Be warned, I am writing this on a whim. I was originally planning to write out an explanation to a couple of friends, but then realized "Shouldn't everyone know?", and am in the middle of doing a deep clean and laundry around moving furniture.. so bear with me and feel free to ask questions, I'll just get to them later.

So Bridgette is in a weird spot right now. Actually opportune on my end of things, but as a character (publicly) , it's kinda rough.
Despite lack of progress on her content (her story, but anyway), and also not making a single image of her that I like... (possibly for a year now, since no matter how much I dig nothing satisfies me) our personal relationship has deepened.

Basically maybe roughly or almost a week ago I came to the realization that her story sucked. Actually I'm not sure if that was it at all, it's a bit far back now and I've been busy with other stuff, but that was definitely apart of it. It goes a bit like this: I had a 6 month period of back2back bullshit, along worth heavy perspective changes, and by the end of it, I ended up meeting her as a spiritual figure, and wanted to reflect that in her story. When someone sat down to read this, I only wanted them to feel comfortable, safe and alive, as she has made me feel for these past two years since. Anyways what I managed to get out (on top of the absolute and mostly lost pile of other crap I also happened to be writing in the background) was fucking shlock. Nothing schlock. Even the first iteration before any spiritual bullshit happened was better because there was something there and wasn't just a pointless pile of words. Also fart huffy, too.
The worst part is, that all of the flaws were intentional. I saw this beforehand, and mistook a warning for paranoia, and insisted. The nothing part... the attempt at being comfy? I told myself "it's possible for something to be nothing and be good at the same time!" and tried to look to the examples of things that were. The edgy nihilism was intended to be silly and hilariously wrong in contrast to Bridgette being optimistic self. This was on top of writing something.. or someone I was not super comfortable with. This led to me also writing several other chapters and ideas in the background trying to procrastinate writing the big thing. They were all nothing too, holding the same theme and idea from before.
All while telling myself, "It's fine, it'll be great, any progress is enough... I just have to get something done eventually...."
And that's pretty much exactly how to kill yourself creatively and take the idea with you.
Could explain myself more on the topic of "how the fuck did you not realize this sooner?!" but I've already plenty disrespected my utterly blessed amount of unemployed time (and self loathing is gAAAy!).

Besides shifting the date of focus and the execution, lorewise, I don't think much has actually changed at all! All of those ideas that I've referenced in the most recent dailies (From September or November maybe) are now super relevant and I can use and expand on them!!!
Now, I will rely on my strengths instead, which happens to be dark humor, and cute characters doing cute things. It will be in the form of a comic, it would simply just be executed better that way, and more quickly because I don't need to rely on such a rare whim as much. I don't want to go into too much detail just in case something changes again, but also Bridgette's birthday is coming up soon, so this development is well timed. I also like the images I draw of her now, so everything was worth it!!! There's 2 and they're already retconned but it feels really good.

Also spent a very hot 2 weeks last month on Averi's game, broken up by mental breaks, but roughly 2 weeks of working 6 hours a day on it. I would have gotten back on it more quickly this month, but my silly ass has spent a solid week or so trying to achieve like maybe 1 track that I've been insistent on conceiving. But I've actually decided to give up on it and go back to my regular schedule. So hopefully maybe a playable demo or something at some point this year (I am being generous, but anything can happen).

I'll make you all proud, you'll see, and if I end up killing myself while trying? I'll do so happily. I'll do it over and over again, because every little thing I manage to make that I can be proud of... It's better than anything in the world. Even if I got diagnosed with something terminal tomorrow, with what little I have, it would still be worth it. I will continue crashing and burning, maybe a lil because I don't know anything else, and maybe a lil because I like it a whole lot. ....And also because that's what I call love.