Hasn't been easy lately, it never has,
art has always been my hobby and I love making things, yet as time goes on and years pass I feel like creativity and imagination is leaking out of my head and in due time nothing will be left.

There's so many projects I want to do but I just can't get to them struggling to come up with any kind of story or characters or world building or anything at all really,

does not help that as mentioned art is but just my hobby I do sometimes in my spare time if I feel like it, and despite drawing ever since I was a child I didn't exactly ever really improve much, not that I could personally see at least..
why? I have never been able to actually get myself to sit down and study things any artist does or really put in the time to just LEARN art properly I've tried a few times each time just giving up after I suppose executive dysfunction just making me sit there staring at a blank paper or web page I was going to read for hours nevermind starting a video and spacing out retaining none of the information presented to me.

It does bring with itself also constant doubts and impostor syndrome you might have noticed that my art as a result is not exactly very consistent and I do struggle with anatomy and gestures and a whole heap of other things I suppose a lot of it might also appear rather stiff, nevermind the fact despite drawing I hardly actually know much about art itself at all,
I mostly freehand my art just putting down lines drawing a face and going from there
sometimes it looks good often it doesn't.
sometimes I do worry I might as well just be some kind of fraud...
[side note to that I am very happy that regardless of that people seem to still like some of the art I do appreciate that I'm happy it appealed to you in some way and hope you got a bit of enjoyment out of it at the very least.]

I probably will not be mentioning this again but my mental health is not great never has been
I suffer from a lot of mental illnesses and health issues (nothing huge or severe but enough to worsen my quality of life overall) And have been fighting with depression for quite a few years even with countless therapies and several different meds it does not make any of this easier..
memory loss and just struggling to have my brain function at all at times included.
Maybe I just haven't found the right meds or therapist yet I don't know...

Some of the characters I've made I really like and I truly do want to show people the fun little projects I want to do,
space oddity expecially is a project I started just because it's something I wanted to see more of
I intend it to be a silly 70s sci-fI comic focused on Jet's miss adventures and exploration of the wacky and yet intended to be grounded worlds he'll encounter in outer space, think Planetary worlds that look cartoonishly wacky , psychedelic and perhaps even nonsensical yet do work in ways that are logical and not actually too far off from our very own planet, not necessarily featuring a set story or goal no big bad to defeat so technically the project could go for as long or short as I want.
The problem with it is though that I just do not know how to pull it off, I suppose I'm desperately trying to do something that I'm just not good at.
I suppose biting off so much more than I can chew...

I more and more feel like I will never get to them, I feel like I'm running out of time and that if I don't work on them now they'll never actually see the light of day.
I do still have a few decades hopefully but in my mind I just can't help but stress about that I could be dead tomorrow for all I know, so everything has to be done now but that just makes me end up not even knowing how or with what to start at all, or perhaps my creativity just simply runs out completely way before I kick the bucket who knows.
less I mention juggling work and medical appointments.

This will probably be something I'll delete later
I do prefer keeping more to myself usually but I suppose i just had to put it out somewhere.