This is going here since my primary FA account is currently disabled while I work through this. This was already shared on my Twitter but I figured it should go here as well.

Up until disturbingly recently (end of last year), I have had a track record of making highly transphobic statements. Do not be mistaken, these are not “you said something that could be interpreted as transphobic,” no, this was full-out, actual transphobia. Not just that, either, it came packaged with a whole slew of other toxic ideologies - I would basically say anything I knew would get the worst reactions out of people.

The things I said were entirely inexcusable, and if you were hurt by them, there aren’t enough words I could write to express how sorry I am. I think it’s even worse because I didn’t even say these things out of genuine belief, I just said them because I wanted to make other people as upset and frustrated as I felt at the time. Going through my old posts, I would say completely contradictory things as little as an hour apart. I was angry, stressed out, and venting my frustrations onto people and groups who didn’t deserve it in the slightest, and that would only feed back into the anger and create a vicious cycle of hate. It’s not a justification or a reason to forgive me, it’s just an explanation. I was in a dark place mentally for a lot of my teenage years, and I let that rotten part of me carry on with me like a tumor, and here I am, about to turn 20, still acting like a 4chan shitlord.

Around January of this year, I had more than a couple friends confront me directly about this behavior. I can’t imagine how surreal it must have been for them - some of them were themselves trans, and had never been disrespected by me directly, but then to see the sorts of things I’d been posting on Twitter…

Can you believe it, I actually tried to pass it off as a “joke.” I tried to suggest that all of these truly awful things I’d said - with vigorous conviction in threads hundreds of tweets long - were just “screwing around to get a rise out of people.” Well, it certainly did do that.

Over the past few years, I’ve lost a lot of friends, hurt and upset a lot of people, and in general made a small name for myself in this community for being a piece of shit. After this confrontation though, realizing I was about to lose even more friends, I finally agreed to try and change myself. I decided I would abstain from anything political.

And what do you know, my mental health took an almost immediate improvement. I became more sociable, happier, less stressed, and started talking to people I didn’t know for the first time in a long while. I eventually pinned a tweet on my profile asking my followers to keep me in check, and call me out if I got into these stupid spats again. I made a lot of new friends I wouldn’t have otherwise, coming out of my sheltered, fearful, and bigoted shell.

I quickly began to realize how vapid and empty a lot of the garbage I had been spewing really was. In a matter of only a couple months, I’ve felt like a completely different person. I can’t even stand half of the accounts I used to follow. As such I have with the help of some friends gone through and combed over my account, deleting as much of this garbage that I can find - rotten stuff from a rotten mind that no longer represents who I am. If you see any more of these old posts, I kindly ask you to show them to me so I can have them removed ASAP, and if you know any people my words have hurt, please pass along that I cannot express how sorry I am for whatever harm I’ve brought them.

I want to make this clear. I no longer harbor these beliefs, and I will no longer spread them in any manner. I fully support trans people. They are beautiful. Some of my best friends in the whole world are trans, and the fact that I’ve been actively spitting on their movement all this time… Well, again, I would completely understand if any of you reading this chose to no longer involve yourself with me. I would appreciate another chance to prove myself, but I know that some of you I’ve hurt too much already, or simply cannot for whatever reason give me that chance, and to those people, I totally understand, as I brought that upon myself. But I’ve already changed, and I’m only continuing to improve with the support of my friends.

I know it seems a stretch to ask that you believe me when I say in the span of four months I’ve become an entirely different person, but it really is the case. To any of my trans friends who weren’t even aware before seeing this - I love you. I truly do. I want nothing but the best for all of you. I am turning a new leaf, and I want you to all know that I’m deeply sorry for any hurt I’ve caused.