha, that's not true! Even though you lying is the only thing preventing us from getting eaten, I'm still not going to go along with that one,"


Ammit smirked and shrugged, "Sorry, but he's right, sugar! You're about as mortal as mortals come,"


Jam tilted his head confidently, "And how can you say I'm not a god? I've swapped bodies with the physical embodiment of the universe before!"


Ammit reached her claw over and stroked the monkey's tail with it, "Maybe the god of 'scratching his own rump', but hardly a god at all, I'd say!"


"I'm the 'god of body-swaps', actually!"


Ammit smirked, loosening her tail's grip a bit. This gave Jam the leeway to pry his arm free from the goddess' fuzzy tail, "Oh yeah? Prove it! Steal my body using your 'godlike powers'! Do that and not only will I not devour you and Fel-Ra, I will let you wear my body for a week. Fair deal?"


Jam nodded and reached into his pocket, pulling out a bottle of pills. He opened the bottle and swallowed a pill, before tossing it into Ammit's open crocodile mouth. She gagged a bit as she unintentionally swallowed the pill, "Did you just drug a goddess?!"


Jam nodded, "Yep, with my own prescription!"


"Why you..." Ammit said as she became light-headed, making it hard for her to talk or even think. Her tail loosened enough that Jam and Felgar were released from its grip. Jam too was hit by the effects of the pills and quickly passed out as soon as he hit the ground. Ammit followed suit, her massive goddess body falling to the ground with a loud thud.


Felgar was the only one who remained conscious and quickly floated back into the air, "Well, that was unpleasant!"


The demon duck floated over to Jam's unconscious body, "Time to get back to transforming you, mortal!"


Jam's body remained unconscious and un-moving, much to Felgar's dismay. He growled and floated over to Jam's body, slapping him hard in the face, "Wake up, monkey!"


The monkey's body stayed still, much to Felgar's frustration. The duck started to panic a little, "This isn't funny, Jam, wake up!" No matter how hard Felgar tried, Jam wouldn't wake up. The duck became desperate and stricken with fear. Sure, he hated Jam, but in a loving way! He began to cry, "Jam, this is my fault! If I had never stolen those stupid books, you'd be-"


Felgar then heard laughter from behind, "Awwww, I didn't know you cared, Felgs!"


Jam turned and saw Ammit's body lying there, smiling at him. Felgar scowled, "It's your fault that Jam is... Wait, did you just call me 'Felgs'?"


The goddess nodded and stood up, "Yep, because I'm Jam! That unconscious monkey behind you is Ammit in my body,"


The duck breathed a sigh of relief and wiped the tears from his eyes, "That's good, for a second I thought I lost you! I'd hate that because you're my fr-" Felgar stopped mid-sentence and closed his beak.


Jam narrowed her crocodile eyes at Felgar, "Go on!"


The demon duck crossed his arms, "Fine, I'll admit it, I guess deep down you and I are KINDA friends. You know, in a mischievous rival sorta way,"


"Thirty stories later and you FINALLY admit the truth!"


He sighed, "Whatever! So, why hasn't your body woken up yet?"


"Ammit's a goddess, she's never been a monkey before. Maybe it takes her mind a bit to acclimate to the new body! Regardless, I have some things to do before she wakes up,"


"Such as?"


"First, I gotta inspect the goods!"


Jam stood up abruptly, causing the ground to shake underneath her tremendous weight. Her new body was incredibly fat, complete with a very round belly. Her massive height made her increased weight all the more apparent, as she found her new body taking up most of the room they were in. She gripped her flabby belly tightly with her new lioness paws, feeling all tingly from the sensation of her soft fur rubbing against her grey skin. Being a chimera had its perks, after all!


Her body was adorned with magnificent golden Egyptian jewelry. One of Jam's biggest new attractions was her massive crocodile snout, which had a big pink horn at the end of it. She smile as she flexed her new lioness tail around, "I feel so POWERFUL!"


Felgar narrowed his eyes, "Exactly HOW powerful?"


"Powerful enough to sit on a demon and flatten him!" Exclaimed Jam as she turned and shook her rump threateningly in the duck's direction.


Felgar panicked as he attempted to fly away, "Oh no, you don't! I'm out-" Before Felgar could finish, Jam slammed her fat tush against the tiny duck's body. He was pinned underneath Jam's magnificent hippo rump and quickly flattened into a pancake.


Jam giggled, "What a fool you are, I'm a goddess! How can you escape a goddess? What a grand and intoxicating innocence!"


Felgar groaned from underneath the goddess' gigantic bottom, "I'm in too much pain to get the reference!"


The goddess stood up and laughed, the flattened duck still stuck to her backside, "It's from Morrowind, Felgar! It's only the best PC game ever made! You're thousands of years old and destroyed an entire pantheon, yet you haven't experienced a true cultural milestone?"


"Just shut up and reinflate me!"


Jam shrugged her shoulders, "If you insist!" She then proceeded to peel the duck off of her backside and pressed her crocodile lips against his beak. The pair began to kiss, much to Felgar's dismay. He was not only locking lips with his arch-enemy, but also his ex-girlfriend all at once! As they kissed, she began to blow air into the duck's beak which reinflated the flattened duck little by little with each breath. Unfortunately, Jam's new lungs were too powerful and she blew so much air into him that he overinflated! Felgar became an overinflated duck balloon. After inflating the duck, Jam pulled her lips away and grabbed hold of his beak. She then proceeded to stretch Felgar's beak and tie it into a knot! This prevented Felgar from both being able to speak or exhale the massive amount of air that was now stored in his stomach.


Jam smiled and released the duck-balloon, causing him to float helplessly around the room. The duck scowled, letting out muffled groans and grumbles through his tied up beak, "MRRRFFF MMMPH!" Squealed the duck balloon, prompting Jam to laugh at him.


"Hey, you said you wanted to be reinflated, you just didn't say by how much!"


Just then, Jam heard the sound of shuffling. He turned and saw Ammit tossing and turning in his new monkey body. Jam smirked and reached her lioness tail down towards the monkey, before curling her tail around his unconscious body and hoisting it up into the air. This caused Ammit to wake up completely, quickly noticing that he was now tiny a monkey. She gasped, "Eep! How did you steal my body?"


Jam smiled and pressed a clawed finger against the monkey's chest, "My trusty Body-Swap pills, they always work!"


Ammit growled as he thrashed about in his tiny body, "Impossible, only a god can swap bodies with another god! Which means..."


Jam nodded, "Yep, I really am a god!"


Felgar let out a muffled gasp, still unable to communicate in any other way. Ammit narrowed her eyes at Jam, "Impossible, I sensed no godly presence from you!


Jam winked, "Well, I'm technically more of a demi-god, but I do indeed have the blood of a god coursing through me!"


"But how?!"


Jam took a deep breath and then exhaled, "Well, I'm a tank-born monkey! I was created by a pair of computers using a single strand of hair. A hair specifically designed to create clones!"


"Hold up, you're a clone of Sun Wuknog?!"


"Not completely! While Sun Wukong does create clones using strands of his hair, said clones transform back into hair when defeated in battle. My computer parents used a strand of hair that was left after a clone was defeated in order to create me. While I don't possess Sun Wukong's magical powers, his mystical properties still coarse through my veins. It's that magic energy that makes most of the hot babes want to swap bodies with me. It also toys with the fabric of reality and makes it so I always return to my body regardless of scenario,"


Ammit gasped, "That's amazing! My apologies, I never took you as the 'Great Sage Equal to Heaven'! Now that I'm in your body, I can definitely feel a godly pull to it. You aren't any ordinary monkey!"


Jam nodded, "Of course I'm not! I'm the best monkey there is, bar none! Now per our agreement, I get to keep your body for a week,"


The monkey sighed, "That's fair, it is what we agreed upon!"


The new goddess raised a fuzzy finger, "However, I'm adding a couple more things to it. First off, I want you to forgive Felgar! While what he did was rotten to core, he's different than he was thousands of years ago,"


Ammit snickered as he looked over at the bulbous duck balloon, "You can say that again! Alright, you have a deal! What's the second thing?"


Jam then pulled Ammit towards her face while puckering for a kiss, "Secondly, I want to give you a smooch. Time to see how well these crocodile lips can kiss!"


Ammit smiled nervously as he was brought in for a kiss, "Dammit, why did I give up my goddess body to become this? Oh right, it's to become the chimp god of swaps!"


And so the pair kissed, all while the floating Felgar balloon watched. After their kiss, the three left the museum together! Jam and Ammit spent the next week as each other, having fun seeing things from new perspectives. Felgar was still surprised to learn Jam was a demi-god! Surely, Jam's newfound mythical status won't awaken any ancient evils greater than Felgar that could threaten the multiverse... Right?

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