Somewhere in the back of my head, they gathered at my summons. Sheep, horses, deer, a donkey and a llama, all of them characters of mine.

Once everyone was seated comfortably (the Drama Llama had brought her fainting couch, as usual), I said, "Today is the first day of International Hoof Care Week, ladies and gentlemen." I gestured, and the defined space materialized. "Form an orderly line."

"But I take good care of my hooves!" Electra protested. A few more nodded, while the Drama Llama sniffed a restorative.

"And I do not care," I said. "So go see the farrier and have him take a look to make sure it's being done right - and that goes for YOU, too," I snarled at the Drama Llama, who promptly faked a faint worthy of a Premier League footballer.

With some muttering, all of my hoofed characters lined up, and I kept an eye on them to make sure they didn't skive off.