I know this seems very out of nowhere, but please bear with me.

I am no longer taking NSFW commissions in any capacity (including vore), and I will be moving accounts to reboot my online presence to move away from my association with fetish work. I’ll be on a temporary hiatus until I’m ready to take commissions again.

I’ve spent several years in the furry community, finding my niche among like-minded people and making friends through the connections I’ve built, and I wouldn’t trade it for the world. I’ve amassed a sizable following on my various social media profiles, and I have so many great clients and supporters who share and buy my art, and I’m eternally grateful for having the privilege of being able to support myself with my art. I am proud to call myself an artist, and have such a vast catalog of art to back me up.

But, despite working harder than ever and being the most successful I’ve ever been… I feel unfulfilled. Resentful, even. And it’s not the “taking commissions” part that’s been weighing on me.

It’s the fact that my entire online presence is defined by fetish art.

When I first started posting it and taking commissions for it, it felt empowering and subversive in a way that felt so freeing to me at the time. I was ashamed of my fetishes and sexuality for the longest time, and finding a community of people who not only shared similar interests, but were willing to pay me money to draw it for them?! It was perfect! I was set! Sure, maybe I had to dodge telling my family what exactly I was drawing, but it was worth it. Right?

At the time, yes. Now, though? I can’t stand to look at my own art half the time.

I hate what my online presence is. I can’t show most people what I do for work. I have so many pieces of art that I cannot share with everyone, only a very specific audience. I have to hide my art from my family and a lot of my friends, especially those who are minors or sex-repulsed or just… not interested in vore. Feeling overworked constantly, taking on so much work while severely undercharging, having people know me for just the fetishy pictures I draw like that’s my single defining trait? It’s taken a massive toll on my mental health, to the point that I questioned if I want to actually make art for a living and felt tempted to just stop drawing altogether, because it feels like such a massive chore…

I’ve begun to feel like, just like in a past abusive relationship, I am being used and only seen as a means to sexual gratification, not a person, not an artist with a life outside of the kink scene. Knowing that my online presence was inexplicably tied to sexuality and fetishes, when it was used so much against me? At first, like I said earlier, it felt empowering and good… but now it’s just reminded me too much of how I was only ever viewed as a means to an end to someone selfish and abusive.

Of course, I don’t blame ANY of my clients or supporters for this, so please don’t take this as an accusation of anyone being abusive toward me or treating me badly – nobody has. It’s just an explanation for the way my brain has been processing everything, and to show how this has been affecting my mental health. It’s dug up traumatic memories I’d suppressed for years, just being reminded of the FEELING of being used just for sex, and my job shouldn’t be doing that to me! I have to do this for the sake of healing from my trauma that’s affected me so deeply – I can’t keep ignoring how much it’s ripping me apart. And I can’t keep pushing myself so hard constantly, for something that no longer feels good or rewarding.

Earlier this past month, I took a small break for my mental health and a family emergency, and during that, I took the time to just… draw. No deadline. No demand to do anything in particular. Just drawing for me, like I used to. I figured it would help me unwind and feel more grounded, maybe ease the burnout feeling. And as I did, I realized how much I’ve been depriving myself of what I love. I love my art, I love to draw, and I want to love my work again. I’ve been having an amazing time doing projects and illustrations for my fiance and I, and I can feel what’s been missing for so long. I no longer want to feel beholden to a certain fetish, feel like I have to sequester and hide my art when what I want more than anything is to share it with people. I want to do what makes me happy instead of just what makes me money.

I still obviously like vore and porn, that won’t ever change, and I hold absolutely no ill-will whatsoever to people who choose to draw these subjects for a living – maybe one of these days, I’ll post these things again, unattached to my public social media presence. But for now, the fetish artwork path is no longer one I want to walk on. It’s now something I only want to share with my significant other and close friends, not with strangers on the internet. It’s a personal thing to me and not really something I want to keep public, and I’ll be honest, I’m sick of people talking to me JUST for fetish talk.

I’m obviously going to finish up my queue as soon as possible, and I encourage anyone who I owe commissions to please keep in contact with me as I finish your project. For my Patrons, I will finish up a final round of sketch requests before I shut down my Patreon at the end of the month. I will also be shutting down my discord server, so if you are on it and have things you want to save, I recommend doing that ASAP. Any accounts I have under “SoftSpots” will be kept up as an archive and I will link to my new social media once I establish them, so those interested can still follow me.

I know I’ll take a financial hit, since I know some people following me are only interested in my vore art. If you unfollow, I understand – I don’t want you to feel forced to follow my work if it’s not something you’re interested in. But I appreciate anyone who’s here for my art and myself, no matter the subject matter. Without all of you reading this, I’d be absolutely miserable and still stuck as a retail wage slave! I’m blessed to be able to do this as my job, and I hope that I can still make my living even if I’m going to be doing SFW art.

I’ll take the time to set up new social media accounts or retrofit existing ones and link them on all my platforms so people can follow me again. Thank you so much for reading this. I love you all and I look forward to where things are going to go from here! <3