Then an IED goes off. The dog and hyena are killed instantly. Shrapnel mangles everything above the lizard's waist, blinding her and requiring her arms and tits to be amputated. The wolverine avoids the brunt of the shockwave, but a shard of the dog's severed femur strikes her in the neck, paralyzing her from the neck down, leading to her death years later in an assisted living home, choking on her own aspirated saliva when the neglectful staff ignores her call light.

What's up, Doughnuts! Its my birthday today. Cake and ice cream is on its way.

Heyo, Dough-Nuts™ (a colloquial term for subscribers to the Snack-Spanner® extended family)! I do the Twitter, and its where I post drawings that are too shit even for scraps!

https://www.twitter.com/snackspanner

Im still working out what I'm actually good at with art, which is also kinda held back by how busy I've been lately with nursing school and all. Something I want to be good at is the intricacies of form and anatomy and the expression that can come of it. I've always admired how some artists can capture the subtle bumps and edges and blemishes of a (usually humanoid) creature, and use that to give it more of a... feelable feel. Also stories and worldbuilding, I'm a real sucker for continuity, and even more so if it's all set in someone's original world. It's one of the (many) reasons I enjoy Mick's Vilous, Coracleboat's Metanarrative Romp, and Valsalia's... Valsalia so much. Hecka worldbuilding and bony prominences as far as the eye can see.
Cus if you think about it, living with such severe restrictions to your mobility, your autonomy, and even your identity would, to put it lightly, kinda suck! And that thought is... oddly appealing, like it gives a bit of life to some picture of a lady with massive boobs. Course, that's also kinda sad cus I'm not that big a fan of suffering. So, what if they find a way to live with -- or even enjoy -- their unfortunate(ly hawt) situation, either through mechanical assistance, or social support, or just good old fashioned indominable human(oid) spirit? Now everyone wins and it's hot and interesting and there's probably a story in there too!
Also I haven't drawn any fat guys cus... I dunno, really. I'm not opposed to drawing guys, everyone's beautiful in their own ways, I guess I just havent gotten around to it. I'd like to, though, so maybe you'll see some when I get more of a chance to do the drawing thing.

One of the things that's been slowing me down lately was a *quirk* with the program I've been using, Krita. Any time I'd try to do anything, the program would set its process priority to idle and proceed to take ages to do the thing. And by slow, for instance, I'd try to lasso select a bit of my critters, and it'd take several seconds just to acknowledge that I'd asked it to do something!

But hey, figured out a fix! Sort of! In my desperation, I tried setting Krita and my tablet driver to run as administrator, and wouldn't ya know, Krita started running better! Still sets itself to idle, but I'm thinking that's not nearly as related as I thought.

Neat!

Hi! I've been kinda busy for the last few days, if you're wondering why my sporadic schedule has been just as sporadic as it normally is. Not too worry, I don't intend on taking any more several-year-long breaks, we both deserve better than that!

Aw geez I just remembered I promised some guy a request to draw his neon hyena person about half a decade ago. Totally forget who that was. If you're that guy, hit me up and I'll draw your character sometime in the next few years.

Stolen, sort of, from Daniwolf's journal http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/2223817/

[ ] you meow/bark to get attention "You yell at people until they look at you."
[X] you find pets toys amusing Amusing in how little toy you get for 20 bucks.
[ ] you get hyper by the smell of catnip I'm one of those cats who neither reacts to catnip nor is a cat.
[ ] you growl/hiss when someone gets too close to your food "You're completely devoid of manners and tact while eating."
[ ] you growl/hiss when someone you dislike is too close to you "You enjoy making people hate you more than they already do and for good reasons."
[ ] you purr/shake your leg when someone shows you affection I guess its acceptable if someone's stroking your kicky spot.
[X] if someone tosses a ball, you chase it and brings it back Always a good idea because, hey, free ball.
Total: 2

[x] you love to be scratched behind the ear Its a sensitive spot, nothing wrong with that.
[x] you love fish/meat This doesn't prove anything!
[x] you like to stick your head out trough the window of a moving car (Only occasionally) "I love blinding myself with bugs and signs taking off bits of my scalp."
[x] you like when people pet your head Only the top, anything else is kinda weird.
[x] people can make you stop doing stuff by hitting you on the nose with a newspaper It is pretty distracting.
[ ] you think feathers are fun to play with Cats are dumb.
Total: 5

[X] you sleep a lot during daytime "I'm a lazy bastard."
[ ] you enjoy scaring birds "I'm a dickish bastard."
[ ] you lick peoples faces to show you like them "I'm a tactless, unlovable bastard."
[ ] you bite people if they annoy you "I'm a violent, unstable bastard"
[ ] you tend to steal food from your friends/family's plate when you have eaten all of yours "I'm a thieving bastard"
[X] milk or water is your favorite drink "I think breathing is cool."
Total: 2

[x] you own a collar and you enjoy wearing it Only cool if in conjunction with a leather bodysuit with eye-zippers.
[x] you own a leash and enjoy wearing it If only I had someone to walk me..
[x] you own animal ears/tail/paws or a fursuit May as well ask me if I have a tricycle and/or a tank. Yes to that, by the way.
[x] you enjoy long walks in the park Didn't you hear? Only furries can go to the park. Thank the mayor for that one.
[ ] you meow/bark when you see something you want If someone did this to me, I'd uppercut the bastard then buy the thing for myself.
Total: 4

[ ] you call your hands and feet "paws" I wouldn't even call most furries' hands 'paws' since they are definitely not paws cus thumbs preclude paws.
[ ] you tilt your head when you do not understand what someone is talking about "I enjoy looking retarded in addition to being retarded."
[ ] you run to the door when someone mentions a walk "I enjoy acting retarded in addition to being retarded."
[X] you really enjoy cuddling I guess it could be a furry exclusive if they cuddle butt to nose.
[X] you stretch your body and whimper a bit every morning when you wake up Honestly, whoever doesn't do this should, gets the blood moving.
[ ] you can wake up and go back to sleep right away after looking around That's just weird.
Total: 2


[ ] you have your favorite spot besides your bed where you like to sleep I have a favorite spot next to that I like to sleep even more. Its called my bed.
[ ] you meow or bark very often "I frequently yell for no reason."
[ ] you hide when you get scared "I'm a wuss."
[X] you run to the door to see who it is every time someone comes in to the house Yeah I'd be kind of alerted if someone came in my house, but not because Im a furry.
[ ] you like to chase flying insects and try to catch them with your bare hand Kind of a shame I cant to that.
[x] you tend to chew on stuff a lot "I chew my food before swallowing it."
[ ] you like to do tricks to get a treat "I'm a whore for pay."
Total: 2

[x] you own a wearable item/tag with your name on it "I enjoy not losing my luggage while traveling."
[x] you refer to your self as an animal "I'm completely delusional."
[ ] your username has something to do with animals I didnt touch this one, Daniwolf really doesnt think there's an animal in its name.
[x] your e-mail has something to do with animals Does having your inbox full of donkey porn count? It does, doesn't it?
[ ] if you get a bleeding wound, you lick it to make it feel better "I think bandages are for nerds and infections are sexy."
[X] you look for edible stuff often Especially when hungry!
Total: 4

[x] you often find yourself looking through the window for a long time "I'm bored and/or unable to operate a door."
[x] you like to say hi to strangers "I like to make weird animal noises at random people and then bite them."
[x] you like to be petted when you have done something good And spanked when Ive been naughty.
[x] people think you act like a pet "People tell me to stop peeing on their carpet."
[ ] you growl/hiss at stuff you do not like "I dont know how to use my words."
[ ] you like to eat grass "I think parasites are boss."
[ ] if you get wet, you shake to get rid of the water "I think whiplash is an effective and totally cash alternative to towels."
Final Total: 23

Take your score and muiltply it by 2 Cus "Enjoys eating food" is on par with "Shrieks animal sounds at pedestrians".
46% Furry Now if only this meant something...

And yes I'm still miffed she blocked me. Wouldnt have been so bad if she didnt completely deserve someone to knock her down a peg. When your artwork uses the same head for 80% of your artwork and you act like a bored housewife, you kind of need someone to step in and say "Hey, knock it off."

Some time ago I wrote a quick article about fat furries and how those what draw and write them dont always know just how wonderfully huge they are and totally flub the size and weight of their flab. Normally, you just accept the figures given about the terminally tubby tit Titanic drawn or written and dont really question it, partly because numbers and dimensions only matter to gigantic nerds, and partly because crowbarring dense mathematical calculations into a scene depicting flabby furry demonesses getting themselves off force-fattening other furries with magical tentacles tends to break the flow quite a bit. So as a gigantic, fat-loving nerd, I set out to figure out just how fat all these furries really were, and predictably the results were predictable. Enjoy!

How Fat Is Fat -- A Study of the Relationship Between Size and Weight in Fat Furries.
By The Dishonorable Dr. Sudessa Perdell Lagget Esq., III Part Two.

I was viewing some of Miss Chubeko's drawings and, oddly enough, started thinking. What I thought was that these enormous, bloated creatures that are more fat and skin than muscle and bone could not possibly weigh only a few tons. Ever since I read Sometimes Luck Is Not So Good ( http://www.roundhouse.wulfnet.net/s.....timesluck.html ) , a story just about as well written as the title, it got me thinking about just how unbelievably heavy these impossibly obese characters were. So, being the obsessively nerdy over-thinker that I am, I used fancy mathemalogical computifications to find an extremely rough estimate to the actual weight of these fatty fatty fat-fat furries.

In this example, we'll take Tina, the main character and lard balloon of the above story. By the end of her weight gain, she was estimated to weigh somewhere in the neighborhood of 10 tons. Twenty thousand pounds of soft, jiggly blubber. Sounds like a lot of fat, doesn't it? Well, of course it's a lot, it's an ungodly amount, its more fat than nearly anyone can possibly imagine, and for the most part we can just imagine from there just how impossibly huge her body had become. But, Good Ol' Mr. Dune decided to take the description of Tina's monstrous blob-like body to the next level, as he gave this string of dimensions:

"Her belly was fifty-six feet wide, six-nine long, and nine feet tall. Each of her colossal breasts was nearly double its early size, nineteen feet wide, twenty eight long and six feet thick. Her legs had been absorbed into her ever expanding rear which was fifty feet wide and just over eight feet tall."

That right there is an enormous body. The fact that she's described in this way, her body written out in terms of cubic feet, and that if it weren't for the context (and her insanely generous bosom) you wouldn't even know that this was a person, it goes to drive home the fact that she's so incredibly large, so impossibly fat, so... inhuman as to boggle the mind with her shape. This furry is unbelievably fat, but is this tremendous cache flesh weigh the 20,000 pounds of furry as estimated before? Well, only one questionable way to find out!

"Her belly was 56 feet wide, 69 long, and 9 feet tall."

Plugging the numbers into the ABE ELLIPSOID VOLUME CALCULATOR( http://grapevine.abe.msstate.edu/~f.....ellipsoid.html ) , which we'll be using throughout the experiment, gives us 18,208 cubic feet of soft, lard-shapen belly.

"Each of her colossal breasts was nearly double its early size, nineteen feet wide, twenty eight long and six feet thick."

Assuming she has two breasts, this is another 2,386 cubic feet stacked all together.

Her rear was a bit of an enormous problem, the writer only gave the width and height (50 and 8, respectively), but not the depth, so I assumed it to be about as deep as it was tall, at 8 feet, giving me 1,675 cubic feet of butt.

The dimensions of her enormous arms weren't given either, as they never are to my nerdly disappointment, which I'll just assume, giving the writer too much credit, that they are included in the size of her belly. Despite the fact they're likely the size of her breasts if they've already long since enveloped her hands and are moving in on her head.

Thus, Tina's very rough volume would be somewhere to the sound of 22,263 cubic feet. That is a lot of furry, and shows that I know how to use Microsoft Calculator! But, again, is this 20,000 pounds of furry? Well, let's plug in some numbers and find out!

According to Google, fat is a similar density to water, which we all know gets very heavy very quickly. Various sources listed fat as weighing somewhere between 56 and 58 pounds per cubic foot. Already, we can see that Tina is going to be incredibly heavy. We'll take the upper limit, 58, which I found somewhat more frequently, and plug that into her volume.

22,263 cubic feet times 58 pounds per cubic foot equals 1,291,254 pounds.

1,300,000 pounds. Tina weighs one million three hundred thousand pounds, around 64 times the estimate.

This number was somewhat shocking to me when I found it. I knew that Tina was very heavy to begin with, much more than 20,000 pounds, but well over a million? That's when I realized that most fat furries didn't know just how fat their fat furries were. It showed that even though a ton of fat is a lot of fat, it just isn't the room-filling numbers we all imagined it to be. It also showed that fat is really heavy, really really heavy, and that most fat furries are attributed weights far below what they would realistically be. Cool, huh?

Oh, and the last few paragraphs contain spoilers.

Oddly enough, a surprising number of non-furry fat artists are a lot more accurate with their ton-slinging. Then again, many of them either don't give a number or keep the girl under a ton. Still interesting, though.

Case in point, Carol Yager ( http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/d.....e/heaviest.htm ) was fairly close to a ton and she still fit on a bed, for the most part.

I could go on about the physiology of these monstrously obese characters, how their body would theoretically work to keep themselves alive and, most importantly, fat, but I think this document has enough full frontal nerdity. That'll have to be another story!

Thank you for fat artwork! Its things like this what inspire me to do these things. I wouldn't just rattle off a couple-page dissertation on a subject I wasn't a fan of.

Thanks for reading!

Just a quick notice; though I may not favorite many drawings and pictures and delicious scenes of curvacious bizarre biology, I still love darn near much of whomever I have watched. If I were to favorite every image I enjoyed from all of my favorite artists, I'd have the entirety of everyone's galleries in there, minus of course the ones with dicks and babies and juice. Also it'd replace that thing Oniontrain drew, and I dont think Im ready to make that change just yet.

Course, I could play favorites and fave the stuff that really stands out, kind of like what the feature was designed for. *shrug* Makes sense, I guess.

I finally uploaded something to replace that hideous fat rabbit... hours ago. I mean, for what it is its pretty alright, but gosh darn it all to heck was it unnerving to see every time I refreshed the page to see if anyone left me a little artistic validation to validate my doing any of this, which I totally dont need cus I'm such a relentless self-supporter.

Up next: More hideous blobfurs!

You know what I dont like? When people delete everything on their page over some pissy emotional bullshit. Not only are you broadcasting to the world that you're a precious little diva who cant take the horrors of personal interaction and that you're more than happy to take out your hissy-fit on us, the people who actually enjoy your artwork. Take a fucking Prozac and get back in the booth, leave your temper tantrums off the internet and keep your artwork on it.

So, in reply to all that, I pledge to keep everything on my page until the Sun explodes. Maybe then someone'll take my example, think its the good idea that it is, and not delete everything when someone says their shit sucks.