This is one of the earliest German phrases I learned, and will always be one of my favorites. It translates into that classic line we've all heard before, "We've gotta' talk." This line tickles me, because someone always says it before giving you bad news. When I received a letter from the company that was teaching us German when we first moved here, this was the line the letter opened with. So, the words that stuck with me the most over these years, said by a company that exist to teach foreign languages, was to break up with me. As I already read back over this entire anecdote, I realize I've started out more dark, than amusing. But, the best title for this journal still stands. "We must talk."

I've been avoiding ripping this band-aid off sooner because it's just bad news. I won't be attending AC 2019. Interestingly enough, the reason is very much the same as it was last year -- which is a reason I can't really talk about. In a nut shell, some outside-the-norm stuff was causing my personal life, with regard to planning trips and stuff to be put on hold, until a point that passed where attending a convention was impossible. I don't have to tell all you con goers that there's a lot of booking that goes into AC. Advance notice of time and money, being the primary factors. I felt confident after this happened the last time, that I could promise I'd attend the following year, and here we are. I can say, confidently, I WANT to come back to AC and see you all again. But right now, it's not something I can commit too confidently.

This year, like the year before and the year before that was just filled with an obstacle after obstacle that I don't want to bore any of you with. What's important is that I am for the most part in good health, even though there seem to be increasingly more and more days in a week that can be a struggle. My day-to-day is secure, and -- as someone with an ever-optimistic outlook -- sunshine and rainbows, even when the car needs a new battery, when I need to get a hold of my landlord to get an electrician out to my flat, or a hold of the city to find out how long the water is suppose to be out... etc etc. What's most important to me for you all to know and take away from this journal, is that I am still, as ever motivated to be an artist, and that you can expect to continue seeing the illustrations I produce.

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I want to also address those of you who I still owe commissions. I've never stop intending to give you your pieces. Moreover, there have been a couple months now that I've sat down at the drawing table and looked through my list that you, who have commissioned me, are still on. It's occurred to me though that as long as some of you have waited, there's a very good and justly deserved feeling that you may just prefer a refund rather than my art. I wouldn't judge any of you for feeling that way. So for the next few weeks, if you are one of my customers who would just feel better with a refund, please let me know. After that point, I will assume that you wish to still get your piece finished. And believe me when I say, there are ideas in my head for many of the pieces in my queue that I'm anxious to still see visualized on paper. I can assure you of that, if you can reassure me that your time and patience is still worth it. To be clear though, there will be no hard feelings to any of you who would simply ask for your money back. I whole-heartedly understand.

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I've been dragging my feet on writing one of these journals because I hate the idea of disappointing so many of you that just want to see my art. I'm sorry to those of you who have already been disappointed. And I am forever grateful to those of you who are still fans; who are still eagerly awaiting my next upload. It WILL happen. I can promise you that above anything else. Immediately after I post this, I will be throwing back the curtains and sitting down at my drawing table.