I lost faith in a lot of folks.

There's so many layers of what just happened this week.

I don't have the mental capacity or patience to go over it all. I don't even want to "debate." Because it's dubious that it will be a debate. It's always an argument.

I been silent for a long time cause I really, really hate arguing, especially towards folks who really don't care what I have to say. Just gotta win. So what's the point wasting breath?

Point I am getting at is, we as a nation chosed to ignore the blatant promises and gripes from a madman. And brush him off and want to believe nothing bad can happen to all of us. Not just me and who ever these folks are hoping to harm. But to themselves.

Good job, may God have mercy on us all.

I will no longer feel terrible for staying silent. I am just going do what I can to help those around me that I know didn't vote to target us all. Sorry, I don't know any of you. Maybe best I do not.

Selfish title.

Not sure where to begin.

I'll try to make it short.

Step dad been losing his mind for years now. Refuses to seek help. It gotten so bad that he lost his job of over 20 years in Mukilteo. Then got very behind on payments to the point their home was for closed in September. During the whole time, he refused to seek help. But expected us to bail them out. Mom refused to do anything.

Then this realtor decided to check on them when she noticed they did nothing to fix their situation, and was close to eviction date. Which was April 5. Met them at home, and told them they got 3 options. Eviction, sale the home, or reverse mortgage. The later would have given them a couple years rent free with their debts to the home paid. But after couple years, they need to start paying again. Step dad is in no position to work. And he did try. He has a couple jobs since he was fired. And....he was fired from those too.

Anyway, was able to sell the house. Got the estate sale done. Once the closing is done on Thursday, they'll be moving here to Indiana.

We are not able to deal with them. Since they refuse to admit they have issues and work with us, there's not much we can do. We are going to try to guide them at least. But...well...there's a lot going on. I am just stressed out. Especially since they are back in WA. Not much I can do here other than try to prepare here. But step dad is so far in what we think is dementia that all he does is forget what was told. Then demand to know why his furniture is gone and what the hell everyone saying they are not living here anymore.

And mom refuses to step in and do more than be a manager. She wants him to drive them from WA to IN. Yes, he's done it many times before in the past to visit my sis here. But, from what I been told, he needs to be reminded where he's going most of the time now. And mom expects him to remember where he's at that moment and where to go? While pulling a box trailer behind his pickup?

I don't have time and funds to go out there and take over the drive. And he'll get insulted if I do.

Sorry, just wanted to post all this. It's weird seeing the home on a lot of home sales websites. Seeing the house, even my bedroom posted up for the world to see.

Yep, again. Do have a great Christmas, everyone.

If getting covid is a vacation. It is not. BUT, at least I can get time away from work and catch up on sleep. As if that's easy with covid.

I am trying to find humor here.....but it's really not funny. Mainly cause, there's many lost from this. And I think I should be okay. Just, well, this is still an ongoing issue.

I want to say is, take your shots. I have. I have since it was available. Vaccines are not going to make you invincible to any virus. They just help your body be ready for it when the real deal pops up. This is the second time I had covid. And I was vaccinated by the time I had my first round with it. The experience sucked. But it was only a bad exprience. I have a half sister in North Carolina who went through the whole ordeal. She still carries an oxygen tank in the back of her car incase she needs it after that experience. And she avoided the covid vaccinations at the time (she isn't an anti-vaxer. Just cautious on anything just new. I understand that. I don't fault her on that).

I got a bit preachy here. I just don't want to see anymore die or get disfigured over this thing when there's something that may help mitigate it. But hey, what do I know? We all are just crazy lately.

Happy turkey cull, all. :-P

I'll try to keep it short.

Mom visited us 6 months ago on her own to get some time away from her husband. Her husband is losing his memory, probably Alzheimer's. But he refuses to get himself checked for Alzheimer's....cause he is afraid "they'll take his guns."

First 3 months was decent, despite the normal BS from Mom. Like complaining about everything in her life, I am the dumb child, sis is the great child.

After 3 months sis went with Mom to take her home back in Washington state. Only to have her husband be more child like and even forget "how" he shot the bed. Or the wall in the kitchen. From what sis seen, she decided it's best to have Mom come here to live with us. After all four of us (mom, sis, and bro-in-law) chatted in a video call. Sis brought mom back here.

During that time Mom at first ranted and griped about her husband, finding all things to be mad about him. But somewhere from January to now, it flipped to he's just miss understood. And now my sis is the evil child and I am the saint. It's weird and upsetting to now see her do the shit she been doing to me through the years onto my sister. And have her treat me the way she used to treat my sis.

Either way, the house here became a hell hole....which was new for sis and bro-in-law. For me, it was, "Well, hello Mom household, once again...."

Couple weeks ago, everyone was done with each other. And my Bro-in-law escorted Mom back to Washington state. I couldn't cause I got work and can't get time....nor have the funds to be off work. Sis was at her wits end. Her husband at this point understands he done something wrong and agrees he'll see a doc. Will he? That's to be seen. Since his fears go back to his damn guns again, I doubt it. Either way, he now sees my sis as, "one of them libs after my guns.". We don't care about the guns, we care about his mental well being. After all, that saying, "Guns don't kill people. People kill people.". Well, if he's not fully there and don't even know why he accidently shot a wall, or the bed. I would think that it makes sense to either have him see a doc. Or remove the guns. Or what we end up doing , remove our mother.

Anyway, been talking to him again. I lived with them for decades till 2017. He may have been going child like since 2020 for all I know. But I know him enough that I am sure he have no I'll intentions.

But with Mom wanting to go back. I am worried. But not going to stop her. She said she wanted to leave. Then turn around and said she never did.

Either way, she's home now. And both sis and bro-in-law are acting like I normally do after dealing with her at her worst.

The kicker is, before this all started with Mom visiting for a few months, and the eventual move in. I mentioned to them that I been long done trying to deal with her, talk to her, help her. It's all I done as a child. And since I moved to Indiana fully in 2017, it's been nice not having to be at her whims. To deal with her rants, her sudden demands. I been sleeping well and not in desperation to leave the house. Granted, cousin was almost as bad. But still bad enough that I needed to get out of that house too.

Anyway, after all this and seeing how Mom can easily turn on folks with a drop of a hat. And see she have no problem going into the dramatics. Like I seen her destroy things in the past when I was a kid. But never knew the context of things. But see her threaten to trash things, actually trash things. And even at one point run off in public. I am done with her fully. I'll visit, I'll call and talk. But no more entertaining the idea of maybe taking care of her in the future. She's just too much.

And seeing these two here going through the anguish and depressions from dealing with her.....well. their therapist today today suggested maybe they should not try that again. And I agree.

Anyway, that's my drama. While Mom was here, I had no time for myself when I was home. And I am busy at work, so no time for my creative crap. I ended having to decompress....somehow at work. Despite work is what stresses me out. I got some places to go....if I had time and funds. Last part of last year and this year so far been hard on finances to boot.

Ah well, there's my BS entry.

Wish you all well. Been a crazy year. And sadly, still crazy in a lot of places.

---

just rambling past this

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I been pretty private with my life for close to a decade now. I want to share, but I always feel like I shouldn't. That, and folks are still fired up to argue and win an argument instead of just take a moment to listen and help figure things out. Can't show any empathy. It's really retarded. Especially those who must choose a side on the political line.

Health been going down hill. I'll goin to need to find a new job field January. Unless I some how fix my issues. But I never get my sugars under 250. So yeah.

Mom's marriage to her husband of 20 years ended this month. Not officially, but she moved out of Washington state to live with us in Indiana. Something she is not happy with. Especially since our Dad lives 45 minutes away. And since the two are now in the same state. Both parents are doing the passive aggressive game of, "What did he/she say about me? Cause I can go on forever about him/her."

I am disappointed with my step Dad. We are not sure about his issue, maybe Dementia. But her forgets things withen minutes, sometimes seconds. He acts childish, easily angry. Something he never was. I loved with them from the start of their marriage till the 15th year. So I know how he was. Responsible gun owner, easy to talk to person. Don't have to agree, but we are able to convince each other things and keep ourselves grounded. I really liked the guy. I still do. At least the old him.

But he is now a big child, yells and screams a lot. Watches Fox News and channels like it. Counts his amo before he leaves. And cleans his guns 24/7. Everyone have told him to get checked in. But he always translate it as, "Give up his guns."

Long story short, sis and her husband been over there more than twice to try to meditate thing and get him to seek help. And he just fought more. So, last visit my sis was there, turns out Mom was mostly in tears and avoid him. So....yeah, she took her out of there.

Not sure what more to say. I had to do this with her ex boyfriend when I was in high school. At least this time Sis had a place to bring her. I didn't since I was just a kid and living with her at the time. Guess I am glad it's not car camping again.

I am still lost with her husband though. I don't want to adbondone him. But got mom out of there to at least save her sanity. I still wish I knew what to do with him. There's got to be way to get him to understand his mental health is what we are worried about. If we truly cared about removing the guns, we would have, regardless how he thinks he got things down to a pattern. But he still thinks this is about his guns. No, it's about our Mother and him. Guns don't kill, people do. And he's got issues.

I really just want to say fuck it and just focus on his guns. But then that would definitely make me enemy number one. That's not the intention.

Ah well.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Near the end of then year. Mom's husband losing his mind. They maybe splitting officially by the start of December. Healrh going down to the point I may last till January before losing my CDL.

But hey still alive and doing okay. And met some nice folks. Gonna visit someone lovely this Thanksgiving weekend.

So still got things to be thankful.


Hope everyone is doing well.

Lost touch with a lot of folks. And the world in general. Everyone is insane. Not sure what more to say.

And prices have gone up on a lot of things. Despite finally in a stable job. Prices have gone up on everything. I am starting to believe I am not going to keep up much longer.

But hey, how are you?

Through the years I been trying to figure myself out. Yet one of the things I refused to accept the possibility of is me being aromantic. Could one be aromantic and still wish to experience romance, love? Could one find love? I don't know. But 42, and not once I ever fell for a person. And I still find myself looking up references and talking to folks to get ideas. But it never comes naturally in thought. Yet, I am not asexual......which makes me feel like some sort of creep. But....yeah, I am lost. I thought maybe I am demisexual. But...maybe to a tiny scale. Like I need to know a person enough to get comfortable. But....well, still don't solves my issue with wanting romance but not able to naturally come up with it...or feel it. I am that weird guy where I'll just stare blankly and comment something out of the blue while the rest of his guy friends are focused on some girl they just saw. I am kinda bi. I have dated men in my youth. But I never felt "love". I actually felt like I was waisting their time since I wasn't romantically invested. I was there, sexually. But......I just.....feel weird that if there's nothing more to sex...than sex.....what is there to it?

I got issues.

I just....want to hear from others and their thoughts about themselves.

Yep, people are insane. Guess I am too.

There's so much I want to say. But I honestly don't want to reach out to strangers. For the last decade, whenever I opened my mouth, I got into the most stupid, insane arguments. And it's nothing to do with debate and learning. It's all about winning, at all cost. Fuck logic, fuck reason, fuck empathy.

So Incase anyone wonders why I had been so silent for years now there you go.

But lately I am seeing folks doing the most dangerous things to folks with no regard or understanding their situation. Most folks, especially north Americans have the privilege to say all sorts of stupid, crazy shit. Especially about their government. And they get to go to their own bed, and wake up in their own beds, to start another day of shitting on the world and argue fight for a dream world to be reality.

Truly taking our freedoms for granted.

Point I am getting at, Russia had been dismantling their free media since 1999 due to you know who.

Russia finally hammered the last nails in their medias coffin since the Ukraine Invasion. All they have is state media. ONE source of information, controls by their government.

I am sure most folks are familiar with Putin's critics suddenly dying from bad stroke of luck deaths....to blatant murders.

Point I am getting at is this.

Do not demand Russians to denounce Putin in anyway that does not grant them to live to see another day. A dead citizen can't voice and protest their grievances toward their leader. They don't have the privilege as we do to say Biden is shit and Trump is a dick and be guaranteed to live.

Anything, even hints to their displeasure toward Putin could get them killed.

A silent decenter on the internet is a person who can only denounce in silence. If they choose to go in public to do something about it, then let them. But don't force them to denounce Putin and give him reasons to hunt them down before they could do anything in person. Text over the net does nothing.

And their net is filtered and spied on.

Most who demand this are just folks wanting their hurt feelings and Egos stroked. No concerned or care on what's going on over there. Do you want them to be killed and have the country left to those who are happy with this insanity?

Think before you do this shit. I got friends, associates, folks who I want to ask them so many questions. I am sure they want to speak their minds. But I don't want to put a target on their heads.

You folks want to be angry at folks? Go after the very clear supporters of this insanity. This inhumanity. The fuckers who think the best way to fight inhumanity is to be a million times worse. Hypocrites. Fuck wits who can't even see they are being lied to. Been givin stupid, horrendous reasons to be inhuman themselves. Those are the ones who need to be ranted at.

Leave the silent alone, you'll kill them. Let them decide what to do on their own. Just voice your sorrow, displeasure, frustrations out in the open. But don't aim it to an individual you want to reach. Make it an open letter. It's all we can do....other than suit up and join the fight.

Hope I make sense.

I will not disable the comments for now. Maybe, if things go bad. But I mentioned this cause, comment at your own peril. I may not respond.....just savor the idiocy. So think before commenting. Some folks maybe watching.

Yep, enjoy everyone.

Well, thankfully nothing horrible happened while I was out due to covid. Actually, was kinda....sorta productive at writing. About it. Now back to work. I been cleared with a negative result of a covid test before I was allowed to go back to work....let alone able to roam outside of my room.

Ah well, bout it.

I got a weird question. Anyone wanna be my valentine? Weird question.

This week is my first week off in a while. Though...well, long story short, I been spending it quarantined in my room. Cause I got covid before I got to enjoy a day of this time off. Ah well....hopefully nothing else would go wrong. Hahahaha.....ugh.

So yeah...enjoy life folks.

Guess I have time todau to make greetings.

Nothing sucks than being sick on holidays. Especially when I had plans to visit folks.....ended up having to cancel.

Ah well, I am grateful to be alive.

Going to say I now incas I miss it.

Merry Christmas everyone.

Been kinda busy....but what's new?

Well, I did went through my *block* list and gone over some names. I won't say anything. But I deleted a couple of names. Those I did, I felt probably deserve a new leaf. Not like they asked for it. But I wouldn't know. One person in particular had been in my rage list for so long that I am still angry. But going over their page and seeing they may have calmed down through the years, may as well give them a chance, eh? I'll do my best to "let it go."

I am going to put this out there and say I got my shots a while back. And I am fine. I am fine. I am saying this cause I am tired of this BS of folks saying that anyone who takes it is gonna be weird. I just found out my half sister in North Carolina got covid last week and was in the hospital. She's been home last couple of days, still needing oxygen. She did not get the vaccine. Despite knowing covid is no joke, the fucking media dipshits around her convinced her to not trust the damn vaccines. And she is the type who takes flu shots yearly. I am just beyond angry. But glad she is on the mend, despite admitting she still thinks she could still die.

Same time, my wacko cousin (who I was living with till the end of 2020) got covid along with EVERYONE who showed up to her Thanksgiving party. 16 people. She had her shots. So far she's doing okay.....as you can be with this virus. She's not been hospitalized. Not on a machine. Though is feeling like her ass is kickes. Can't say the same for her other relatives who didn't take the shot.

Point of all of this.....which I have no fucking idea why I have to say this in this modern age. Vaccinations help prep your body. It's just a weakened/dead virus that your body gets to beat like a punching bag. Helping it to prep for the fight. It will not magically make you immune to the degree you can't get sick at all. It will not change your DNA. Holy shit, it's works like any vaccine. It helps lower the intensity of the virus. Lowers the ability to damage your body. Lower the chance of death from this. WTF? And liken any virus, like the flu, it always mutates and changes. So yeah, gonna have to keep up with it.

Hey, take it if you want. It's your decision. But stop giving me stupid arguments on why you shouldn't. Stop politicizing it. Just admit you are not comfortable with it. Is that so hard? Immune compromised? Well, I am sorry , this attack is not aimed at you folk. I am just angry at those who fight so hard to avoid it to the point they want to demonize those who take it.

But then again, it's crazy times. With a deadly virus everyone could spread and not even be sick with it.

What ever, I am not in the mood to argue about it....though I did wound myself up.

Just a pointless entry.

Anyone got any random thoughts to toss my way?

Any questions?

I am just curious of the mindset today. Like, what's the biggest thoughts of that moment when asked this.

Hey, hope everyone is doing well. Just been working a lot. Nothing really new. Been a year now since moved out of my cousin's place. Granted, living with my sister.....again. but this time things have been going smoothly. Actually, nothing eventful at home. Granted, nothing is perfect in life. But glad the political buttery let alone talks are very rare. And that is a needed break from the stuff I need to deal with while on road, working.

I hadn't uploaded my comics here in a while. Been busy and figured I'll just focus on uploading in Comic Furry only. Should I restart uploading on here too?

Anyway, doing fine. Wished I had friends near me nowadays. All my friends seem to be in extreme corners of the nation. But....well, I guess I am to blame for it since I have no time to go out and try to mingle in my current area of Indiana.

Then again, I am so jaded through the years with everyone's knee jerk to spout outrage politics that I rather not risk meeting anyone who's a hardcore right/left.

I'll just say this to anyone, claiming to be one side and blaming the other side just shows me you are part of the problem.

Anyway, take care all.

Ever had moments when you feel life passed you by so much that you seem to be looking at everyone far ahead? Like you are stuck in the past, and content enough (or just too distracted with just existing) to notice that you know nothing nowadays?

I am personally shocked I am still up to sniff with politics. But then again, I didn't pay much attention to it 20 years ago. At least not to the degree I am now.

I think what's worse....or good, depends how you look at it...for me at least. I feel left behind. But I don't feel the need to rush to catch up. Actually, feel folks have gone insane for the last few years. Just to obsessed with everything. And I mean everything. And not just politics.

Like a tv show? Gotta make everything you own, including your own skin to be branded of that show. Same for everything. And it's got to be in the talks. And got to some how be seque into the convo and decisions being made, even actions.

Maybe I am having a midlife crisis. But despite wanting to either make new friends or reconnect with old, I just feel more of a stranger to the world than I ever did when younger.

And I blame it on moving a lot. Everyone needs to move and start over at least once in life. But I done it so many times when I was a kid, and without warning most of the time. Living in Washington state for two decades was the longest I ever stayed in one place. May not seem much. But other times, I want to say 3 to 5 years was the longest. So....yeah, starting over is honestly never easy, or fun.

I am rambling, but for folks who say you could just move back, never truly done it. Or never had it bother them. There's a certain threshold you eventually cross where you go from, "hey, he looks familiar," to, "this stranger looks suspicious."

My experiences is, home is not where you started. Home is where you are now. I been back to Honolulu decades ago. For a visit and other stuff. But nobody cares I was born there. There's no such thing as a, "welcome home, stranger.". You have to be there long enough to be part of it. And even then, gone long enough, back to zero.

Same I find anywhere else. Washington state have changed....aged really. It would be disturbing if nothing changed. Everything changes and grows.....for better or worse. Will I be able to slip back into things if I move back? Maybe, sorta. I know there's a couple folks I can rely on to be there at least. But I won't be able to slip into the current happenings. Granted, I never was into any scene. But I at least had a clue what's happening.

I am rambling. Maybe my issues isn't that I am starting over again itself. But the feeling I am still that teenager who still can't make it on his own. Still being gaslit with the issues that he sees, but folks tell him it's all in his head. Cause they made it in life. So should that teen.

Not much, like the title says.

I think I lost faith in humanity, or at least folks around me. Everything have gone so political, mixed with hypocrisy that nobody realizes they are fueling the crap they are complaining about. Topped off treating all this as a contest to win, I am just out of anything to give back.

Me walking away isn't result of who won or who lost. It's just me not giving a damn about the soap box you stand on and got better things to do elsewhere.

My birthday was the 15th. Heh, time flies.

I used to have a Smack Jeeves account. This comic was on there originally before moving to Comic Fury due to a major site design change. As of this posting, I just learned Smack Jeeves no longer exist. I am actually sadden by it. Since it WAS a good place. But for some odd reason, it changed the layout to be more like Comixology. Which that place made sense since it's presenting comic books onto the web. But Smack Jeeves no longer made it simple for majority of us who were doing strip a day....usually the moment that strip is finished. Which could be....at the artist's leisure. Of course, then becoming region locked was the final death blow for it. Ah well. Here I ramble. Rest in peace Smack Jeeves. Great on being an example of falling from grace at record speeds.

Hopefully 2021 will be much better.

I have so much I want to say about last year. But, well, I have a feeling the feeling is sorta mutual for most. So I'll just leave it alone.

May everybody stay safe.

Yep, like title says. Please stay safe everyone.

I been as silent as I can be during the last four years on politics. And if I did, I tried to be in the middle.

But this current bullshit with this conspiracy theories with QAnon is just the most stupid thing I ever heard. And the fact the "hero" of it decided to embrace it recently is pure insanity. Just because this guy embraced it, don't mean it's real. Just like everything else he had said through the years. I am shocked with how much we as a nation have fallen to the point we can't think outside of this political spectrum hell. Anyone who is obsessed with Liberal/Conservatism is fucking nuts. Cause you'll believe anything, as long it is within your political spectrums court. Support anyone, regardless if they don't follow your values....but sure prop them up as your heroes towards your values

I am sick of folks. You all really want to believe there's only pure good, and pure evil? No in between? Believe that the entire world is out to conspire on one nation.....one MAN? Even to the point to make up a pandemic and fake deaths? Please, seek help.

Just leave me be. Unwatch me if you think like this. I don't need you. Hell, with how I am, I probably didn't know some of you were into that....pretty obviously I lived this long without you. But the direction we are going, you will affect me eventually.

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Here's a number, anyone want to share gifts?