FITNESS
This One Exercise Has Strengthened My Entire Body and I’m Obsessed
It is not what you think it is …
You know that feeling when you stumble upon something so profound, so life-altering, that it shakes the very foundations of your existence? Yeah, me neither … until now.
It all started on a fateful Monday morning when I decided to ditch my tragic treadmill routine for something new.
With my trusty phone and an outdated fitness app, I embarked on a journey that would soon become an obsession. Little did I know, that this seemingly innocuous exercise would transcend the mere physical realm and elevate me to a higher state of being.
Are you ready for this?
The exercise that has singlehandedly transformed my life is … drumroll please … (fourteenth cousin twice removed of the push-up) … the plank! I know, I know, you’re probably thinking, “KayDee, have you been living under a rock?”
Hear me out, skeptics.
This isn’t your run-of-the-mill plank — oh no, this is the Plank 2.0, the Plasmic Singularity of core workouts. It’s a full-body engagement that will have your muscles quivering like a caffeinated Chihuahua.
From the beads of sweat forming on your brow to the involuntary tremors in your pinky toes, every fiber of your being is put to the ultimate test.
But let’s rewind a bit and set the scene properly.
Picture this: On a crisp spring morning, there I was, decked out in my finest athletic getup (read: old gym shorts and a sleeveless tee), ready to conquer the world … or at least my living room carpet.
I hit play on some random workout video, thinking I’d half-ass my way through another mindless routine. But then, the calm voice of my virtual trainer spoke those fateful words: “Get into a plank position.”
“This is going to be a piece of cake,” I think to myself, naively.
Being the alpha male that I am, I effortlessly slid into that plank like a well-oiled machine … for about 10 seconds.
That’s when the real fun began.
My arms were pleading for mercy, my core was questioning its life choices, and my quads were silently plotting their revenge. But like a true warrior, I clenched my jaw and rode out that scorpion sting of lactic acid buildup.
In those intense moments of muscle-quivering focus, my mind transcended the physical realm. Suddenly, I was having philosophical epiphanies that would make Socrates blush:
“Why did the chicken really cross the road?”
“Is the universe just a giant cosmic plank, holding existence together?”
“If I laugh, will my abdominal muscles implode?”
Through the haze of lactic acid buildup, I’ve even pondered the great existential questions that have plagued philosophers for centuries.
“Who am I, really? A sentient being trapped in a corporeal form, or just a collection of planking muscles clinging to consciousness?”
Alas, all brutally awesome things must come to an end (usually around the 2-minute mark for me).
As I collapsed in a puddle of my own salty ambition, I knew one thing for certain: the plank wasn’t just an exercise — it was a way of life. With each agonizing second, I was rewriting the neural code that defined my physical and mental limits. This simple, yet diabolical move was reshaping me from the inside out.
So here’s the deal: If you want to transform yourself into an unstoppable force of nature, you need to embrace the plank. Let it be your spirit guide on a journey into the depths of your inner badass.
Because with each teeth-gritting second, you’ll be forging an unbreakable mind-muscle connection that will make you question everything you thought you knew about your own potential.
But be warned, this path is not for the faint of heart. You may find yourself questioning the very fabric of reality, or pondering the metaphysical implications of your existence … all while your abs are on fire.
As for me?
I’m all in on this plank obsession. Venturing ever deeper into the abyss of self-discovery, one quivering ab muscle at a time. Who knows, maybe I’ll finally unravel the mysteries of the universe buried deep within the cosmic crucible of my core workout.
Or maybe, just maybe, I’ll realize that the true meaning of life was within me all along … buried deep beneath the layers of sweat and self-doubt, patiently awaiting the day when I would finally embrace the power of the plank.
Either way, I’m obsessed, and you should be too. Because at the end of the day, isn’t life just one big, glorious, muscle-quivering plank?
Just don’t be surprised if you emerge from the other side as a newly-minted spiritual gangsta, haunted by the scorching of your eternal abdominal afterburn. You’ve been warned.
You may also enjoy reading:
Remember Your Why, It Will Lead You to Your How | by KayDee | Small Steps | Apr, 2024 | Medium
