So on the plus side, I got to fix my aunt's AND my mother's cars at the same time. I'm no mechanic but I know my way around an engine bay well enough.

Got to see my granddad too. Stayed for a few hours, shootin' the breeze...

Said, "I'll see you 'round." once all was said and done. "No you won't, son. I'm not long for this world." was his reply.

Fuck. There went my composure, though I made sure he didn't see me crying- don't want to upset him.

I can't imagine what it's like, knowing you might not wake up one morning...but it'd probably be a relief, for him, and his wife. Cancer's taken such hold that he's covered in (some of them massive) tumours, otherwise being skin and bone. Morphine's not easing the pain much either. He's beaten cancer more times than he has any right to, with how he's drank and smoked for most of his ninety-plus years on this planet. At least when he finally goes, he's still gonna go as himself, not some...husk, like my uncle.

Can only take solace in the fact he won't be hurting anymore.

I'm sorry these past couple journals have been so grim, but it kinda helps to type it out. Hopefully soon things start looking up.

No, I don't mean the meme. Not this time anyway.

My uncle finally...no, that's not right.

The shell that was once my uncle, finally died. Dementia claimed his mind a good few years ago- to me, he died then. I made my peace with that back then...orrrr, so I thought. Wake up this morning, get the news, just kinda stopped...sat there...thought about it...and am kinda in a weird place. Grieving but not properly, if you know what I mean. Like when you hear someone a friend knows has died- you're sad to hear but not like hearing a family member's gone.

I hadn't seen my uncle for like ten years. Last time I saw him was well before the diagnosis, so I've got nothing but good memories of the crazy old bastard that he was. In a way I'm kind of glad it's finally over: it's closure for my cousins, my aunt. And an end to his suffering, because from what I've heard he was quite...distressed, very often. Like knowing he wasn't remembering things but could never recall what.



I always missed the old git. But never moreso than now.

Yeah, I take that back. 2020 can get fucked with a rusty spork. Wish this health bar in the sky would go away though...

On a more serious note, about time I actually took a look back at the year gone by for once. Both on a personal and wider, scientific note. It's going to be quite a text wall, so strap in.

---

Personal-
- Caught COVID very, very early. Didn't know it at the time, but by some miracle of coincidences, didn't give it to my coworkers or classmates at college. Probably did me some favours on the immunity front, in fairness, and yes I went to give blood plasma to help out. Did a number on my lungs, unfortunately!

- Got out of college with flying colours, or thereabouts. Due to what felt like a never-ending lockdown, our grades were calculated based on work done throughout the year and previous, which was plenty enough to see me get just a shade under my predicted grades (instead of triple Distinction, only got double and a Merit, which tbh is quite fine by me!).

- Got accepted to university! Currently studying Astrophysics down at the University of Portsmouth, with every intent to at least take it to the Master's stage, if not a PhD outright!

- Started really trying to stream this year, especially during lockdown. After dabbling with Mixer and Twitch, finally settled on the latter ( https://www.twitch.tv/chroma_dragon btw /shamelessplug). While I've been inactive over Xmas, trying to get a steady, saturday-focused schedule going, primarily in simulator based games (Arma 3 in particular) but dabbling in others (Space Engineers, Destiny 2). Gonna double down next year, try and get more active on that front! Possibly the likes of Elite: Dangerous, F1 2020, more Destiny 2, Automation....

---

Worldwide, in general-

- With the start of the pandemic shutting everything down, and cases beginning to go up exponentially here in the UK, we got to watch as F1's R&D departments started Project Pitlane, where they effectively pooled their resources into tooling up new equipment to help in the fight against COVID. Some of the race drivers living in the UK even opting to help the delivery services, getting foodstuffs and the like to those in need. Same rang true for those teams based abroad.

- Polio was wiped out in Africa. There's only two countries left on the planet that are threatened by this debilitating virus (which, to those who don't know, tends to target young children and can lead to permanent paralysis, or death if certain muscles are targeted. There is no cure, but the vaccine would appear to be almost totally effective), which happen to be neighbours as it is.

- The global lockdowns lead to a substantial drop in carbon emissions across the world, 7% from 2019. Doesn't sound like much? That's 2.4 BILLION tons taken out of the atmosphere. While this ultimately won't do much in the long run by itself, if emissions drops can keep going through the years, we might just avoid the worst of the predictions for the future.

- Likewise went for other forms of pollution. The most striking example would be two pictures of Venice's canals: pre-lockdown, the water was somewhat murky, whilst during lockdown, they'd gone crystal clear. Obviously not a sustainable state of existence, but maybe, just maybe, a steadily approachable goal.

- Space exploration had a great year. New rover landed on Mars, SpaceX had their excellent Crew Dragon trial paving the way for much cheaper launches and thus exploration, and we had a spacecraft land on an asteroid! The latter instance being like trying to hit a bullet with a ball bearing, when both are subject to substantial cross-wind.

- More than 370 religious leaders banded together, from all faiths, to call for an end to the so-called 'Conversion Therapy', a disgusting practice that often tends more toward outright torture in some cases to 'cure' someone of their homosexuality. They also acknowledged that historical traditions have not helped the matter, fully admitting that religion in many cases is culpable in this 'therapy' existing; not that I'm slating them for this, I should add, but I respect that admittance of culpability. Hopefully this calling will spread ever further.

- Researchers developed synthetic blood cells with all the shapes and capabilities of natural cells. A capacity is shown for loading 'foreign' chemicals such as drugs and haemoglobin onto these cells, giving them extra functionality as a delivery medium.

- Researchers discover a parasitic microbe in the Microsporidia fungal group that can block mosquitoes from carrying Malaria.

- Over 6,000 prisoners are pardoned in Africa by the presidents of Egypt and Zambia, commemorating African Freedom Day.

- A certain oompa-loompa got fired by the people despite his best efforts to meddle with the process.

- Costa Rica becomes the first central-American country to legalise same-sex marriage.

- 14 nations that own 40% of the world's coastline banded together to create the world's largest ocean sustainability initiative. This focuses on restoring fish population stocks as well as cleaning up plastic pollution.

- China's Wildlife Protection Law expanded to the seas, and they started to protect the Pangolin, possibly the single most trafficked animal in the world.

- Drugs are steadily being decriminalised across the globe as more and more medicinal uses are found. Cannabis legalized all across America, with psychedelic mushrooms next on the list for treatment of conditions such PTSD.

- Despite all the economic doom and gloom, another Great Depression has in fact not happened. For now. Whether it happens or not still remains to be seen, particularly the bounce-back from COVID.

- And who can forget Captain Sir Tom Moore, the WWII veteran who intended to raise £1000 for the NHS before his 100th birthday by walking 100 lap around his nursing home's garden. News of the veteran's efforts went viral, resulting in a colossal £39 million raised. This effort saw him get an honorary promotion to Colonel of the Army Foundation College, as well as a knighthood.

---

That's quite enough from me for now. I'll see about fixing up a quick "Science stuff that happened in 2020" at some point, hopefully tomorrow, and specifically space-based given that's where my future interests are going. With some luck, 2021 will be better for us all now that COVID-19 vaccines are being rolled out in ever-increasing quantities, so that we might finally see an end to this infernal pandemic.


To my fellow Elite CMDRs, and to those whose heads aren't quite as high up in the stars: Fly Safe.

Tai, out.

...where you just randomly feel fuckin' terrible out of nowhere? Some minor university woes aside, finally moving out of my old spot was something I desperately needed, and for the past few weeks have generally been pretty good (even if I wound up seriously regretting drinking as much as I did on my birthday. Pro-tip, folks: don't drink a litre of whiskey in one night). And yet outta nowhere it's like someone's dropped a goddamn depression anvil on my head.



Hey, I'm actually bothering to use my journals a bit more. Finally.

Yep. 28 today. That last journal about roll on 2020? Fuck past me. At least I'm finally at university, gunning for a master's in Astrophysics.

And good riddance to the 2010s. There was never a decade I wished more to be rid of than you. Hopefully 2019 signalled the start of things looking up!

Wish you all the best for the road ahead, wherever you may be.

Getting a great many people coming up to me asking what my plans are for the new year. I tell them "I dunno, I've not got 2020 vision!"







Yes, I did just use a journal for a stupid pun. If I had to suffer that one, so do you all!

Has it really been that long since my last journal? Man, it shows how little I use that function.

But yeah, go me. 27 years old now. And I'm workin' on my birthday, woo! At least this year's goin' better than the last, far, far better actually.

World's not ended yet, for those not yet in 2019. So dearly hope it'll be a better year than 2018, given all the shit that went wrong! Have a good one, you lot.

Huh, first journal on here. Neat. Forgot about that.

So, yeah, hit 26 today. Bloody hell this year can't end fast enough.