PHILOSOPHY

It Takes More Time Than You Think, Make Peace With It

The paradoxical paradox of pardonable procrastination

Photo by JD Mason on Unsplash

Raise your hand if you’ve ever uttered the infamous words, “This’ll be a piece of cake! I can whip it out in an hour, easy peasy lemon squeezy.” inserts hand-raising emoji. Yep, we’ve all been there. Overconfident and underprepared, like a dog who thinks he’s a cat…which is just downright chaotic if you ask me.

But here’s the bitter truth that’ll leave a tang on your taste buds worse than luxurious battery acid:

Tasks always take longer than you think. It’s the unwritten rule of the universe, along with “The bathroom will be occupied when you reeeally gotta go” and “There’s never enough ranch dressing.”

I learned this cosmic jest the hard way when I decided to rearrange my living room furniture. One measly little room, how long could it take? A Tic Tac’s lifetime, right? Oooooh I’m still chuckling at my former naivete like a dad watching reruns of The Big Bang Theory.

Four hours, seven skinned knuckles, and one near-death experience with an ornery ottoman later, there I was. Sprawled amidst the rubble of my efforts, questioning if the couch was worth risking life and limb over. (Spoiler alert: it wasn’t.)

But you don’t have to be a home renovation warrior to fall victim to the time sinkhole. Work projects, weekend chores, and even boiling a ruddy egg can spiral into a Sisyphean odyssey quicker than you can say “supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.” (Which I’m convinced is just the sound an exasperated sneeze makes after a tough day at the orifice…or preparing for my MS classes in the USA.)

So what’s the solution, you ask? Make like Elsa and let it goooo. Embrace the perpetual tardiness of tasks with the same zeal as Oprah embraces breathing. Wholeheartedly. With reckless abandonment and jazz hands at the ready.

Pad those deadlines like a bubble-butted bunny. Plan for traffic jams, caffeination detours, and spontaneous jam sessions when your favorite song comes on. Life’s too short to be a stress ball, so give yourself ample wiggle room to wiggle.

And if all else fails, keep the wise words of my spirit animal close to heart:

“If you can’t control your peanut butter, you can’t expect to control your life.” — Wise Ape from Operation Dumbo Drop

Embrace the delicious detours, my friends. It’s all part of the flavorful journey we call existence.