Dance of Past and Present

A white light soars around the room, dodging and weaving, trying to be the centre of attention while evading the swirl of darkness chasing it. You watch, amazed. But there's something offputting about the white light. It's too bright, too new, too unfamiliar. The swirl of darkness is the opposite. It certainly isn't a shiny new toy you'd open up on your birthday, it has the warmth amd familiarity of a lovely hand-me-down. [[You enjoy the company of the darkness much better than you enjoy that obnoxious light.]]

The darkness envelops the light, blacking it out. Then, it envelops you in a warm embrace. You're safe now. Safe in the warmth, safe in the familiarity, safe in the- [["HEY!"]]

"Hey! It's noon! What on earth are you still doing lying in bed? Get up already!" It's Mom. [["Ughhh.. let me go back to bed!"]] [["Alright, alright.. I'm up!"]] [["Noon? Really?? Ugh, I slept through my alarm again!"]]

"No way! You need to get into a routine for school. I won't be around to make sure you wake up, thing's are going to be [[different]] with you all on your own in a dorm."

"Good! At least you have a day or two you'll be able to sleep in on this year, with how [[different]] your schedule is."

"Hah! You've been doing that recently. You should try out a different alarm sound, you must've gotten used to the other one." "I used that one throughout highschool! It's always worked." "Well, you're not in highschool anymore. Things are gonna be [[different]], so you may as well change along with them."

Right. It's gonna be different. After all, you're not a highschooler anymore. You're going to be a university student, how weird is that? You're [[not a kid anymore]].

"I don't hear any movement in there!! [[Get out of bed]], or I'll get your brother to come bother you. He has too much energy today, you know how he gets."

You go to the kitchen to grab some breakfast. As you sit down to eat, you start thinking about that [[dream]].

What did it mean? What was that white light? What was all of that darkness? Where were you? Where was everyone else? Were you even yourself in that dream? [[You grow lost in your maze of a mind]].

[["Dude!"]]

"Dude, you've been staring at your piece of toast for 15 minutes. Is it moldy or something?" You look down at the piece of toast in your hands. It's cold and unnapetizing now. Oh well, you didn't have much of an appetite anyways. You get up and [[throw it out]].

You hear a sigh from your mom. She sounds frustrated. "Work issues?" "No, I just don't know what to do with you. You've been in your own head all summer, you haven't done anything. I think you should go on a walk, clear your head." You have nothing else to do today. You suppose you may as well [[go on a walk]].

"Alright. Where should I go walk?" "I don't know, kiddo, it's up to you.. Maybe [[through the forest]]? You used to love nature walks."

"Alright, through the forest it is. Bye, mom" "Have fun!" You [[head out, and go towards the forest]].

On your way out of the house, the crisp smell of a barbeque floods out of your neighbours backyard. The smell swirls around in the wind, and you start to remember something. Something familiar, something warm.. it [[envelops you]].

A campfire. It flings sparks about as a tall figure pokes at it with a stick. The logs in the fire shift to a new position, and the figure seems pleased, allowing the fire to settle again. The figure turns around to face you- no, not just you. There's others too. Confused, you try to get a better look at [[their face]].

Oh! That's it. Usnea is his name. It's a type of.. vine, you think. It didn't really make sense when he explained it the first time. You wonder what his real name is, but all of the counsellors are great at keeping their real names a secret, to the point where there's still [[campers]] finding out that their "earth" name wasn't their real name.

Right, the people around you were the other campers. Some of them your friends, some of them aquaintances. There were other counsellors too - you see Aqua, Element, oh and that's- "Alright! The [[percherons]] are up to sing some campfire songs for us. Come on up, percherons!"

Right. Percherons are a type of horse, and all of the groups are named after different horse breeds. As you realize that, the campers beside you get to their feet. You look up, confused. "Hey, lets go! I only agreed to do this because you were gonna come with, alright?" You look up. It's Laurie. She reaches out her hand. [[Grab her hand]] [[Shake your head]]

You reach up to grab her hand.. but you can't. Why would you? You've never sang before. You did tell Laurie you'd go up and sing with her.. but it's too much. Ashamed, you look away from her, away from the [[light]], and into the familiar [[darkness]].

Absolutely not. You've never sang before. You did tell Laurie you'd go up and sing with her.. but it's too much. Ashamed, you look away from her, away from the [[light]], and into the familiar [[darkness]].

Out of the corner of your eye, you see the light of the campfire reflecting on her. She went up and sang anyways. She looked scared. After all, she's never sang before either. You feel- [[THUMP]]

Ow! You just tripped over that damn [[root]].. it always gets you.

Wait, the root? Of a tree? Weren't you *just* on the sidewalk? Whatever. You must've zoned out and ended up in the forest. You've walked here a lot before, so you just know the path to get to the forest subconciously. [[You get up and dust yourself off]].

You continue on, limping a bit. Theres two paths infront of you. [[One is old and familiar]], its been worn in over the years. It's shaded by lots of trees. The other has just started to be made into a path, [[it's new and strange]]. It's directly in the sunlight.

You start going down the path in the shade. Suddenly, a small bunny runs past you, kicking up some dust. You're strangely intrigued by the dust cloud. You [[kneel down]].

You walk towards the path. A couple steps in, and the sunlight is already too bright for your eyes. You have no choice but to turn around, and go down the [[one that's old and familiar]].

You kneel down to get a better look. The wind gushes, picking up the dust and throwing it in your eyes. You rub at your eyes, [[ jamming them shut to try to numb the pain]].

You manage to squint your eyes open, your vision still blurry from the tears. [[That bunny]] should not have kicked up that much dust.

That bunny - you see another one running by. It kicks up dust the same way the first one did, but this one looks.. really different. Almost [[humanoid.]]

No - it *is* a human. It's another camper, you recognize them from the campfire, they're another percheron. You're pretty sure it's Chris. They have a [[green jersey]] on, it has "bunny" scrawled on the back of it. They're standing infront of a tree, fiddling with a sign posted on it.

You look down to see what you're wearing, you also have a jersey on, except yours is yellow. You're wearing a black sweater underneath, along with black pants that have burrs all over them. There's [[ something sticking out of your pocket]].

You pull it out, it's a keyring. Dull coloured plastic chips dangle from it, you have a couple blue and green ones, and one yellow one. There's also a card labelled [[survival]], it has two rows labelled food and water, both with columns numbered 1-5. It looks like a couple numbers have been stamped.

Right, you're playing survival! It's your second year as an older camper, so you've already gotten to play this before. You lost the last time, and you can feel a swell of determination grow in your chest. Your memories flood out, reminding you of how survival is played. You and the other campers get assigned red, yellow, blue, or green. The colours relate to a type of animal, it's a game intended to teach about the food chain. Reds can hunt everyone else, yellows can hunt blues and greens, blues can hunt greens, and greens just have to run for their lives the whole game. Everyone has life chips that can be taken when you tag someone or are tagged. There's another layer to the game as well, stamps could be found around the area for your survival card, and at the end of the game it would be annoucned how much food and water was required to survive. If you got enough food through stamps and/or other animal's chips, enough water, and didn't lose all of your own life chips, [[you]]'d win!

You got lucky and were assigned yellow, your specific animal assignment was a fox. The specific animal assignments don't matter as much, you know now that they were just to teach everyone where certain animals were in the food chain. Shaking your head, you [[refocus]] - you need to win this year!

Chris is still finishing up fiddling with the sign, you think to yourself it must be a stamp. The signs are quite old, so its an ordeal to actually stamp your card, and they aren't having much luck. [[Run at them]], you can tag them for a food chip and then use the stamp yourself [[Go up to them with your hands up]], you probably have enough food chips, so you don't need to tag them anyways, you just need the stamp [[Stay put]], you remember seeing a red around earlier, and you don't want to lose your last life chip

You jump up and out of the bush, barreling towards them as you break branches under your feet. They barely glance over their shoulder before they book it. Before you can catch up to them, a sharp whistle goes off. You pause the chase as [[warning bells go off in your head]], letting Chris get away.

You get up and walk closer to them, twigs snapping under your not-so-careful feet. They turn around, and bolt before you can even say hi. "Chris! Wait! I'm not gonna tag you, I just want to use the stamp." Chris turns, still uneasy. "You sure?" "Yeah, I don't need any more chips." They walk back towards you. "Phew.. I have one chip left, and I'm totally out of energy! Thank y-" A sharp whistle goes off. Chris' eyes widen. "Hey, that mean's there's only 10 minutes left! They're gonna let out [[the hunter]]!"

You stay put, not wanting to lose your last life chip. Suddenly, you hear a sharp whistle - there's [[10 minutes left]]!

Warning bells go off in your head. You remember that 10 minutes left means that the hunter goes out, it's a counsellor with a neon orange jersey on. They're what got you out last time, it was Bulldog's job last year, and all he had to do was look at you and say bang - he didn't even have to tag you! [[Stay in the bush]], it might not be the best hiding place, but last year you ran to find a good hiding place and got shot before you could get there [[Run to find a better spot]], you don't want to get found here, if you run you might find a much better hiding place

You decide to stay put. Just seconds later, you hear twigs snapping as people run by, and then a deep voice yelling "BANG! BANG! BANG! Got you three!" It's followed by a couple of groans and some laughter. [[You]] grow tense, but luckily it seems like the hunter has gone past you.

You bolt, running as fast as you can. Just seconds later, you hear twigs snapping, and then a deep voice yelling "BANG! BANG! BANG! Got you!" You agroan before bursting out into laughter, a bit frustrated [[you lost]], but you had a good time anyway.

Warning bells go off in your head. You remember what Chris is talking about, the hunter is a counsellor with a neon orange jersey on. They get sent out in the last 10 minutes of the game. They're what got you out last time, it was Bulldog's job last year, and all he had to do was look at you and say bang - he didn't even have to tag you! [[Hide in the bush with Chris]], it might not be the best hiding place, but last year you ran to find a good hiding place and got shot before you could get there [[Run to find a better spot with Chris]], you don't want to get found here, if you run you might find a much better hiding place

"Come on!" you squeak out, motioning to Chris to follow you. The two of you dive into the bush you were just in, laying down under the branches. Just seconds later, you hear twigs snapping as people run by, and then a deep voice yelling "BANG! BANG! BANG! Got you three!" It's followed by a couple of groans and some laughter. [[You and Chris]] grow tense, but luckily it seems like the hunter has gone past you.

The whistle means there's 10 minutes left. You remember that means the hunter goes out, it's a counsellor with a neon orange jersey on. They're what got you out last time, it was Bulldog's job last year, and all he had to do was look at you and say bang - he didn't even have to tag you! [[Jump back in the bush]], it might not be the best hiding place, but last year you ran to find a good hiding place and got shot before you could get there [[Run to find a better spot]], you don't want to get found here, if you run you might find a much better hiding place

You dive into the bush you were just in, laying down under the branches. Just seconds later, you hear twigs snapping as people run by, and then a deep voice yelling "BANG! BANG! BANG! Got you three!" It's followed by a couple of groans and some laughter. [[You]] grow tense, but luckily it seems like the hunter has gone past you.

"Let's go!" you squeak out, motioning to Chris to follow you. The two of you bolt, running as fast as you can. Just seconds later, you hear twigs snapping, and then a deep voice yelling "BANG! BANG! BANG! Got you two!" You and Chris groan before bursting out into laughter, a bit frustrated [[you lost]], but you had a good time anyway.

You stare into the darkness of the forest to your side. She went up and sang anyways. She sounded scared. After all, she's never sang before either. You feel- [[THUMP]]

You start going down the path in the shade. Suddenly, a small bunny runs past you, kicking up some dust. You're strangely intrigued by the dust cloud. You [[kneel down]].

You roll out of bed. You need to go to the [[bathroom]].

You use the bathroom, and then get ready. You shower, brush your teeth, dry and brush your hair, put deoderant on, and get dressed. [[You're all ready for the day]].

To be extra safe, the two of you don't say a word for the next 10 minutes. You hear another sharp whistle, followed by a couple yells of "[[Game over!]]" You and Chris shout "Game over!!" in unison, to continue the chain of shouts until everyone is aware of it.

You trudge back to the [[start point]] with Chris and group up with everyone else, sharing laughter and exchanging stories.

"Alright, everyone back?" Spindle, another counsellor, asks. Agreeable murmers go through the crowd of people who are either chugging water or bandaging up scraped knees. "It was a rough winter this year.. the only way you could have [[survived]] it was with 2 water stamps, 4 food stamps or chips, and of course not running out of your own life chips!"

You look down at your key ring and your card. You have three water stamps, more than enough food stamps and chips, and one of your own life chips. Plus, the hunter didn't get you like last year! [[You won!]]

You won. Finally. Even just remembering winning that game of Survival fills you with such euphoria, it meant so much to you [[at the time]]. Realizing you're not there anymore, you look down to see yourself still crouched over where the bunny ran by. You don't even try to stand up, you just sit down entirely.

To be extra safe, you don't move for the next 10 minutes. You hear another sharp whistle, followed by a couple yells of "[[Game over!!]]" You shout "Game over!!", to continue the chain of shouts until everyone is aware of it.

You lost. Again. I guess you should've learned from the past instead of running back to it. It's okay, it was still a really good game. Even just remembering that game of Survival fills you with such euphoria, it meant so much to you [[at the time]]. Realizing you're not there anymore, you look down to see yourself still crouched over where the bunny ran by. You don't even try to stand up, you just sit down entirely.

[[God, you miss that summer camp.]]

You [[miss]] the early morning activities. You [[miss]] trying to collect all of the badges you could. You [[miss]] all of the meals. You [[miss]] the saying, "take what you need, and eat what you take!" You [[miss]] saying grace before every meal, except instead of thanking God, you thank the Earth. You [[miss]] having challenges at every meal to see who would be the "gopher", the person who would go for the table cleaning supplies. You [[miss]] all of the activities you'd do throughout the day. You [[miss]] riding horses. You [[miss]] helping out with the cats and the garden. You [[miss]] learning about the farm animals. You [[miss]] going swimming. You [[miss]] kayaking. You [[miss]] learning Jacob's Ladder as a string game. You [[miss]] the campfires. You [[miss]] the songs. You [[miss]] crying with your friends you've made in such a short time because it's the last day of camp. You [[miss]] everytime your mom would pick you up, and asking "How was hippie camp?" You [[miss]] saying "It's not a hippie camp mom! But it was really good" and then explaining everything you did over the week. You [[miss]] everything from that camp.

You feel hot tears run down your face, a quiet sob escaping your lips. It's not just that you miss that summer camp, it's that you [[miss being a kid]]. You're 18 this year, and you're going to University.

University is going to be really different. You won't have your parents around to help you out. None of your friends are going to the same University that you are. You're not even sure what you want to do with the rest of your life. It's a lot to deal with at once, and it's even worse to think about what you're [[leaving behind]].

But, are you [[really]] leaving everything behind?

Think about it. You may not be experiencing the same things over again, but you'll be [[carrying memories]] with you to your new adventures.

It's like when you played Survival. You [[remembered]] what made you lose the last time, and went from there. You could've chosen to learn from it, and you could've chosen to ignore it - but either way, you remembered it. You brought the comforting past along with you to the unfamiliar present.

So, in a way, you aren't just leaving everything behind. Yes, you'll miss being a kid. Yes, you won't experience anything quite like it again. Yes, the future is unfamiliar and a lot to deal with. [[But]], you will have your memories with you to comfort and help you.

[[You'll be okay.]]

You take a deep breath in, and let it out with a huff. You get to your feet and [[go home]] for the day.

You don't do much for the rest of the day. You decide to [[go to bed early]], so that tomorrow you can get up early and go for a morning walk in the forest. Before you go to bed, you make sure to change your alarm sound.

You settle into a [[deep sleep]].

The white light and swirl of darkness are back again, except this time it doesn't look like the darkness is chasing the light. This time, they seem to be dancing together in a particular fashion. The light is the main dancer, constantly supported by the darkness being it's backup. You're [[entranced]] by this dance.

You're okay with the light being unfamiliar because the darkness' familiarity guides you through it. Slowly but surely, you understand how the dance works. You might not get the specific mechanics of it or all of the steps, but you can feel the [[movement]] in your soul.

You stay in this dream for what feels like forever, but you don't care. You're happy to sway back and forth as you marvel at their performance. Suddenly, you're [[jolted]] out of the audience.

It's your alarm. You reach to shut it off before [[hopping out of bed]], strangely energetic. You haven't gotten a good sleep like that in awhile.

You head to the bathroom, following the same routine as yesterday. [[Now you're all ready for the day]].

You eat a quick breakfast before heading out for your walk. You breathe in [[the crisp morning air]], reminding you of early mornings at camp.

This time, you don't feel like you've been transported back to where your memories took place. You feel the memory wash over you, but you don't let it distract you from where you are [[now]].

Right now, you're walking through you're neighborhood to get to the [[forest]]. You notice the leaves on the trees are ever so slightly beggining to turn red, you notice the geese practicing flying in V formation, you notice so much more than you usually do. For once, you're appreciating the present.

You make it to the forest. You decide to try something [[new]] today and head down the path that's flooded with the fresh morning sunlight.

It's [[bright]]. Really bright. Almost too bright.

But [[it's okay]], this time you don't have to turn around and go back.

Glancing over your shoulder, you see [[the light has casted a shadow]] behind you. You know you'll make it.

You trudge back to the [[start point]] and group up with everyone else, sharing laughter and exchanging stories.

You manage to squint your eyes open, your vision still blurry from the tears. [[That bunny]] should not have kicked up that much dust.

"Good! At least you have a day or two you'll be able to sleep in on this year, with how [[different]] your schedule is."

"No way! You need to get into a routine for school. I won't be around to make sure you wake up, thing's are going to be [[different]] with you all on your own in a dorm."

[[You'll be okay.]]

You trudge back to the [[start point]] with Chris and group up with everyone else, sharing laughter and exchanging stories.

You trudge back to the [[start point]] and group up with everyone else, sharing laughter and exchanging stories.

You roll out of bed. You need to go to the [[bathroom]].

You [[miss]] the early morning activities. You [[miss]] trying to collect all of the badges you could. You [[miss]] all of the meals. You [[miss]] the saying, "take what you need, and eat what you take!" You [[miss]] saying grace before every meal, except instead of thanking God, you thank the Earth. You [[miss]] having challenges at every meal to see who would be the "gopher", the person who would go for the table cleaning supplies. You [[miss]] all of the activities you'd do throughout the day. You [[miss]] riding horses. You [[miss]] helping out with the cats and the garden. You [[miss]] learning about the farm animals. You [[miss]] going swimming. You [[miss]] kayaking. You [[miss]] learning Jacob's Ladder as a string game. You [[miss]] the campfires. You [[miss]] the songs. You [[miss]] crying with your friends you've made in such a short time because it's the last day of camp. You [[miss]] everytime your mom would pick you up, asking "How was hippie camp?" You [[miss]] saying "It's not a hippie camp mom! But it was really good" and then explaining everything you did over the week. You [[miss]] everything from that camp.

You eat a quick breakfast before heading out for your walk. You breathe in [[the crisp morning air]], reminding you of early mornings at camp.

You start going down the path in the shade. Suddenly, a small bunny runs past you, kicking up some dust. You're strangely intrigued by the dust cloud. You [[kneel down]].

You bolt, running as fast as you can. Just seconds later, you hear twigs snapping, and then a deep voice yelling "BANG! Got you!" You groan before bursting out into laughter, a bit frustrated [[you lost]], but you had a good time anyway.

"Let's go!" you squeak out, motioning to Chris to follow you. The two of you bolt, running as fast as you can. Just seconds later, you hear twigs snapping, and then a deep voice yelling "BANG! BANG! Got you two!" You and Chris groan before bursting out into laughter, a bit frustrated [[you lost]], but you had a good time anyway.

You stay put, not wanting to lose your last life chip. Suddenly, you hear a sharp whistle - there's [[10 minutes left]]!

Ow! You just tripped over that damn [[root]].. it always gets you.

That bunny - you see another one running by. It kicks up dust the same way the first one did, but this one looks.. really different. Almost [[humanoid.]]

The darkness envelops the light, blacking it out. Then, it envelops you in a warm embrace. You're safe now. Safe in the warmth, safe in the familiarity, safe in the- [["HEY!"]]

[["Dude!"]]

You take a deep breath in, and let it out with a huff. You get to your feet and [[go home]] for the day.

You go to the kitchen to grab some breakfast. As you sit down to eat, you start thinking about that [[dream]].

[[God, you miss that summer camp.]]

You use the bathroom, and then get ready. You shower, brush your teeth, dry and brush your hair, put deoderant on, and get dressed. [[You're all ready for the day]].

But [[it's okay]], this time you don't have to turn around and go back.

You stare into the darkness of the forest to your side. She went up and sang anyways. She sounded scared. After all, she's never sang before either. You feel- [[THUMP]]

Right. It's gonna be different. After all, you're not a highschooler anymore. You're going to be a university student, how weird is that? You're [[not a kid anymore]].

What did it mean? What was that white light? What was all of that darkness? Where were you? Where was everyone else? Were you even yourself in that dream? [[You grow lost in your maze of a mind]].

You make it to the forest. This time, you watch your feet so you don't trip over that root. You decide to try something [[new]] today and head down the path that's flooded with the fresh morning sunlight.

You don't do much for the rest of the day. You decide to [[go to bed early]], so that tomorrow you can get up early and go for a morning walk in the forest.