http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TCvKZP1lnGw
A ponyplay spring meeting in Sweden, close to Stockholm, featuring ponies from all over the world - even New Zealand.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nXg0JFplpUw
I planned for an hour... but your questions turned the "Ask the Pony 3"-session into a two hour long marathon... seriously: Who would be willing to watch me rambling for two hours straight? Gladly I am not alone but have good friends at my side:
* Luna Carousel whom some of you might know as the talented artist at http://www.furaffinity.net/user/thesh...
* cpony, owner of one of the best internet resources on pony play http://www.cpony.com/
* Rebecca Wilcox, author of the book "The Human Pony"

---

And while you are at it - feel free to take a peek at our old videos:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ToEe.....Z__CI&hd=1
A carriage in a DriveIn of a local McDonald's? No big deal!

http://youtu.be/YpDgI6BIsw0?hd=1
The rehearsal weekend in the small town of Bad Rothenfelde, preparing the Fury stallions for for the Venus erotic convention in Berlin 2012

http://youtu.be/ToEeBNZ__CI?hd=1
Another clip from our rehearsal weekend: Time for some fun with the local fastfood provider and how bio-horses react to meeting the fury ponies

http://youtu.be/8vbYnmf8k-Q?hd=1
This Video was shot by a friend, featuring the Fury stallions' first big trip through the streets of Berlin while visiting the Venus erotic convention in Berlin 2012.

http://youtu.be/Yr3fSQasf5k?hd=1
Some German tv-show featuring the Fury stallions' convention appearance at the Venus erotic convention in Berlin 2012 (lots of German talking).

http://youtu.be/y4qNBQ7meD4?hd=1&t=1m21s
Long video of the opening gig at the Venus erotic convention with some erotic starlets posing in front of and with the Fury stallions.

http://youtu.be/6EYOb2O5cOM?hd=1&t=22s
Another video of the same opening gig.

http://youtu.be/--8OD8A7Ewg?hd=1
"Ask the Pony 1" A peek at the men behind the masks and how they see pony play.

It is already past 1am and I propably should be in bed by now. But I feel like writing down a few thoughts. Not so much for you (sorry, guys; actually I don't even expect you to read this stuff or even believe that you actually do; seriously, who reads journals on FA anyway). I am writing this for myself.

So I got the job I applied for a few weeks ago. For the first time in... hmm... 10 years? ...I actually applied for a job and got it. It is not like my field of job activities hasn't changed over the years. I am working in a huge company with 350.000 employees in 90 countries. A company like that re-organzies it's structur again and again. And during such re-organizational processes I got sort of thrown around like in a small boat on a huge ocean. So my work changed from year to year without me putting any effort into steering my direction.

I was sort of fine with it. I earned enough money to fill the fridge and pay the rent and even do dorky things (some of which you witness when looking at my gallery). My personal freedoms were great and I got a few payed vacation days, too. Believe me when I say, I know that this is a luxury.

But two major things happened: First of all I married Arressia. She truely is the love of my life. I have known her for 20 years now. And even during the years whem we didn't speak a single words with each other, she was always there in my mind. I want to make her the happy woman she deserves to be. And part of that is to help her spread her wings. She had the dream of working with horses, even got the schooling and professional taining for it. But she lacked the self confidence and vision, the trust into her own skills and abilities to start her own business. And that is where I was able to support her, to help her see, what big and strong wings she already had. For the past three years I am proud to have helped her build up her own business from scratch. And today she is even so far that she can reduce full days at her employee job to focus on her own business. Something she never thought would become possible. I am so proud and happy for her.

The second thing that happened: one year ago my company did another of those huge re-organizations. And suddenly I got stranded in a team with no spirit, all alone, as the rest of the team was in a town two hours away and with a field of work I did not only hate, but was simply boring to me. My personal mood got worse and worse over the past month. I abandoned friends, reduced social contacts to an unhealthy minimum and became some sort of hermit. And it showed in the quality of my work. In the end no one was happy. Not me and not my boss, who didn't know me well enough to know about my qualities (as he was 2hrs away).

And at that point in late September, I realized something: it hasn't been only Arressia profiting from me helping her to start her business. I, too, had grown in confidence and understanding, how you can plan and steer your life, if you really want to.

I hate changes. I really do. But I hate changes even more, when I am not in control over the changes that affect me. So I finally got up and took the rudder in my own hands again, steering my little boat's direction. I applied for a new position in my company. A huge step... not forward on the career ladder. But a huge sep into another direction. I want my field of work to be something, I love again.

I am not a big dannof huge goals and 5 year plans. Life changes every minute and I do't want to miss an opportunity by focusing too much on some personal master plan. But I can influence the direction. And it was about time to realize that. Watching and helping Arressia turning her dreams into reality I realized that I can change myself, too.

And I couldn't be more reliefed to leave this swamp I feel I got stuck in.

Just a reminder for myself, so ignore, if you will...

http://www.furaffinity.net/full/8346273/ Patrix
http://www.furaffinity.net/full/10343845/ Rainstorm
http://www.furaffinity.net/full/9131706/ Kazam
http://www.furaffinity.net/full/8541068/ Amy
http://www.furaffinity.net/full/8419988/ Silaria
http://www.furaffinity.net/full/15606628/ Guardian
http://www.furaffinity.net/full/11784171/ Barcode
http://www.furaffinity.net/full/10471256/ Whisky
http://www.furaffinity.net/full/10471209/ Branston
http://www.furaffinity.net/full/10343892/ Cheesewheele
http://www.furaffinity.net/full/10343883/ Silao

"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."

As of this moment I am officially 40 years old. :)

I really like furaffinity for the audience and the overall atmosphere. But as my interests cover various topics (real life photography of draft horses, BDSM style pony play, my furry OC Hugin) I really miss the ability to sort my uploaded material into different folders.

Well, not anymore: I managed to sort my material and now I can link directly to the following collections:
- Drawings of my OC Hugin, the Shire Horse / Gypsy Vanner mix
- Real Life photos of me performing pony play as Abraxas
- Drawings of my RL pony play character Abraxas
- My works as photographer of bio horses

I hope you'll like this and it'll help to give a better overview on Hugin, Abraxas and all the other horses in my life, fantasy or real.

Hrm... had a YCH rush...

(paid - completed) wiith http://www.furaffinity.net/full/14448958/
(paid - completed) with http://www.furaffinity.net/full/14449598/
(paid - completed) with http://www.furaffinity.net/full/14449486/
(paid - sketched) with http://www.furaffinity.net/full/14262997/
(paid) PWYW comission
(paid) with http://www.furaffinity.net/full/14454374/
(paid) with http://www.furaffinity.net/full/14401908/
(paid - completed)
(paid - completed) with http://www.furaffinity.net/full/14448166

Should I be concerned that people calling me for birthday wishes sound more like: "are you alright" when they ask: "how are you doing?"

For a bigger version visit the YouTube page at http://youtu.be/ToEeBNZ__CI?hd=1

So you've probably already heared about our gig at the Venus erotic convention in Berlin in October 2012. Some have wondered if this was the first time for us to work as a team of stallions. In fact, it was not. We met a few weeks prior to the convention in the small town of Dissen for a rehearsal. And I can tell you it was quite a show, when my beloved wife Arressia steered the carriage into the DriveIn of a local McDonald's.

---

And while you are at it - feel free to take a peek at our other videos:


http://youtu.be/YpDgI6BIsw0?hd=1
The rehearsal weekend in the small town of Bad Rothenfelde, preparing the Fury stallions for for the Venus erotic convention in Berlin 2012

http://youtu.be/ToEeBNZ__CI?hd=1
Another clip from our rehearsal weekend: Time for some fun with the local fastfood provider and how bio-horses react to meeting the fury ponies

http://youtu.be/8vbYnmf8k-Q?hd=1
This Video was shot by a friend, featuring the Fury stallions' first big trip through the streets of Berlin while visiting the Venus erotic convention in Berlin 2012.

http://youtu.be/Yr3fSQasf5k?hd=1
Some German tv-show featuring the Fury stallions' convention appearance at the Venus erotic convention in Berlin 2012 (lots of German talking).

http://youtu.be/y4qNBQ7meD4?hd=1&t=1m21s
Long video of the opening gig at the Venus erotic convention with some erotic starlets posing in front of and with the Fury stallions.

http://youtu.be/6EYOb2O5cOM?hd=1&t=22s
Another video of the same opening gig.

http://youtu.be/--8OD8A7Ewg?hd=1
"Ask the Pony 1" A peek at the men behind the masks and how they see pony play.

Alright alright...

since it seems to be impossible to convince you that I won't post on FA any longer (I keep getting more and more watchers) I can as well post some photos here...

Curse you... *mutters*

The first Q&A session session was a blast. Thank you to everyone who showed up to ask questions or just to keep us company. We had more than 30 attendees. Sheesh... I never expected such a crowd

The questions were pretty good and my pony collegues offered a very open insight into how they experience pony play.

There will be a next session, planned for the end of January.


The session is available on YouTube. And to offer you an easy access I marked every question as a chapter:


JohnnyPuppy: What got you into pony play?

DovieCaba: Where did you actually end up meeting people of similar interests? Fetlife? or other places?

_Phantom_: How did the Fury stallions come together; and how did you meet each other?

DovieCaba: Ok, what exactly is a munch? It sounds intimidating...

Caius: For you is becoming a pony an act that is put on for fun, or an expression of what you truly want to be?

Caius: I'd also like to know how comfortable you are in your gear. Do you find there are some flaws?

Stalleques: Have you ever considered using synthetic hair for tails or will it always be real hair for preference?

Bigwig: You talk a lot of the horses - what about the handlers - is their play comparable deep? (would you continue play if you enjoy it less than your handler?). Is there horse play without handlers?

Horsy boy: Do you like equine fursuits? What is similar with ponyplay? Trapa: How much do you define and relate to Furries? Do you feel pony play falls similar to furries?

Thorphax: How comfortable are the hoof boots?
Sprocket: That would be my question too, how comfortable are your hoof boots?

Stalleques: How often do you let your pony side out? - do work commitments keep gettting in the way :P

_Phantom_: You mentioned you have / own horses. Do you find it is easier to be a pony when your handler who works with real (bio) horses?

Horsy boy: Can you see clearly through the eyes of the mask?

JohnnyPuppy: How fast do u get into pony headspace? is it quick as in once the mask is on your in the head space or is it slow as in when your putting on your gear u slowly get into the pony headspace?

_Phantom_: In the video where the Fury stallions are pulling the carriage the driver seems very experienced in the driving of carriage 'horses,' by looking at the masks it seems the bit is not in the human's mouth. so are you responding to rein cues and voice commands?

Fortuna: What do you do if you have to use the men's room while wearing this stuff?

DovieCaba: Racoon, what is your favorite part of pony play. What is your passion in it?

Stalleques: How hard was it pulling the carriage?

Trapa: Any plans to do a 6 or more pony carriage?

_Phantom_: Is there a specific breed that you relate to?

Horsy boy: What do you like most of ponyplay?

dragonfly1001: Have you put in practice any horse whispering techniques? "principles of developing a rapport with horses, using communication techniques derived from observation of free-roaming horses, and rejecting abusive training methods."

_Phantom_: Outside of dressage, pulling a carriage, log pulling are there other forms of pony play you want to try?

JohnnyPuppy: This question is mostly for Nighty: are u ever uncomforatble when ur face shows instead of wearing your mask while doing pony play?

_Phantom_: Do you find the vanilla people you encounter as ponies are curious and want to know more or do they seem offended? Outside of ponyplay / bdsm events of course

jez: ...and what are you saing to this peoples when asked: "What are you doing? Theater stuff?"

DovieCaba: How do your families react?

Caius: How much weight does your handler’s word have in play and outside of play?

Abraxas: Norica, could you tell us about your pony vacations on a farm?

DovieCaba: Where do you sleep while on vaccation?

Bigwig: Probably a stereotype, anyway - ever dreamt of being a horse?
Horsy boy: You are a horse boy but ... Would you like to be a real horse?

Stalleques: Are you vocal ponies or more silent ponies during play?

_Phantom_: Some view pony play as submission -- do you view it as this or more of an expression / experience?

DovieCaba: How are you disciplined as a horse? Such as in training or when you act up?

JohnnyPuppy: Besides pony play, are their other forms of animal roleplay that you have tried or would like to try?

Fortuna: I didnt quite see from when you showed the masks before. Can you eat/drink at all while wearing those? Also, do you have a salt-lick?

Trapa: How well would other species be recieved at a pony play event? If i were to bring a meerkat, in pony gear to the event, would they feel that this is a outsider?

Horsy boy: When I'm wearing my fursuit they ask me to ride me or mount me. Does it happens to you too?

_Phantom_: Have you ever met Rebecca Wilcox or is there any other well known pony players you would like to meet?

Tsume: Have you ever thought about 4-legged ponyplay?

Fortuna: ...Aint it very heavy to carry people around? I've got this picutre in my head with a skinny little pony trying to heave this 200kg fella onto his back...

STT: Have you ever been with real horses?

Trapa: Do you have any suggestions on how to get away from being a wall-flower?

Abraxas: Closing the session

Tonight: "Ask a Pony" Q&A session broadcast live on YouTube

"Between the years" - this is what we in Germany call the time between Dec 24th and Jan 1st. Usually it's a very quiet time, a time to review the passing year's events and prepare the resolutions for the year to come.

Why not use the time for something new?

In October you saw the Fury Stallions draw a carriage up and down the Venus erotic convention in a team of four ponies. (Video available here: https://fetlife.com/groups/61/group_posts/3242945 ). And we got quite a few questions about our outfit and the event itself. But group threads alone are so boring. So what we will do is creating a Google hangout with a few pony player who will answer your questions that you can send us in an internet text chat. We will broadcast the whole session live on YouTube so you will get to see the people behind the masks and hear their answer.

We expect questions about our outfit but also about how we see pony play, pony headspace and our personal experiences with pony play. Maybe you are interested in our sulkies or in our gear. Just go ahead and ask us.

Sounds neat? Then come and join us!
http://bavarian-pony.com/ask_a_pony/

Be warned - there will be a German session in the same chat room before we start. Don't let the German talk scare you away

See you "between the years"

The furaffinity community has always been kind of me. An it sadens me to make this decision now that I get so much positive feedback for all the horsey stuff I've been publishing lately. But let's face it: This hasn't been the first outtage of furaffinity and it won't be the last. I'd rather pay for a reliable service than hope that donations will be used for the right decisions.

During the next days and weeks I'll transfer my material over to deviantART.

Feel free to add me to your watchlist there:
http://abrx.deviantart.com/
http://abrx.deviantart.com/
http://abrx.deviantart.com/

Hope to see you there.

In 3 hrs... gosh, my hands start to shake as I write this number down... in 3 hrs I'll say "Yes, I do" to my beloved soon to be wife.

And for the first time in months I actually come to realize that these little words may indeed be a milestone in my life, a milestone I will remember. Great timing... why do I grow nervous now? I'd rather be as cool as I've been during the past months instead of gnawing on my fingernails now.

My height of 1,90m (6'2'') is an unfaithful friend. It hides the overweight I collected over the past years quite well. When I left school in 17 years ago I was a young man of 78kg (172lbs). I never considered myself being a lean person. But I sure was very far away from being fat.

Over the years I started gaining weight, without caring too much for it. After all my height hid this quite weill. And why should I be bothered by having to change the pant size ever now and then. I remember meeting an old friend I hadn't seen for some years and how it shocked me to see how plump he had become. But I was different, right?

I wasn't. I came to realize that, when we were shooting Abraxas-photos in late February this year (they are available here: http://www.furaffinity.net/full/7456408 ). I look pretty okay, no? Wrong. I have grown quite a belly. I had crossed the 100kg border to 102kg (225lbs). The only reason why you can't see this is because I selected only those photos for publishing where it is difficult to notice. I never had a good relationship to my body fitness. But now I felt really terrible.

Time for change. I knew my eating habits were... let's say... far from being healthy. I knew I wouldn't change to an ascetic lifestyle. But I could reduce my daily sugar intake drastically and eat more vegetables and fruits. I never cared for the little shop a local farmer was running to sell his goods. Now I became a frequent visitor. I never was a big fan of exercise. Now I started to work out for at least an hour per day.

The good thing is: After just a week your body starts to adapt to such changes at an amazing speed. You can feel and see how you start to build muscles and endurance, how your belly starts to shrink, how your face grows lean. It's an encouraging reward that drives you forward.

I've been doing this for 6 weeks now. My weight dropped to 92kg (203lbs) and even though I haven't changed much on first sight I can feel how my whole body has become much firmer. And I feel so much better already. And I will continue to walk this path.

So this is my last day of being 36years old. Tomorrow I'll turn another year older.

Hm... I'll try to collect some thoughts on the past year tonight. So much has changed. So many things happened...

 

the subtitle here should be:
...or why it is important not to post too much information about the real you openly on the internet...


An hour ago an artist I watch here on FA posted a story about her signing the contract to rent a house - and she was so overwhelmed with joy that she invited everybody to a housewarming party, giving all the details including her new address. While I am very happy for her that she got the house she was looking for on the one hand, I couldn't help but think of a story that went through the news last week here in Germany on the other.


A girl from Hamburg (Germany) named Thessa invited everybody to her 16th birthday party on facebook and wrote her full address and all. She was stupid enough to click the button "readable to everybody". As a result the invitation was passed around and a flash mob of a few hundred people formed, with lots of alcohol and alike. 150 policemen had to close down the road with dogs and horses to keep the drunken crowd at bay.

And just because the girl made one wrong click. This invitation backfired badly.

So... maybe it is a good idea to be a bit careful with passing around your real address on the internet, especially when everybody (even people who do not have a FA account) can read it.



The video is in German and you might want to skip through the first minutes - but I think the pictures in the middle of the video say enough:
http://www.spiegel.de/video/video-1131408.html

Sometimes I hate being mature. Sometimes I hate acting according to my age. And I hate it especially right now.



Can I haz horsie? Pleeezeee?

Last weekend I went to see my parents. They live 400km (250miles) from my place. Of course I like to spend some family time. But I also had a second plan: A woman in my parents’ town was offering an eleven year old Shire horse gelding. Yes, I am hunting for a horse again. Not because I actually need and want a horse at all costs; no, I just feel like looking for Mr. or Mrs. Perfect because I can. And somehow I have the feeling that this perfect horse will be of Shire breed.



For the first time a Shire

Saturday came. My father insisted to accompany me when having a closer look at the gelding. I think horses are one of the few things I know a lot about and he nothing. Maybe this is why he is so fascinated by the fact that not one of his daughters but his only son caught interest in them.

When we arrived I could see Raf’s silhouette against the deep hanging winter sun. My God, was he huge, easily 1,90m, that’s 6.23ft, kids, and he was more than a ton heavy. But I am afraid that was all that was amazing about poor Raf. He stared at us with tired disinterested eyes. And it is just now that I am writing this down that the right word comes to my mind: He looked broken. Sure, he would follow his owner across the riding corral. But he was lacking every bit of enthusiasm, joy or at least curiosity.

The ground was too hard to actually test all his gaits. But as he was walking I had the feeling that Raf was protecting his right hind leg by setting the left one in a way that it would support most of his weight. Then again I am not a professional. So I couldn’t really proof it. But what worried me even more was the fact that he was unwilling to let me inspect his hooves.

“Oh, he never did that. That’s why we are cutting his hooves the natural way. As you can see we allow it to grow until the lowest parts are spreading apart; and then we cut them off around the hoof. That way he doesn’t need to lift the hooves and did I mention that this is the natural way?” A twelve year old gelding who doesn’t know such a basic thing? The owner’s words did little to reassure me.

I think I had seen enough by then. But the owner offered me to take a little ride on Raf’s back and as I’ve never ridden a Shire before I just couldn’t resist. Ali, my schooling Hannoverian mare, is easily 1,70m (5.6ft) tall. But riding her did not prepare me for this English tank on four hooves. Let me tell you this: a few centimeters can make a huge difference. Later my father told me that for the first time I had actually looked small, while I was riding.

Once Raf moved I felt perfectly save. His enormous weight and gentle movements made me feel like sitting in a Mercedes Benz. And he was listening very carefully to the aid my shanks gave him. Good boy. But Mercedes Benz or not – Raf was clearly not my Mr. Perfect. I hope he’ll find a good home and somebody will take good care of him.



Best buddies 4ever

On Sunday it was time for me to drive home again. But I decided to make a little detour. Early that week I had the luck to came into contact with someone who knew someone... well, to make a long story short: There was a 70year old man. For the last twenty or so years he always had had at least one Shire horse. He had always been a big fan of driving curricles and carriages.

But last year his wife got cancer. He did his best to support her and naturally time was suddenly short to work with his horses. His horses were a nineteen year old black Irish Cob gelding and a twelve year old Shire gelding. So when the owner’s wife eventually got better they realized that time might grow short on them. She had always loved traveling, something both of them hadn’t done in years because there were horses to take care for.

So in the end he decided to sell the two boys. Actually his plan was to offer the Shire and give the Irish Cob for free, as the two of them were inseparable. That and I think he wanted to be sure that the Irish Cob would get the promise of food and care in old age. Thanks to my contact I was the first one to gain knowledge about his wish to sell the two.

I arrived at their place in the middle of Germany on noon. The ground was still frozen but the sun was shining down on us; a wonderful cold but light day in late January. The owner was already waiting for me in front of his house with the two bears. Yes, these boys were no horses but bears. He kept them on a pasture with run-in shed the whole year, so naturally both boys had grown a thick teddy fur.

The Shire was huge, not as big as the one I had seen the day before. But he made a much friendlier and open impression. He was immediately interested in me but never to a degree you could call him brash. His whole exterior looked just perfect even though you could clearly see that he could need some exercise. The Shire willingly gave way as I got into his way and all in all gave me the impression that he was well mannered.

The black Irish Cob on the other hand was a little more reserved. I couldn’t help but he gave me the idea that he was eyeing me, the stranger, very suspiciously. It was clear that it would take some time to win his heart. As for the exterior: even though his spine hung visibly he still looked like being in good shape. Not necessarily well enough to carry a full grown human. But for sure he would pull a carriage without any effort.

It’s hard for me to find the right words. I spent an hour around the two boys. They were real heartbreakers, I can tell you. Guiding them back to their pasture was an experience on its own. I held the Shire and even though he was friendly enough to follow my guidance it was more than clear that he could easily pull me wherever he would have desired. When I removed his headstall I had to laugh: it was super heavy thanks to the thick leather straps it was made of. “You can’t stop a Shire with a common headstall. He would just tear it apart”, told me the owner.

The owner was just fabulous. He invited me to his little home bar in his basement and told me a lot of stories about his horses. It was more than clear that he had a hard time sell his two boys and that only his love to his wife made him do this. And maybe it dawned him that with the age of seventy it’s no longer that easy to handle two horses.



In the end it doesn't really matter

When I eventually left them, I had a four hour drive home to think and dream. And in the end... well... in the end... I had to make a decision. And even though I hated to do it I knew the answer, just as I had known it even before leaving my parents that Sunday morning.

Yes, I have the money to buy the two of them.
Yes, I loved them both from the first moment and could spend just hours and hours with them.
Yes, I even have a place where I could keep the two under the conditions they need.
Yes, I even earn enough to pay for food, vet, blacksmith and what not.

But... will I find the time to train both of them?
The Shire hasn’t been ridden before and would need a lot of training before he would be able to be a supportive teacher for a beginner like me.
The Irish Cob would need a lot of extra time and I’d need to learn to drive a carriage (let alone buy one) to make full use of him.

As I said in the beginning: I hate being mature. I hate acting according to my age. I wish I could act like a twelve year old boy. But instead I will make the decision that fits to me being three times older than that.

Would you excuse me now? I need to call the owner and tell him that I am deeply sorry for not being the one to give the two boys a new home.



Find some pictures of the two boys here:
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/5184366/


 

"It took you more than thirty years to develop this disfunctionality. You can't expect to get rid of it within a few days."

The orthopaedic specialist doesn't have too much time for me. Oh blessings of public healthcare - in Germany you can actually visit specialists without fearing high medical bills. But that doesn't mean that said specialist is too eager to spend too much time on you. Especially if you have no interesting emergency to offer.

I have no emergency, let alone an interesting one. I just want to know why I find it almost impossible to shift weight onto my right butt cheek. Yeah, I know what they show you in those cool movies - how they turn their horses around by yanking the reins. That's wrong, kids. A horse is navigated by shifting the weight (at least it is when you mastered riding... which is a goal that appearently has a long way for me to go to reach it).

Something isn't right with me. And the orthopaedic specialist seems to be almost disappointed to tell me: "It's not the size of your legs. Both of them are equally long." Instead he babbles something about adductors and my pelvis. Simply put - the muscles that connect my legs to my pelvis aren't in a bad shape; they are in a catastrophic shape. They are much too short thanks to the lack of exercise and constrict the movements neccessary when riding a horse.

Now don't get me wrong here; I am in a pretty okay shape all in all. I do ride my bike 40km on three days a week. My arms and leg are just fine. It's just that I've never felt a need to move my hips (and don't you dare to start commenting speculations about my sexual life!)

Pressing my knees together as if forming an 'X' with the legs? Well, I can mime it. But it's impossible for me to push them together with the needed force to impress a horse carrying me. Shaking my hips back and forth and side to side? It looks like a terrible joke when I try it.

And to make things worse they aren't in an equally catastropic shape. The muscles on the left side are just a tiny little bit stronger than the ones on the right side. Just enough to pull my pelvis out of balance. And that's the source of my problem, that's why I find it so hard to shift my weight to the right side.

So what I have to do is work on execises and show patience. Short muscles don't grow long after one night. Not even after some days or weeks. It'll take months. And even then it will only happen if I keep up training and stretching and training and stretching. So while my colleagues do their little cigarrette breaks I vanish into the supply room and do my little exercises.

Suddenly the words of my first riding instructor come to my mind. I can almost hear her yelling across the riding-hall: "Come on, show me those southamerican swinging hips of yours!"

"No way, Ma'am - all I have to offer is a Germanic clumsy wood shoe dance!"

Humans are evil. All of them are. And there is no way for me to deny it.

At least from Alison's point of view. You already know by reading my journal that Ali is no morning person. Usually I arrive at the stable at 7:30am which is much too early for Madame. She gets her morning hay at 6:30am so how can I be so insolent to even think that she might have finished it by the time I come waltzing in?

So you see, my presence at that time of the day alone is enough to react annoyed. But today she was super-duper-extra annoyed with a little cherry on top. Oh, don’t get me wrong. She generously accepted my scratching and petting at the places she loves so much. In fact this is our little warm up for I learned (by pure chance) that she accepts the surcingle much better when I massage her chest muscles first. Women...

But as soon as I got out the brushes she made it a game to avoid me as best as she could. And when my riding instructor eventually arrived I eventually learned what was wrong: Yesterday she forced all her horses to swallow their anthelmintic therapy. And it tatses just awful to the gourmet tounge of a horse.

No wonder why Ali was in a baaad mood.

Right... All humans are evil. And I was there to take the blame.

Sometimes you need a vent to get something out of your system, or your mind will be stuck pondering about it again and again.

I started to work with horses 18 months ago; and I am not talking about riding here, I am talking about getting closer to horses for the very first time. So all in all you can still call me a newbie. But I think I have developed a way to interact with them. I treat them with respect and expect to be treated with the similar respect. So when I get into the way of a horse I expect it to give way. But on the other hand I only provoke situation like that when I need to.

And up to now I have had only the best experiences with this sharing of respect. Usually a horse would test me once or twice. But as soon as it realizes that my actions are predictable and relaxed, but that I won’t accept disrespectful behavior at the same time, we usually get along very well.

But what is my experience compared to that of people who have worked with horses for twenty years? That is why I find it very hard to criticize them when I see how they act around their own horses. And then there are events like last weekend...

I visited a couple I knew loosely from a local horse chat. They own a few Irish Cob (or tinker, as we call them here). Both of them made a fair impression on me on the chat so I was actually looking forward to meet them. The greeting was friendly and as it was already late and we knew the sun would soon set, we decided to go out and have a look at the horses.

We went to the mares’ paddock first. It was a small place, barely big enough for the three of them. The mud was covered with their droppings and all of the three looked like no one had taken care of their mane for days. But what really shocked me and actually silenced me was the behavior of the woman around the horses. She permanently invaded the personal space of the mares, grappled for them while yelling at them. She was acting more like a three-year old kid with stuffed animals than a mature woman in her thirties with real living beings. I saw how the horses tried to evade her again and again which was quite difficult on the tight paddock.

And while she told me how “terribly bitchy” the horses were, she shooed one of the mares around to force her to give way. And as she couldn’t go anywhere else the mare turned around and showed the woman her rear side. That made her furious: “You dirty old bitch, you dare to show me your back? Quick,” she demanded her husband, “gimmi something to throw!” She picked up some plastic thing that was laying on the ground and threw it at the horse.

*sigh*

Yes, I was shocked. Why you ask? No, the impact of the plastic device on the mare’s butt didn’t actually hurt her. I was shocked because the woman let herself totally go. She acted absolutely not predictable for the horse. First she forced the mare out of her way. And when she complied the woman actually got furious and loud. And then, when the moment was long gone and the horse had no chance to connect the woman’s doing to the horse turning its rear end to her she threw that thing. And even throwing is in my eyes an act that shows no control of your actions at all.

We went on to another paddock with a stallion and a young gelding. The woman warned me about the stallion: “He can be a real bitch, you better be careful around him!” The stallion was a real beauty. Or… he could have been a real beauty, if someone had worked with him. His sides were sunken from the lack of exercise. His wonderful thick neck was missing all signs of the strong muscles you’d expect.

“You see, he is very difficult to ride,” was what she told me about the stallion. I swallowed my answer down as I was standing next to him, scratching and massaging the sensitive spot behind his ears. Her husband placed some hay into the paddock and naturally that caught the stallion’s interest.

I allowed him to inspect the hay – but I knew I had to get out of there, otherwise I’d say something I’d be sorry for. So all I did was to tap with one finger onto the stallion’s chest, made an inviting gesture with my other hand to his back and clicked with my tongue. And tell you what? That “real bitch” immediately took two step backwards and allowed me to pass between him and his hay.

I am sorry. Even as I am writing this I am torn. On the one hand I’ve seen these horses barely longer than two hours. And of course my experiences with horses are limited. But on the other hand I just feel this urge to just yell at that woman to bring her to her senses. And the only thing that held me back was that it must be pretty arrogant from a newb like me to believe he knows it all better.

The wind changed on monday and brought along mild temperatures. Conseqently the snow started to melt - fast. And then it started to rain and it just wouldn't stop. By tuesday morning I called my riding instructor and she said: "There's nothing we can do about it; the snow is soaked with water and much too heavy. So I won't hold your lesson today."

On days like this I wished we had an indoor riding corral. Yes, I know...if we had the whole boarding facility would be much bigger with more horses and more people. I enjoy the luxury of one-to-one lessons and being the only one on the riding corral. And I pay for it whenever the weather turns really bad.

Now don't get me wrong. A little snow or a little rain wouldn't stop us from having our lessons. And actually I like this. Horses that are kept inside as soon as a few rain drops start to fall act pretty nervous when they eventually get on a ride outside. Alison on the other hand is used to different weather conditions and acts barly interested when the wind blows through the tree crowns. Naw, I actually enjoy the outdoor lessons. But I hate missing one due to too harsh weather.

So, no lesson on tuesday. Last night the temperatures dropped below freezing point. This was enough to let what was left of the snow freeze hard. Not the best but acceptable conditions for riding.

What can I tell you about todays lesson? Alison was relaxed, I was relaxed. Yes, as usually it was a lot of bodily work to ride. But to my own surprise I wasn't really exhausted mentally after the lesson. I can't really say why but even though I had to work a lot to keep the balance with the horse staggering across the unstable ground every movement seem to just come without thinking... much...

I'll have an extra lesson next sunday. Maybe then I'll have to tell something spectacular Hmm... would you be interested in a photo of Alison?

„Sorry to disappoint you but… this hasn’t been your work. Alison tries to dive through the snowflakes; that’s all.” The words of my riding instructor at the end of the lesson did not come as a surprise. For almost the whole time Alison had carried her head and neck down without me working on the reins at all. I could feel her back muscles actually carrying me and supporting her spine during the whole lesson.

It was that same feeling that had confused me two weeks ago when my instructor used a tiedown to help Alison bend her neck down (as my use of reins does not really offer much help or information). Suddenly I had a horse without neck and head. And the feeling between my legs was totally different and whenever I shifted my weight to induce a turn Ali would simply not listen at all; as if I was pushed back to square one.

Much the opposite today; I actually enjoyed feeling her strong muscles supporting my weight. And as I relaxed my shoulders I felt the Hanoverian mare reacting to the slightest of my movements. “See? Now you can tell the others that you were riding in the snow”, called my teacher as more snowflakes started to fall.

Snow… The last night had added another nine inches of fresh, white snow. My lesson usually starts with me walking at Alison’s side up and down the outdoor riding ring. It helps her to relax and me to see what she’s up to. Today Alison tried everything from forcing me to walk at her speed to pressurizing me as she started to walk into my way. Of course I couldn’t allow her to do either. And so we spend long minutes “discussing” until she lowered her head finally, kept one ear pointed into my direction and focused on my silent commands. If you don’t receive a horse’s respect on the ground you’ll never earn it in the saddle.

However if you have earned the horse’s respect on the ground you can’t take for granted that you’ll get it as easily once you’re sitting in the saddle. Alison was slow today, really slow. And there was this one spot on the long side of the riding court where she would stop again and again. I was pressing and pressing with my shanks but Alison would just stand there completely ignoring the pressure. And that’s when I finally understood: she’d only listen to a short, explicit command by my shanks – not to continuous pressure.

So the next time she slowed down I relaxed my shank for a second and gave her two short thumbs. And it actually worked. This must sound stupid to experienced riders but to me it was another step I had to take forward. Of course I had to pay for the rest of the lesson that I had allowed Alison to stop a few times on her own behalf before I understood what I did wrong. Alison would try to stop again and again especially when we turned, forcing me to fully concentrate and drive her forwards. So no – I wasn’t cold at all at the end of the lesson.

When I arrived at my stable today I knew what to expect. During the last week the warm, almost summer like November had turned into the dark and grey month it should be and temperatures had dropped below the freezing point. Eventually it had started to snow last Saturday. So it was no surprise to find the riding corral covered under a thick white blanket. No biggie. My riding instructor believes that her students should learn to handle difficult weather conditions.

Alison, the nineteen year old Hanoverian mare that teaches me riding, was… let’s call it excited. We know each other for three months now and she has started to follow my finger gestures. Back, turn (your butt), stand. Today I had to lift my finger quite a few times, while I groomed and saddled her. The winter wonder land seemed to be so much more interesting to her than me.

Once we were on the riding corral everything was fine. Alison was a little startled when I mounted her. Poor thing; a little bit of the snow was hanging from my pants and she clearly didn’t like cold legs at the sides of her belly. But after that we went along quite fine.

I am still a beginner. So my task today was to forget about the snow and work on the way I am holding the reins. Alison is very patient with me but shows me by nodding violently when she’s unsatisfied with the movements of my arms and my pull on her reins. My riding instructor is very strict here. She told me that it is no use to start with trot or gallop as long as I haven’t got a certain amount of feeling on how to hold the reins. It’s the long and slow way. But I like it, compared to what I have experienced before.

When we eventually left the riding corral the snow was no more a smooth blanket. It was more like a wasteland. I think there was not an inch we hadn’t set Alison’s hooves on. She had been patient with me once more. But I was a little discontent with myself. Do I really make progress?